Here it is... My dad, Frank, inherited the house and it became legal just 10 days ago. I was informed that he is selling it today. We can't buy it... it is a $307K house. (that is what it got appraised at) There are terrible things about this and then there are REALLY terrible things about this.

Terrible things: The souless freak I call my dad has decided not to tell me until the last moment. He has not even told me yet... I found out via the estate lawyer and now the rental agent. I don't know what to think about that. The man is coming back as a slug... I swear to god. I feel like cursing each and every penny he gets from this house and making it all voodoo like... that would feel good, but the Karma would suck.

I can't really move right now, Don is in the middle of job applications at like four different places. That would throw everything off.

I can't really afford to go anywhere either. Becuase my credit is so bad that would mean that we would have HUGE deposits on everything. I have spent the better part of the last two years keeping above water by only paying half of my bills each month. Since Don was out of a job for two months in Jan and Feb of 2004 this has been that way. With the money we got from the inheritance (which we have had for three weeks) we have JUST gotten out of debt, paid up our bills, and started new. We ahve $2K in the bank right now, which we are saving for me to get a car (I am still driving my step dads 1981 Subaru) We can't afford to move and all of the deposits etc... we JUST got out of the deep water of debt, and started making it again.

We would have to get rid of our pets. Espically the dog WHICH MY A$$ FOR A FATHER APPROVED!!!!!

Things that are REALLY terrible. Alex is doing SO well in school this year... and the only reason we are able to stay in this area is because we have an apt in the basement that we sublet to bring our rent to a reasonable rate. We can't afford anything in this area, and that would mean he would have to change schools AGAIN... he is only in third grade folks. The thought makes me cry... He is finally doing well... you know?

This is my family home... My grandma and grandpa bought this house in the 1940's and someone in our family has lived here all but 7 years since. I learned to walk here... as did Frank (my bio dad)... and he is selling it out of spite.

This is not all that he got from the inheritance. There is $425K worth of art that is being sold off next month and that money is being split between the sisters and brother... meaning Frank gets a 1/3 of that. Does he NEED to sell this house... NO. He is getting over $100K cash on his own... But he is doing it anyway.

Why is this man doing this?? I don't understand why he could be so soulless as to sell a house out from under his OWN DAUGHTER! He used to at least try to be human... now I feel like once again I have been dropped on my head. I don't know why I am so hurt... this is the same man that sent me to live in Michigan with a sister who was going through a divorce just so he could get out of paying my mom child support, which led me to living on the street because my sister moved to another state and I had no where to go. He has always been skum... but this is just too much... and it hurts so bad. I think why it hit me so hard is becuase I did not have any relationship with him at all before this. I didn't need it... my uncle owned the house and my aunt helped with it, and I never asked for anything from them besides occasional understanding about being 5 days late on rent or somesuch... Never even asked for special treatment or anything... rented through a rental co and everything. And now having him own it... having him attached so painfully to so much in my life and allowing him to uproot me again... well... THAT really hurts. Him having the power to make me cry like this... THAT hurts.

I really hurt guys... things are going so well... WHY would he do this? We were just getting started on our lives. I don't understand... why would he do this?

Val, would he let you rent to own? Or rent for now, and consider buying later? I guess I am asking if you sat down with him, would he be more considerate? I am assuming not since he didn't bother telling you he even was selling! :confused:


Can you find another home in that area to rent? A smaller home? Or apartment even, for now? At least for your son and school?

Or if you must move, how about asking for a school excuse, and being allowed to continue in the same school? Move to a close by city? If cheaper? Most schools will allow this, but you provide transportation, of course. Kwim?

That really must feel icky...I can understand wondering why family isn't more, well, family-like. :o :(

If none of above, would your Mom give you a loan? Or another family member? Maybe one who got money from this? If they could draw up a loan with you? But then I can imagine payments on a loan for that house amount. Yikes.

I do wonder though, would your dad consider a loan for you to buy the home, and maybe make smaller payments now and larger later when you go back to work? Unless you plan on dh making enough to cover a loan like that...? If not, and you are planning to work later, would your dad consider a low payment loan for now, and upped payments later?

Regardless, that is a costly price he is asking unless your income is over $80,000 or so. I know yours could be, but speaking for me/us, we could not swing payments for a loan of $307,000.

Sitting down with him is what I started with. Know what he told me?

