How old was your daughter when she started her period?

How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?

What does she prefer to use, supply wise?

What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?

Anything else I need to know?!?

AKA Give me some support and ideas and whatever the hell else here...I think *I* am having a harder time with this than she is...but I really do not want to be. Sigh.

I don't have a DD, but I remember the day I got mine. I remember the 2nd one I got also. I don't remember telling anyone for a LONG time. I remember telling my mom, but it wasn't anything special.

I found my calendar ESSENTIAL! That was from the VERY beginning. I tracked EVERYTHING on a calendar, not a diary. I carried a pocket calendar b/c it was my "journal" and I didn't have to show anyone. I do remember having to argue EVERY MONTH about what pads I wanted b/c teh ones I liked were "so expensive".



How old was your daughter when she started her period?

I was 10. I got my period on April 13, 1986, just 7 days before my 11th birthday.I was in 5th grade.

How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed? I was horrified. I'd wanted it badly, but I got it when horseback riding with my cousins and it wasn't at all like I expected.

What does she prefer to use, supply wise? At the time, I prefered Stayfree Silhouette, I changed to Kotex Natural Ultrathins in Middle School and High School. My mom straight up refused to all me to use tampons even for sports, cheerleading or dance team. Can you imagine doing high kicks with a bulky pad on? If I had to choose today, I'd probably want a cool pack of cloth pads and/or a Keeper if they make them for teens. I'd want information on tampons and the ability to use them if I feel it's needed.

What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life? My hardest thing was the fact that EVERYONE (once they knew) kept telling me that I was "off" or "backward" because I wasn't "regular". I wanted to be on the pill from 6th grade on b/c my cycle wasn't 28 days exactly and EVERYONE was all on me about it (our health and pe instructors were the worst). Well, I was PERFECTLY regular (as my "journals" will attest). My cycle has ALWAYS been 33-35 days long! Make sure your DD knows that it's normal to not be "regular" for several months to a year after starting, then make sure she understands that 28 days is an AVERAGE of all the women in the world.

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this? I was very very private about this stuff. I didn't want ANYONE to know. I don't know who my mom told, I am sure she told a lot of people. I told people on my own. This was no one's business but mine!

Anything else I need to know?!? She needs to know that it might make her feel really crummy. I was soooo sick on the first day EVERY month for most of my life. She needs to know there's nothing wrong with her. She needs to know that it's important to keep a record of her period for herself, not for others. Please don't confront her about it if she hides messy panties in the laundry or tries to get it out on her own. Teach her how to clean up messes b/c there's nothing worse than being confronted about something that might be embarrassing. It's ok to take midol and it's ok to hide it in a Tylenol bottle in her locker...lol. I bet her schools has a policy about keeping pain meds in the kids' possession, so her school nurse is going to need to be talked to. Make sure that the nurse doesn't try to talk down to her. You might want to be there with her.

These are just things I remember soooo clearly! I think I need a shrink... ;)

I love the idea of a care package with a wall calendar, a pocket calendar, midol and some cute pads. Also, she's going to need a bag to carry her supplies in for school/slumber parties. It should be something cute that doesn't scream PERIOD SUPPLIES!


You might wanna get the books

The Seven Sacred Rites of Menarche: The Spiritual Journey of the Adolescent Girl (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1891661191/qid=1105646018/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-3751965-3115865?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)

And/Or

Moon Mother, Moon Daughter: Myths and Rituals That Celebrate a Girl's Coming-of-Age (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1931412138/qid=1105646082/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/103-3751965-3115865)

I hear they are fabulous!

How old was your daughter when she started her period?
chels was 12

How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?
she was thrilled. she'd been waiting to start
not embarassed at all - we'd talked about "becoming a woman" and i presented her with a box made by a wahmama with her new pads, some incense an article on red parties (she chose not to have one) and then i took her out for a mom/daughter date. Gramma took her for a manicure that weekend too

What does she prefer to use, supply wise?
she picked out her own fabric for cloth pads. Teen size pads... longer but thinner

What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?
mostly just tracking it so she wasn't taken by surprise at school with it and no supplies. first few months were so sporadic she had a tough time and carried a pad with her and a change of pants everywhere she went

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?
nah not chelsey. She told him straight out "i have cramps be nice to me i got my first period". He gave her a hug and went out and bought her a chocolate bar and some midol. LOL


Anything else I need to know?!?
like i said the toughest part for my dd was tracking when she was due to get her next cycle so she could be prepared. She kinda guess for a certain week and carries a pad and change of underwear with her to school that week and wears a sweatshirt just in case that she can tie around her waist if she leaks (happened once and she handled it very well)
otherwise the hardest part for ME is her moodiness - she gets hardcore pms and then pretty nasty cramps. I try to keep her moving cuz when she's walking/active she seems to be less miserable

hope some of this helps...

