If you didn't want your child to become sexually active, would you buy them a sex toy so they could please themself without putting themselves at risk.

I just recently became a Passion Party consultant, and although I don't think this would be a good way to promote my business, I think it is a very realistic solution to a very tough issue. I, personally wouldn't have a problem promoting masterbation instead of safer sex to my own children when they are old enough, but

What are your thoughts on this?

hmmm. not sure i would be too comfortable with that. not sure why, just my personal feelings.

No, I definitely would not.

No I wouldn't. I don't have a very good reason, just seems inappropriate to me.

Uh, yeah. Inappropiate as h*** IMO.

I'm sorry you feel that way and I hope you are referring to how you feel about doing that for your child, and not my bringing it up in a thread. I don't want to offend anyone, I just think its a very interesting subject.

I know that a lot of people might feel uncomfortable bringing something like that up to their child, but with the STD statistics the way they are out there, I would sure take the chance of sharing an uncomfortable moment with my kid if it would keep them safe. KWIM?

I would not buy one of my children a sex toy. I did not even own one until I was married for 2 years lol. That is something they can do for themselves. If my daughter bought one at 17 I would not fall over dead or anything.

Originally posted by peacelilymama
I'm sorry you feel that way and I hope you are referring to how you feel about doing that for your child, and not my bringing it up in a thread.

I personally didn't mean the thread. I meant the idea of going to 13 or 14 yr old one day with a huge neon pink fake penis saying "here honey, let me show you how to pleasure yourself so you won't go get it elsewhere.". As well as inappropriate, I find it unrealistic. I like dildos, but still like my husband better. ;)

I have no idea how I feel about this... yes, its A MILLION times better than an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy and STDs but still... I just don't know... it's considered statuatory rape if a girl has sex under what, 16-18? And those things are instores that require 18+...

I doubt seriously that I would ever offer but I think I might purchase or give a credit card number (for her privacy) for an older teen who asked for one... maybe... gosh.. I just don't know, LOL!

Or maybe just a book or website on self pleasure.. not sure if a toy is the right thing for a teen..

heck no! it's one thing for them to learn to get pleasure from their own bodies, and we want them to know that it is 100% ok and healthy. But it is a totally different thing to hand them something that is supposed to simulate sex. They don't NEED a toy to learn their body.

No way.

Hmmm. I remember having a similar discussion on the Personal Place board earlier this year. I don't think it is a bad thing to be open with teens about sex toys, although I think that if they are going to masterbate, they will do so whether they have a toy or not. We have a fantastic women-owned sex shop in Madison (opened by a lesbian couple--one a social worker and the other a doctor) and I would be comfortable bringing a teen to it (there are many resources on sexuality, being comfortable with your body etc, including books and classes). I think that kids are going to do what they are going to do, and either we can be upfront with them and possibly understand what they are going through, or we can pretend it might not be happening. I would much rather my dd went to a classy business with me, than a downtown, sticky, and gross sex shop. That said, I don't think I would just hand over a dildo to my daughter--I would want to, however, convey the message that masterbation is okay, and if she wanted to use a toy, that I wouldn't be horrified.

I absolutely will not buy my child a toy. No way, no how!

He!!, I wouldn't even buy a girlfriend a sex toy for a shower or something. It ain't my bidness how people like to get off, unless they are in bed with me.

So, no.

If you're willing to buy a dildo for your dd, are you also willing to buy a pocket pussy for your ds? Bleh, those are sick. :o

I remember this discussion on the Sex board not too long ago...

And my answer was, and is, no. Teens are not often having sex to pleasure themselves. IMO most teens are having it out of wanting to be accepted, because they want to try it, because they want to fit in....low self esteem, etc. Not all, no. And those having it with someone they love, because of the love, well, imo they don't need a sex toy...it ain't gonna stop a 16 year old girl who is in love from experimenting with her boyfriend imo.

Actually, when I made this thread I was thinking more of for a boy. LOL. I think that maybe girls are having sex more because they want to feel accepted, but for boys I definitely think its out of horniness!