"Well honey... I want you to know you are not my last priority."

WTFinghelldoesthatmean?

What I said "Well thanks Papa... I would hate to be your "last priority"."

lol...

talking with him is a joke... his wife is seriously demented... and I don't say that lightly... she ripped up my room one time when she was upset with me when I was 12 and for the most of childhood she would tell me that her cronic migrains were a force of my moms bad energy that I brought with me when I visited. I spent many an hour waiting for them to pick me up sitting by my moms kitchen window just so they would call and say that Terry had a headache again and so they could not make it because my mom was sending negative energy again. She had crystals all over the house that she would have to 'wash' each time I left because of my mothers energy... I lived that way for years... thinking I brought the bad energy along with me and feeling guilty. When I moved in with them, with in weeks they had gotten me my own apt at 14 years old and all I had to do was "pay for my own food"... needless to say I ended up 70 some lbs at 15 and my dad was forced to move me back into his house, which by my 16th birthday he kicked me out by picking me up at school with my stuff in a van and Terry saying how "relieved they were to get this negative thing (ME) out of their house". I haven't really seen them since. He even debated NOT coming to my wedding. The woman is evil and the man is not much better. He has no soul.

Terry is a f*cking whack job... and it was just a matter of time before she got to him. I am just sorry about it... and it hurts that they have the power in my life to make me feel so betrayed. I never thought it would happen again. You know?

Love Val

Wow. That sucks. What an evil, evil man. I am so sorry for you. I hope their karma gets them soon.

Val,

I am so so sorry. I don't know what to say, but I am thinking positive thoughts for you. (((hugs))) You are such a sweet mama.

Steph

There is a house for rent off boulevard, if you drive down boulevard you will see it. Just thought I would add that since it is in your district. I can't even think of apartments in that district. There are some duplexes on the street right beside the high school, can't remember the name of it, runs between north and carlyon, and I noticed a for rent sign up there today. They rent very reasonably, my brother lives in one and he doesn't have good credit either (due to tickets).

Sorry your dad is a turd :mad:

Val I'm so sorry
I hoped after reading about your inheritance that things would be better for you,
Could you maybe go to an aunt or uncle with a plea to 'keep the house in the family' ?
I wish you good luck mama
anni

I'm so sorry, Val. What a jerk. :(

Wow. That whole story is so traumatic, Val. I am so sorry.

Perhaps I am looking too far in the future, as you don't know what you are going to do yet, but perhaps this way you can get away from him and her, and all the sadness and hurt they cause, for once and for all.

(((hugs)))

Val I am just so sorry.

I wish all the evil people that are so called parents and siblings could live together and wallow in their evilness.

And then the rest of us could be carefree.

I am just so sorry. You'll be in my thoughts.

I am so sorry Val. I hope there is a silver lining in all this that will become apparent at a later date.

that is so sad and disappointing. In some ways mama, though, I would be almost relieved to cut ties and move on. It is hard to see your family home sold but I am sure even harder to have let him back into your life to some degree and then have him treat you this way. I would be totally honest with him and tell him how much he has hurt you and that you will be out of his life once and for all once you move out. Also, I would find out your rights as a renter because I would think you would have to have at least 30 days notice or some such. Find out your rights and hold him to at least that long to allow you to find another place to live. Then go beat the streets for a new place and maybe you will have to wait on the car and use the 2,000 for now for deposits and such. Hopefully you can find an affordable place in the same school district or at least get your kids through the year there and then find another good school. Although you have every right to your hurt, anger, fear of the unknown and frustration, my best advice to you is your attitude about changes in your life is what matters most to your kids. You and dh and their home that you create (wherever that may be) is their rock. We have moved by choice about 8-9 times in 11 years of marriage and our kids have not suffered for it at all as far as I can see. It has been an adventure to them. I know stability is nice but so is something new! So try to keep upbeat about moving as much as you can and show your kids how to deal with unexpected things head on and I really do feel it will all work out in the end. Positive thoughts to you mama.- Josie

Hey Val,

I am sooooo sorry for your stress and anxiety! What a horrible situation.
I can't believe that you have such a man for a father--
maybe that is why you are such a happy, generous spirit. Everytime I read your posts I feel inspired. I think that you must have been made stronger growing up with that crazy woman and an unsupportive Dad. If anything--at least that is a positive?
Sorry---I know I'm not helping--but that is truly the first thing that came to my mind when I read your post.