Yes, Barb, it does help. A LOT more than you know. :heart: Thank you...

Ginny was 12 3/4 when she started hers.

She dealt with in a very matter of fact way, although she was somewhat excited, I would say. She uses tampons, not my choice, but that is what all her friends use, and she is quite the conformist, a reaction to her non-conformist familiy, I fear.

I can't say she has experienced much in the way of hardships, she seemed to take it in her stride. She rarely mentions it to me now, only when she is in need of supplies.

She wasn't embarrassed about DH (her step-dad) knowing. She had an "accident" once and Toby came up saying loudly that Ginny's "wee wee" was bleeding, my father and step-mum were staying with us at the time and I can tell you my dad was way, way more embarrassed than she was!

ETA: she seems to be lucky in that she doesn't get cramps or much discomfort. She is always moody, so I don't think I can blame that on PMS!

I hope you all have an idea on how happy and appreciative I am here...with you sharing stories, ideas, etc. I NEED to hear it. I grew up being taught to be ashamed of my period, dirty, etc. I STILL carry those feelings. I know they are wrong, and off. And I can tell you that. But deep down?! I am still bothered. )o:

Having you all post and share is making this so much easier for me. Seriously. If you asked me to, I'd pay you for these posts. LOL. I seriously need to hear these things so badly. :(

Rachel started last year. She was close to 14.

Of course she was thrilled becuase her friends had already started. I told her that her diet was not quite like her friends and that it *may* have something to do with her getting it later than her friends.

That is unknown of course but speculated that processed foods may cause our chidlren to ahve puberty sooner-who knows.
Anyway, since she was mad at me for feeding her healthy food anyway, I was glad she finally was blessed on her womanhood journey.
She gets cramps sometimes-she can seem PMS y anyway so who knows if she really gets it or not.

I have seen in both my teens going through puberty that anger can come much easier. It can be rough!

She craves fries! I ahve made her watch Supersize me 3-4 times so she knows that those fries do not break down quickly and that she needs to eat fries in moderation.
Now you know why she hates me *lol* but she will be thankful for it 20 years from now:)

As for supplies, she has cloth pads she wears at home and she prefers tampons at school becuase she feels mroe secure with one in.

She was embarrassed at first to tell her brothers adn step dad, but I told him and we celebrated as a family together and shared that it was so wonderful and not to be embarrased over. Then we took her out for Thai:)

How old was your daughter when she started her period?

She was in 5th grade, poor thing!

How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?

Oh My gosh! It was a hoot! I had been at a birth the night before, so she had been with Dad and her baby brother the previous evening. I was checking my email in the morning and she came running it jumping up and down saying "Guess what I got! Guess what I got!"..my first thought was "the new Harry Potter book?", because it had just come out, and she and my husband love to hang out at the book store. She lauged and said "No! My period!"...so uh,,,she was pretty thrilled! LOL!

What does she prefer to use, supply wise?

She started off with just regular pads I had left over from my menstral history (I had a hysterectomy when my youngest was 4 months old), but when she read a book her step-grandmother gave her (American Girls about growing up) they mentioned cloth pads there..so she asked. I was reluctant to go there, but eventually we made the full switch. She did start using tampons occasionally that year, as she unfortunately got her period the morning of her class swimming party later that year! So we use unbleached ones, but she has been working on a package of 16 for a year now, so really it is cloth pads.

What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?

She is cursed with really bad cramps sometimes, as I was. That has been the only thing,,she was eager for the change, seems to welcome it each month. We did have a ceremony for her about 3 weeks after her first period,,with women in her life coming with blessing or a poem or a song, prayer, we all brough beads to make her a beautiful necklace,,it was a special evening for us all, sitting around the table talking about becoming a woman, telling the "period tales"..you know, how you managed to get out of math class that time you leaked on your pants,, so on.