And I agree, I definitely don't want my kid going to some sleezy shop. I wouldn't want anyone to go to one! LOL! That's why I love what I do!

And, for the record, I don't think that our toys for men are gross at all!


**edited to add another ? or two.

To those of you who said no, are you also against handing out condoms to promote the use of them, or against buying your child say, a playboy or other soft porn/nudity types of mags.
Just curious.

I really think this is an enthralling subject, and I appreciate your honest replies. :thumbsup:

Condoms - no. I think if you're old enough to need a condom you're old enough to buy a condom. I really think that teens need to take some responsibility in this life-changing act.

Magazines - Hell no. As a die hard feminist I would hope that just thinking about "real" women would be enough.

Toys - No. I think that being with a real human could be a major let down after the almost instantaneous reaction you can have with a vibrator. It's hard enough for teen boys, let's not make it harder, lol.

No, will not be handing out condoms.

No, will not be providing mags.

Originally posted by craftykitty
I personally didn't mean the thread. I meant the idea of going to 13 or 14 yr old one day with a huge neon pink fake penis saying "here honey, let me show you how to pleasure yourself so you won't go get it elsewhere.". As well as inappropriate, I find it unrealistic. I like dildos, but still like my husband better. ;)

Wow, I am not even sure where to begi with that one.

Claire, I was working for a similar company and I did have people buy their kids sex toys. Usually mothers buying for sons going off to college. Did I think it ws a little weird, yes. To be honest. But do I think it is wrong? No.

Emily

Nope.
I've raised two stepdaughters into adulthood and I can safely say nope, not me.
Hana

no porno, no sex toys, no condoms. No.

if one of my teens came to me and told me they wanted one, i'd definitely make it happen.

as for porn, no~i don't allow any form of porn in our home (although dh has a vast collection on the ship, i am sure-it stays there and never comes here).

i'm just not one of these people who don't want my teens to experience no pleasure at all until they're married. i think it's healthy for them to explore their bodies and their sexuality-BEFORE they decide to settle down and be with one person.

just my nsho :)

Originally posted by ~Denise~
Teens are not often having sex to pleasure themselves. IMO most teens are having it out of wanting to be accepted, because they want to try it, because they want to fit in....low self esteem, etc. Not all, no. And those having it with someone they love, because of the love, well, imo they don't need a sex toy...it ain't gonna stop a 16 year old girl who is in love from experimenting with her boyfriend imo.

:ditto: without rolling eyes, I was having sex at 16 and not for pleasure, I was doing it to feel accepted, doing it cause it seemed like everyone else was, and doing it so my stupid bf would stay with me :(

It wasnt for pleasure until I met dh at 18 and we've been together ever since.

genevasmum - what if it were cartoon naked ladies?

:D

Originally posted by peacelilymama
If you didn't want your child to become sexually active, would you buy them a sex toy so they could please themself without putting themselves at risk.

nope. wouldn't do it.

Originally posted by peacelilymama
genevasmum - what if it were cartoon naked ladies?

:D

That would depend on the character and her backstory. If he was interested in her for more than her T & A, I wouldn't have a problem with it. If it's a porno comic then blech. Those things are nastier than real pictorals.

becky~

being that you'd get your dd on bc pills, i thought i'd ask you about using that particular method of bc for her.

the hormones scare me, but i know dd needs to be protecting herself when she becomes active, and not just using a condom.

how'd you decide on the pill?

Kas, I like the pill because even though it's something that has to be taken every day, it's also a very flexible form of basic BC. There are new very low dose pills out there and it can be stoppped immediately if need be. It can also be used as emergency contraception which can keep a teenager from having to deal with the harsher reality of an abortion. I started the pill when I was 15 and it was a good reminder for me that the very possible consequence of sex was preganancy. That actually helped me abstain, lol.

This in NO WAY means that I think anyone should have promiscuous or unprotected/non-safer sex.