Yes, you should look into Landlord Tenant Law.

Let's see, if they are going to show it with you in it they have to give 1 day notice:
Landlord's Access to the Rental
The landlord must give the tenant at least a two-day notice of his intent to enter at reasonable times. However, the law says that tenants must not unreasonably refuse to allow the landlord to enter the rental where the landlord has given at least one-day's notice of intent to enter at a specified time to show the dwelling to prospective or actual purchasers or tenants.

Any provision in a rental agreement which allows the landlord to enter without such notice is not valid under the law.


Also, if you have a lease, I'm not sure they can sell it and make you move until the lease is up. The new owner's may have to let you stay:
If the Property is Sold
The sale of the property does not automatically end a lease or month-to-month rental agreement.

When a rental unit is sold, tenants must be notified of the new owner's name and address, either by certified mail, or by a revised posting on the premises.

All deposits paid to the original owner must be transferred to the new owner, who must put them in a trust or escrow account. The new owner must promptly notify tenants where the deposits are being held.

Our duplex sold while we were living in it and the lease just carried over to the new owners and they kept renting to us for the same amount.

WA has a really good info line you can call and listen to recordings. I used it when we had to deal with a dead beat landlord. You call (800) 692-5082
You type in the number of the topic you want. I'm not sure which one selling falls under, but I'm sure it is under one of them.
Landlord/Tenant

600 Landlord's responsibilities
601 Tenant's responsibilities
602 Deposits
603 Repairs: Requirements of the law
604 Raising the rent and other changes in the rental agreement
605 Evictions
606 Lockouts, shut-offs and other illegal actions
608 Rights of all tenants
609 How to find a place to rent
610 Rental listing agencies
611 Notice to Leave: Ending rental agreements and leases
615 Notice to Leave: Repair disputes and condo conversions
612 Leases and rental agreements: What is the difference?
613 Leases and rental agreements: Before you sign
614 Abandonment

Thank you Allison... Thanks everyone. I am not sure where to go from here... there is a rental on Moore street... (only Allison is going to know about where that is) which is only 4 blocks from here. It is nice enough, and I am thinking about just giving in. There has been so much pain and so much healing done in this house in the last few years that I feel bad to just let it go... but maybe that is what has to happen. We would have to get rid of our dog... that sucks... but we would still be in the same neighborhood, same school district, etc.

What I want to do: I want to call him (I asked my aunt for his phone number tonight) but I am not sure if I have the guts to do it. I did not have his phone number, e-mail address, or address before tonight. This is the fourth time he has moved with out letting me know... and whatever... if this was not happening it would have bugged me, but it would not have mattered that much. But now it seems like I should know... unless he really is selling it, and does not want the confrentation. Which is what he is avoiding... and most likely the reason he has not told me yet. He is just avoiding responcibility. Which is like the THEME for his life. It is SO sad to watch a 57 year old man avoid responcibility like a 15 year old kid. So sad... But that is his life... and nearly every story that I could tell you about him would be about how he was avoiding responcibility. So I want to call him... make it clear I will not sign anything, or pay him anything until I know what the hell is going on with the house. If he IS planning on selling it this spring, I expect at least 60 days notice and laps in rent... where I do not have to pay so we can move and not have it effect our welbeing. I expect that... the ******* is getting $400K out his brothers death... the least he can do is give up two months rent. If that is ALL I get, at this point I will sever all ties with him (which seems like what he wants anyway) and live my life. I will even take his pictures down off the walls... no negative energy will come from this house anymore... he will be free of it, and of me. And I think we will both be better for it. Sad, but true... I may write him an email first... I don't know... what do you think? Should I call him out of the blue when he does not even know I know his phone number? Or would a short curt letter be better?

Love Val and thanks for all your support and hugs. :heart:

I am now the "current occupant"... He does not even mention in the letters to the rental place that I am his only kid. Ugh...

Should I just cut and run?? I am going to look at a house tomorrow at 11am... in this neighborhood no less... but it is available like now... and I don't know if I want to move right now... but I also don't know if I want to miss being able to get a house in this neighborhood if we can. We would still have to get rid of our dog... but a good friend is thinking of taking him, and said we could get him back if we wanted to after we found a house that would take him. That seems like the best plan. Should I just cut and run?? I just want it to be over. He still has not called or written or anything... and don't have the guts to start something like that.