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?

That was almost as funny as how she told me. I am remarried, so she is very close to her step but now adoptive father. As soon as she blurted to me that she got her period that morning, she insisted on calling him on his cell phone to tell him! (wasn't sure how he would take that!) He had a flower arrangement sent to her at school..pretty sweet how close they are, and how open she is with him. :) He felt lucky that she wanted to tell him like that.

My dd got hers right after she turned 12. She was embarrased for anyone to know. She had planned on using cloth pads, but changed her mind & will only use disposable. To her it signalled the end of her childhood & that really bummed her out. She did NOT want to grow up!
She wanted no aknowledgment of any kind.

Only now at 14 1/2 is she able to be more relaxed about it - and just a bit more relaxed at that!

How old was your daughter when she started her period?

Trystan was almost 10. Summer before 5th grade.

How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?

She was pleased, but not prepared. What I mean is she was talking about getting her period, but wasn't able to really handle what that meant...umm like not leaving a mess in the bathroom, changing her pads before they leaked, and what not. She is much better now! But she has now been dealing with it for 4 years. (wow that is a long time!)

What does she prefer to use, supply wise? She uses disposable pads. She has used some cloth ones and has said she wants to use them but is embarrassed about using them at school. She says cloth is more comfortable, but can't get over using them at school

What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?

Umm the cramps and PMS are the worse. She gets really grumpy right before her period and has cramps for the first couple of days. She swears by Midol. Her face also breaks out really bad right before she starts. It gives us a warning of what is to come.

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?

Nah...it embarrassed DH, which means Trystan wants to talk about it as often as she can/ She loves bugging her dad!

Anything else I need to know?!?

You can handle this :big hug: You can't do worse then me. We were shopping when Trystan started. She came out of the restroom and told me that she had started and I started telling no honey you couldn't have started, you are too young. She had to convince me that yes she did start. I felt so bad!

Passage: A Girl's Guide

Written by GladRags own Michelle A. L. Singer, Passage is a comprehensive menstruation guide for girls. Biology, history, menstrual options, the moon and emotional health come together in a lively, positive approach to menstruation. Written with the health of bodies, attitudes, and the environment in mind, this book provides a great introduction to an important new phase of life.

I thought that this book might be helpful or at least interesting.

http://gladrags.com/product/Passage:_A_Girl's_Guide.html

If it does not happen till mom has gone through menopause it would be nice to have something in the house besides washcloths!

I don't have any daughters, but I can tell you about when i got mine.

I had just had my eleventh birthday. I remember it was morning and I came out of the bathroom and told my parents. They were both so excited and happy for me - I believe I got hugged. The first thing I did at school was tell my teacher - who was also the principal.

I can't remember which pads I used first - I think maxithins and then I switched to sillouettes. I never used tampons and had never even heard of cloth.

I had and sometimes still have horrific cramps. I also had very, very heavy periods - I learned to put pads in my underwear crossways so that when I slept at night I had a better shot at not leaking. I also slept on a towel.

Mine hasn't gotten her's yet. But one thing that she has devoured is The Period Book. She enjoyed it so much that dh read it too. (He received zero education on this subject ~ but being the father of 3 girls, he figured he'd better get up to speed). She's only 10 but so far it seems to mean alot to her that he's interested in the subject & will talk about it.

Originally posted by ~Denise~
How old was your daughter when she started her period?

I only have boys so I'll talk about myself. I was 12.

How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?

I was pretty happy. It seemed like such a competition to see who would get it first, so I was relieved. I even knew girls who lied about it.

What does she prefer to use, supply wise?

I used Maxithins. My dad had said no tampons, but got overruled when I got my period the morning of the 4th of July swim party. Started with Tampax, switched to Playtex and sometimes o.b. I have to say as a teen I would have been too embarrased to use cloth or a Keeper, so don't take it personally if she prefers disposables.

What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?

I was a heavy bleeder; I could go through a super plus tampon and a pad every hour on my heavy days. It was tough trying to change between each class. I would also leak, so I always had a sweatshirt with me.

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?

I was, and for my brothers too. Eventually I got over it.