Edited to fix one word.

thanks for answering :)

i haven't done any research at all, as we're several yrs from needing any bc for dd, but i'm wanting to be prepared when the time comes.

she's already told me she wants to be on the pill when she's 16~but has no vocal plans of having sex. just wants to be well versed in the way of bc, at least that's what she says at 12yo, lol

which pills should i look at with low doses?

she's fully grown, if that plays a role in drug choice.

Kas, check out this link: http://www.drdonnica.com/faqs/00005246.htm

I forgot that a triphasic pill also can help with skin problems and can help regulate heavy periods and heavy cramping. That's why I started at 15 and then took the pill for 10 years.

If your dd is menstruating, I highly, highly reccommend starting her yearly gynecological appointments. It such an important relationship for a woman to have.

Originally posted by peacelilymama

To those of you who said no, are you also against handing out condoms to promote the use of them, or against buying your child say, a playboy or other soft porn/nudity types of mags.
Just curious.



Yes, I am against handing out condoms. I don't want to give the impression that I condone sex before marriage. I do however talk to my teens about sex and tell them if they are going to do it, they need to be smart and protect themselves. I figure if they are mature enough to have sex, they need to take total responsibilities and get their own condoms.

Originally posted by genevasmum
Kas, check out this link: http://www.drdonnica.com/faqs/00005246.htm

I forgot that a triphasic pill also can help with skin problems and can help regulate heavy periods and heavy cramping. That's why I started at 15 and then took the pill for 10 years.

If your dd is menstruating, I highly, highly reccommend starting her yearly gynecological appointments. It such an important relationship for a woman to have.

tan hasn't started her menses yet, but we're waiting patiently :D

she's started developing her breasts and her hips came outta nowhere this past summer! i expect it at any time...

she says she doesn't wanna do a gyno check up until she's 15/16 and ready for the pill. maybe once she gets her period she'll change her mind, i dunno.

i'd take her to who i went to, but in all honestly, the dr wasn't that fab. tan needs a soft spoken, soft touch kinda dr for her first (and all, imo) exam.

No I would not buy my teen any toys or magazines and yes I have a teen now (14yo dd)

Originally posted by CincoDeMama
i'd take her to who i went to, but in all honestly, the dr wasn't that fab. tan needs a soft spoken, soft touch kinda dr for her first (and all, imo) exam.

I completely agree. I have a wonderful doctor now, but it took two other so-so docs to find her. I'd start asking around to see who women you trust suggest and then interview the docs just like you would a pediatrician. Actually, you can ask your family doctor or pediatrician, if you have one. Planned Parenthood can also be a good resource for yearly check-ups.

Some midwives also will do well-woman check-ups. I was lucky to have a nurse (who are the ones a step-up from RNs?) who was a very gentle soul for my first check-ups--she still hugs me when I see her.

NO to toys.

NO to mags.

NO to condoms.

No, not in this lifetime.

And I sure as he!! wouldn't bring it up to them.

Originally posted by peacelilymama
To those of you who said no, are you also against handing out condoms to promote the use of them, or against buying your child say, a playboy or other soft porn/nudity types of mags.
Just curious.


I'm sorry, but this whole thread amazes me.

What happened to being the CHILD'S parent?

I think it's utterly ridiculous that a PARENT would buy their child a sex toy, especially if said parent OFFERS their child a toy, without being asked.
As for playboy/soft porn magazines, there is a reason there is a AGE restriction to buy them.

Originally posted by JodiM
I'm sorry, but this whole thread amazes me.

What happened to being the CHILD'S parent?

I think it's utterly ridiculous that a PARENT would buy their child a sex toy, especially if said parent OFFERS their child a toy, without being asked.
As for playboy/soft porn magazines, there is a reason there is a AGE restriction to buy them.

What she said. Isn't that considered sexual abuse in some way?? I would not let my teenaged daughter be around anyone who handed her soft porn magazines; in fact, I'd probably have the police on the case. And I sure as sh!t wouldn't give them to her myself.