Love Val

Adria! Those are some BEAUTIFUL babies sister! They look SO healthy! You are absolutly AMAZING!

Val, do you know anything??? I mean is anyone telling you that he is selling now, or has any other relative told you anything??? I can't believe he has not contacted you at all!!! :rolleyes:

Family does not owe us anything, they don't have to even be kind...but geez, this is wrong to not even keep you updated on his plans! How can YOU make plans w/o knowing his???

And I say family does not owe us anything kinda tongue in cheek...it is true, they don't owe us. But it sure would be nice if all families did support one another more, etc. I know my own family has said this same thing..."We don't owe you anything"...True, but what a ****ty attitude in most cases.

I know I will never be "like that" towards my kids. I just can't understand it. :(

Well, I haven't heard all of what has been happening Val. First of all I am *so* sorry that your father is hurting you like this. Talk about negative energy, he and his partner in crime should look in a mirror (if they make reflections).

The first question I would ask myself, if I were in your shoes, is what is more important - staying or leaving. If staying is more important then I would get a lawyer and sue him for breech of contract. If he said he wasn't going to sell the house then that is often viewed as a verbal contract and as legally binding. There is always letting the rest of the people who inherited from the estate that he is selling the place. Though they may not fight for you to stay in it, they would fight for their piece of the sale value.

If you want to be rid of him and all the pain it will bring up, then get the other place. Take the pictures down and send them to him in an emvelope torn up and consider him dead.

I was raised with the idea that if you couldn't talk your way out of something to fight as dirty as you can. It's not fun, but it works.

Val,

I am so sorry hon.
I know you are hurting.
I do not have the best of situation with my family.
Dh's father left him before he was born and can not even take two minutes to speak with him on the phone.
I know it hurts when the people around us that we think should be there/want them to be there are not.

Best of luck to you.
I know it is bleak now, but you mentioned earlier having such mixed feelings about living in this house.
I think things are really going to turn around for the positive for you.
Your 'father' is missing out on having an incredible daughter.
With your strength I know you will pull your family through this and be stronger for it.
:big hug:



Hope

:( {{{{Hugs}}}} I am so sorry you are all going through this! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers{{{{More Hugs}}}}

I had this long post written out but my computer just shut down... Don needs to wipe the hard drive again because we have viruses badly... it just needs to be wiped.

Back to the story at hand... I can't sit and talk with him. He lives somewhere in Georiga. And I don't even know where. I am afraid to call him because he is so afraid of confrentation that he will hurt me by not talking to me, or his wife will answer the phone and that will just totally throw me off, and I will hang up, etc. I think my next step is to see this new house... talk to the lady about it... and then call the lawyer on monday. She knows what is up, and she will be able to give me the best picture of anyone in this situation. Because after all she has to know what is going on. No curt letters yet... no. But dam... I feel like just throwing stones. He has even gone so far as to make this seem like a hostile take over where he makes a list of all the things that are wrong with the estate, and then charges us for them (My aunt or me depending on what the damage is) and we have 30 days to fix them, etc. That is in the law... and it would be no big deal IF HE WAS F-ING HUMAN ABOUT IT.

I have been doing a lot of ritual clearing. I am getting nearly everything out of the house that reminds me of not only Frank, but my ex dh and other old relationships that were or have become toxic. If I have to move out of this house, I am CLEARING... KWIM? All negative memories, or anything that brings up negative memories are going. Even my old journals and old photo books are going I think... I may have a big ritual fire and burn them... That has to be here, and it has to be with the two friends that I have worked through all of this family crap with. So it has to be done soon...

I have made a pact with myself that I am not keeping anything I don't LOVE. And I am not buying anything I don't LOVE. If I love it, I can spend money on it. Last week I felt so silly... I went to Ross and got myself new clothes for the first time in years. It felt great. But then I found this bag... it is brown and pink and all retro, and I LOVED it. But it was a bag... and it was $14.99. The last time I spent $15 on a bag I was moving across the country in 1996. lol... But I got it... the small duffle one, but I bought it anyway. I brought it in, got my old duffle out, and put it in the Goodwill pile. And I felt SO great about it. I don't know why... Perhaps it was because the old duffle I had had many sad memories and this one was a shopping trip with my dh filled with love and pampering. I don't know... but after that I really started thinking about stuff, and getting rid of stuff, and I have been doing it for nearly a week. I have 7 paper bags in my dining room right now, labeled with friends that I have borrowed stuff, or I am handing down stuff, or stuff has been left here, and it is all going back to them. I also have a HUGE pile of Goodwill stuff there and one in the garage too... and I got my dads (my REAL dad, you know the one who talks to me. :) ) truck and am taking it to Goodwill this next week. The kids rooms are next... and Alex's in paticular, because that is the room I was in when Frank lived here, and it needs some clearing and some love.