Anything else I need to know?!?

Trust your daughter if she says she got it. My mom looked at my panties and then made me lie down while she looked at my vulva. Talk about embarrassing! Also, I hated being told "You're a woman now" by my grandmother. In general I wan't a woman; American girls get their periods so early. I was a girl with a functioning reproductive system.

AKA Give me some support and ideas and whatever the hell else here...I think *I* am having a harder time with this than she is...but I really do not want to be. Sigh.


(((hugs)))

Kimberly

Kimberly! I am so sorry. I'd be mortified! Your Mom checked your undies and vulva???? :eek: I'd not be thrilled at all. )o:

Denise,

Here is the link to the thread I posted when dd started hers in December at age 11.

Search "menarch" for lots of great resources for girls!

ETA the link!

http://www.amitymama.com/vb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=211978

Haven't started here yet, and she's 13.5. I have been reading up on women's reproductive health and they think that the longer until the first menarch the less chance of female cancers later in life.

Em is looking forward to it, will use pads and has some ready to go LOL. No cloth here.

I was fine with it when I got mine, my parents are very pragmatic. No biggie. I didn't want a deal made out of it.

Moody? Heck yea she's a moody little gal :) but I'll have two of them in 10 years so I'm trying to appreciate just one LOL

Originally posted by ~Denise~
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?

Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?



Hey Denise,
Just drawing from my own experience as a teen. I was really pissed at my mother for telling my father. Ask your dd if it's ok to share with her dad. I was embarassed, very private, and wanted to be in denial about it all.

Originally posted by ~Denise~
Your Mom checked your undies and vulva????

Woah. How messed up is THAT?!

Originally posted by ~Denise~
Kimberly! I am so sorry. I'd be mortified! Your Mom checked your undies and vulva???? :eek: I'd not be thrilled at all. )o:

It's practically beyond belief, isn't it? I have no idea why she wouldn't have trusted me, but she's like that. She's horrible at respecting boundaries and I've had to really set limits with her as an adult.

Peace,

Kimberly

Welp, we made it through. I posted this because yes, my dear Chelsie started her period, hence my starting this thread. :o

This is hard for me since I was never treated "well" when I started my period. I was tossed lovely comments about "being on the rag now, don't turn into a ***** like your Mom" and "Come here, let me see if you have tits yet"....:( :mad: By the same man supposedly acting as my "father" figure, who also sexually molested me...and later his own daughter. Anyhow.....

These past few days have gone well. Chelsie has had no questions. I prepared her with several books, including the Period one, the American Girl one, and this one....

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0152026444/qid=1106206349/sr=1-16/ref=sr_1_16/002-8540130-9188866?v=glance&s=books

I had a box of stuff for her...waiting. I started my period when I was 11, so was thinking she would too. When she was 12, I started collecting....thinking anyday now. LOL. She is exactly 13 1/2 now, and just started. I gave her the box of stuff....she loved it. In it?

Various disposie pads to try out, liners too

2 boxes of different brands of teen sized tampons

2 "wet" bags to carry a wrapped, used pad in in case of no garbage can to use

a special book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0967344905/ref=ase_firstmoonpassagt/002-8540130-9188866?v=glance&s=books)

A red toned beaded bracelet and earring set

A Dancing Goddess WAHM goddess doll, large size, to honor her first period. Got the goddess representative of life and for this occassion

A WAHM tunny rice pack, for cramps

2 bottles of medicine, lol. One Pamprin and one Midol, for cramps, bloating, etc. if needed

Ummm, I think that was all. LOL. Oh, no, wait a goddess shaped soap and a set of washies in a monkey print...her fave. LOL.

I am going to get her a calendar to use for keeping track of this, so she is not surprised and un-prepared. Though I kind of wonder, since some experience such showing and then no showing with a newly aquired period. May be some time before she is more regulated I know.

She has not asked me any questions, nor seemed to have any problems this week. I was waiting, but she seemed just fine! We did go to the book store today, to get her a new book she needed...I picked up 2 more period type/growing up books. I handed them to her and she turned red and smiled, saying she had all the info and books she needed. LOL.

Thank you all for sharing your stories, experiences and more!

:heart: It has honest too goodness made so much of a difference for me, thus for her. Thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!

