What did you do?

We're at our wit's end. We catch her before she actually does it but it saddens us that she's actually attempting to hit and bite her baby sister.

She is half kissy lovey and half biting and hitting the baby.

Our hearts are broken. We realize that this is not unusual but we're going on week three and DH goes back to work week 4.

I'm unable to leave the baby for a minute (lay her securely on the bed so I can go to the bathroom) without Veronica pouncing on her.

I feel very sad because I'm getting resentful of Veronica. It's a mixture of sadness, anxiety, failure, and resentment. I feel as though I failed her by bringing someone new home who takes up a majority of my time. I feel sad because she seems so upset. I'm anxious because I can't turn my back without another incident happening. I am resentful because I have to remember that she's really just a baby herself and can't control herself and then I think, oh come on, you KNOW you're not supposed to bite!

Not rational, I know.

On this past Tuesday she leaned in and bit her cousin on her side hard enough to leave a bruise.

What do we do? We've given love, positive attention, and consequences. We're running out of ideas.

sorry you are having such a hard time. i have no ideas for you. so here's a bump....

Just don't let her have the opportunity for now, and work on positive reinforcement. It has only been 3 weeks and I'm sure she's still reeling from the shock of the new addition. Give it some time and until then don't leave them together.

a friend who is a child psychologist told me that toddlers bite becuase they dont have the words to express their feelings-- sometimes those feelings are anger, sometimes affection, or there are numerous other reasons. I have a local friend who was having many of these issues, except more of his anger was directed at her. She finally let him just get it out one day-- he kicked and hit her for a good 5-10 min before she finally stopped him. She said it did help for him to be able to get out his anger. I don't know how verbal your kiddo is, but if she is able to understand to direct her anger at xyz (pillow, whatever), then try and talk to her about that. If all else fails, tell her to come hit YOU if she is feeling angry. Not the ideal situation, but one you can deal with. Toddlers do not have much impulse control at all, so remember this as well when dealing with her. Try and talk to her specifically about her feelings, and why she is feeling the way she is. Reassure her that it is Ok to feel angry, etc. Use simple thoughts and feelings, not more complex, and then try and help her find more appropriate ways to react.

Gotta run-- feeling pukey this AM <sigh> does it ever end?

Hang in there, mama. I remember very well when my first-born was 2 yrs 3 mos and we had a new baby. She was so conflicted. She was obviously fascinated by the baby, but at the same time she was clearly jealous. It took a few months for her to work it out (and by then the baby was a little less fragile). I just didn't leave them alone for the first few months. When I had to run into the other room and I didn't want to take the baby, I took the toddler with me instead.

For what it's worth, those two (my first and second born) are thick as thieves. They have been best friends almost forever (they are 8 and 6 now).

Hugs mama...it does get better most of the time.

Just don't let her have the opportunity for now, and work on positive reinforcement. It has only been 3 weeks and I'm sure she's still reeling from the shock of the new addition. Give it some time and until then don't leave them together.


This is exactly what I did. The positive reinforcement helps you turn your attitude around toward #1 too b/c you're only looking for good stuff. Also, make the extra effort to hold #1 & treat her more like a baby too. Don't expect her to dress herself just do it for her.

I still take the baby into the bathroom when I shower (bouncy seat) but can now leave them alone while I pee.

Things improve fast.