I am doing the work. Some days I just cry a lot and say "Why doesn't he love me" like I did when I was 12, but some days I get like this... Proactive and positive. Both are needed. I am doing the work. :heart:

Love Val

PS I was thinking also about stories... you know there are stories that you tell over and over about how your life was, and although they are not completely inacurate, they are devoid of most of the feeling for you, that it invokes in the people who hear the story. It brings up emotions for them, but not for you. Does anyone know what I am talking about? This is a process I have been stuck in for year with Frank and the life that he and I had... I would tell stories about how he hurt me, and because I didn't feel anything telling the story I would say things like "it was alright" or "I am over it". I gotta tell you, I am FAR from over it. I was just over the story

It is hard to go back and think about some of the messed up things about Frank and his wife with out just slipping on one of these stories where I feel nothing. But in the last few days I have really broken through some of that and I have started remembering the life and not just the story. It has brought up TONS of emotions for me, and it has been a strange experience realising how much was still there. How many times I felt guilt about getting school clothes because I knew my mom spent 'child support money', or how they would sit and talk and the refridgerator would turn on and that would be an affermation of whatever point they were trying to make, or it would affirm a decision they were dabating. No kidding... the refridgerator turning on for YEARS reminded me of them. Because it was such a huge factor of their lives. And just in the last few days I have realised what that meant in their lives... They could not even take responsibility for validating their own arguments... the FRIDGE did it for them. I have just been reliving some of that stuff and thinking about it all. And really feeling it. And I hope that at least, if I can not get this house, I can create my own closure with it and this whole situation. Because I think that closure is what I need most... houses come and go, and this one is great, but so are others around here, and we can get one. I have to accept it may not be this one. And that what I need is MY house, not A house. But I need the closure that this house is creating... and I am sort of grateful... and I know in years to come I will be more grateful... cuse right now, this is good, but it HURTS.

My life from age 4-18 was filled with various types of abuse from my parents and an uncle, my parents divorce, and a stepmother and father that sound to familiar to your own. I dealt with such a hellish existence for so long that I became accustomed to it and numb enough that it allowed me to be without feeling.

I thought I was over it to until I had kids and realized that I am way overprotective and paranoid with what might happen to them and seeing Gabe reach the age that I was when I was sexually abused for the first time made the flood gates open and all my emotions wash over me because I had never realized just how young and vulnerable I was when the abuse started until seeing him at that age.

It has been 3 years and 2 months since I have talked to my father or stepmother and we live only about 10 miles from one another. It is nice to have the constant stress out of my life and through counseling and mostly cranio sacrat therapy I have been able to overcome much of the hurt from my past.

I say dump the house and move on but that is just my 2 cents. That house is going to have hurt in it now from this situation and you don't need that. Sometimes whashing ourselves clean of everything associated with someone that hurts us is the best medicine.

Good luck:big hug:

Bobbi jo... that is exactly what I am feeling like. But then for me there are moments where I am out of the story, and really seeing what some of these things meant for me as a kid... and I am able to articulate and quantify that, even if it is just in a journal writing to myself... Just looking back and being able to see it for what it was, and not what it felt like at the time. For that to happen I have had to accept that I may have done something wrong in a situation... and not be so in my story that I just tell it like they were the abusers and I was the abused (and those are the only characters). When I step out of my story, and I tell it like we were all just people then I begin to see what was really wrong... and over the last few days opening myself up to being 'wrong' in these situations has been hard, but really good... because I closed the feelings up on those stories because I thought just maybe they may have seen something (that I did) that could have caused them to treat me this way. Now I am looking from the perspective of having my own children, and seeing the things they deal with and how little they are, and I just think "I did not have responcibility for ANY of that... because I was a BABY, a CHILD and no child has that kind of control"... nor should they be put in a position of power over the adults in their lives who are suppose to guide them. Being able to see it from that point of veiw has been opening me up to feeling it all... and I feel really raw right now... but this time (at least for most of the stories) when I am done, I have actually healed because I know what part of this process belongs to me, and what I had control over... and I am not just the victim. Does that make sense?