P.S Chelsie is still rather ooked out on the use of cloth pads. LOL. She seems to want no part of having to rinse or wash anything like "that"....

We shall see. But for now it seems to be disposie pads.

Just wanted to add my .02 worth.

Dylan was 13 when she started, Kiah was barely 12 just 6 months later when she started hers.

It was very casual around here when they started. Neither one of them wanted any sort of celebration or ceremony. (which bummed me out, but hey - its not my life, right?) I did buy them nice purses to put their supplies in at school and such. Dylan also got a nice pair of garnet and moonstone earrings.

They were both mildly 'embarassed' but not so much in an "I don't want anyone to know" way, but in a "Don't make a big deal about it." way. lol.

Both choose to use disposable pads now. Kiah used some of my cloth pads one time when we were out of hers, but she was really icked out. She is afraid to wear them to school because she thinks they will leak (despite the fact that when I had periods they were terribly heavy and I never had a leak...) and she does not want to have to carry around dirty pads in her backpack or locker, even though I assure her that a small wet bag is all she needs. Thats okay though. I can understand. We live in a very white bread community so the idea of cloth pads at school has got to be way out there. I buy the organic cotton ones for them because I cannot stand the idea of my babies putting commercially bleached paper and who knows what all else on their bodies. blech.

---How old was your daughter when she started her period?

I don't recall the exact time - but it was about 1/2 year later than I started mine... so 12.5-13 years old.

---How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?

She was a little embarrassed because I made such a big deal out of it. I wanted to have a 'red party' for her and really do something special. She felt that was too much and I respected her decision about that. We agreed to have a 'girls night out' to dinner where she chose 1 friend and I chose 1. I picked my mom. I let the girls get silly drinks (virgin drinks) and they really had a good time.

---What does she prefer to use, supply wise?

She REFUSES to use cloth pads! Which is weird because we use cloth toilet-'paper'. So I buy disgusting disposable pads and let her know how I feel about them and the risks associated with them. I am really disturbed by tampons, but she really likes them. I try to discourage it as much as I can, but hey - she is her own person and old enough to make her own decisions.

---What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?

I think she has a good attitude about it. She does get weepy and cranky with PMS and I am gentle with her during those days... that way she can be gentle with me during my days.

---Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?

LOL! She said "Don't tell Dad" as if she was embarrassed, but then the minute he came home that say she smiled and said "Daddy! Guess what!". So I think that she was embarrassed but proud too. And I'm glad the pride over-ruled. She should feel good about being a "woman".

---Anything else I need to know?!?

Be positive about the whole thing. Women have a tendency to view menstuation as a negative... but really... it is the very core of LIFE itself, right? It is what makes us women - powerful, life-giving women! It is a gift and should be taken as such. And (yeah, yeah, yeah, I am a big complainer about my period!) also shed light on the realism of it. It is difficult to deal with - cramps, pms, the hassle of pads... but it is just a part of our lives.

Oh - and LISTEN to what she has to say about it all. The last thing you would want is for her to shut down and not open up to you about it.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU - AND HER!

Hmmm, this thread is making me think of the huge differences in girls as people and how they handle things. I remember when I started mine. I was excited - exhilarated even. i felt all grown up. I was 13. I wasn't embarassed. My sister, however, was almost 12. She was absolutely mortified. She was/is a tomboy and not at all excited about the prospect of womanhood or even being a girl for that matter. She got angry and defiant and seemed to be in denial about it. :( I think both responses were normal - just different strokes for different folks. The one thing I would say every mom should remember is to RESPECT your daughter's choices. If doesn't want cloth pads - well, she doen't. kwim? My mom REALLY didn't want me to use tampons so she just avoided the subject and never taught me how or gave me a choice. Then once, I was at my dad's house for the weekend and started for maybe the 3rd time or so. I didn't have pads but the friend I had with me had tampons. So. I had no choice. I had no relationship with my new stepmom and was embarrased to ask for her help - So... I went in the bathroom with a tampon I didn't know how to use and cried for 45 minutes trying to figure it out. It got stuck (b/c I had no idea what I was doing) and really hurt. I was afraid to call my mom for help because I thought she'd be mad about the tampon use. So anyway - the point is... communication and repect go a long way! :) Good luck, mama!

Jo