I am treating me (through looking back) as they should have... a child and a whole person too. (I never got either of those from either of my parents, I was always the one in the wrong, and always had the control... I don't know if they gave me too many choices, or if I was really as unruly as they say, but I could not have been that bad... I never even did drugs, not even in highschool... so I come back to... I was not that bad... so it couldn't be all my fault.)

:vent: :sob: ;pop: :p :rolleyes:

I have NO idea if I am making any sense to any one but me now... I do tend to get to conclusions through the act of writing or talking. But I think I am just ranting on now in to the void... lol...

Love Val

Alex is at the age I was right now when my parents had their first court battle over me. The first time I was pulled to choose between them... the fight was over when I turned 14 and Frank won... that is 6 1/2 years of me being dragged through mud for the sake of my fathers bank account. And the abuse did not stop until I was sent to live in MI and then Frank moved from this house to Eureka, CA with out telling me.

With out my knowledge, he signed me over to the state of WA and I was a ward of the court. I was living in my car in MI. No one from the WA state court knew where I was or what had happened... he never told them that I had moved out of his house. I was 17 and pregnant. That was the first time I said that he would never have this control over my life... and this is the last. I am finally in a place of power where I can say with conviction...

He will never have this control ever again.

Love Val

PS My heart breaks for any one else who has a story like mine or Bobbi Jo's. :sob: :rub: :eyes: :hug: :shake: :mad: :(

it is time to just go.

You keep packing stuff and tossing out and cutting away all the dead weight, but nothing will get better until you just let this last big thing go.

I would move and start over right away.

:( Val, I'm with the others. Treat yourself as you deserve to be....now and forever. Move on hon.

:hug: Val. I wish I were there in person, from here anything I say seems so inadequate.

I wish I could wrap you up in a big hug. I completely understand everything you wrote, and I'm so sorry that you are hurting. What a wrong situation for anyone, let alone someone as sweet and good-intentioned as you.

After reading everything you wrote, I would just cut all ties and start over. Just as you have create meaningful rituals for clearing your house, so too can you create wonderful rituals for beginning your lives in a new house and with new energy. Put your focus there - you have it in you.

Tara

:big hug:

I have decided that Frank is dying as my father on Feb 2nd (Imbolc). I don't think that he will die for me as a person... but I do think that the father part of him is dead... and has been for a long time, and it is time for that door to shut in my life. It is time for me to have closure. So I am writing a letter to him. A letter that most likely will just be part of the ritual of his death. (No I am not vodoo killing him or anything... basically I am symbolically releasing him from the responcibility in my mind of being my father) This letter I am going to burn, in this house, on Imbolc.

A letter talking about all of the gifts I am thankful for that he has given me, a letter that talks about pain, but places little blame beyond the fact that for most of his influence in my life I was an innocent. A letter that talks about the both of us as people... and the fact that there may be other areas in his life in which he distributes passion, caring and love. And this is just not one. And that for me is not something I am willing to have power over me anymore. A sad, but needed goodbye. A goodbye that leaves us both free to do what we have to do... and if he sells this house I will leave. I will not fight, and I will not act like he needs to do me any favors. For my father is dead. Frank is just the man who owns my house.

I spent so much of my life believing he was a god... thinking that he was the one who was right because he was more asthetically pleasing and less tempermental than my mom. I now know that although my mom is a little nuts... she IS my mom... she loves me and cares about me. I know this through the actions that have not been tainted by her temper... the love she shows my children, and the caring she puts into trying to be there for me the best she can be, regardless of the hell she creates with some of her best intentions. lol... Frank has never shown me that compassion. He can not create something that is not inside of him, and it is unfair of me to expect that. So I am releasing him... and thanking him for all of the beauty... for my strong body, and my keen mind... for my ability to see all sides, and for my ability to hold my cool when needed. For the blonde hair, and the long, lean figure... for the life I was born into that allowed me to stay married to a man so different because I saw the beauty in many different lives though my parents when I was young. For the years he was my father, and the time he tried. And I release him...

For I will not miss him, I will only miss the man I wanted him to be.

Love Val