The boys have me pulling out my already white hair today. They are fighting over *everything* they possibly can. As we speak, they are in separate rooms to give me a chance to chill out. So, any ideas on a creative "punishment" that promotes sharing? Have you tried it? Does it work? Help!!!!!

Mine are younger so maybe your kids are past this but for playdates we use:

set a timer to take turns

if can't share then that toy goes into time out on top of the entertainment center where both kids can see the toy & neither can play with it (my top shelf is full of toys - they stay up there for days until requested again)

i dont' know about punishment - but when my kids fight over toys (today i have mine, 4.5 , two 3y's and a my 17mo) we set the timer. Each child gets 5 minutes with the toy, then when the timer 'dings' they must pass it on to the next child and i set the timer again.

if its something like the rocking horse, i'll have them count to 20 rocks and then they have to get off and give the next child a turn

In my house, we try to go by this rule: whoever has it can play with it until he or she is done. I personally don't like the timer idea because it's so artificial. (If you have good seats in a movie theater, for example, the usher doesn't come to you halfway through the movie and tell you that you must switch with the people craning their necks in teh front row, beacuse it's their turn with the good seats.) The child who does not have the coveted toy therefore has to choose from what's available. Edited to add: the child with the prize is encouraged to let his friend/sibling have a turn, however. We often say "friends take turns, and it would be nice if you could be a good friend and share that when you're done."

If the crying/screaming/fighting is getting out of control, however, I hold the authority to cancel the above "rule" and put the toy on top of the refrigerator. I have to worry about my own sanity too!

That's just my house, though, and I know lots of moms go by the timer idea.

Michelle

I agree with Michele. As much as possible, I try to follow the Montessori methods in my home. Montessori believed that using the timer and forcing children to share was basically the same as telling them that you don't respect them to respect what they are doing.

If Bren has a toy that is a community toy (most of our toys are), he is allowed to have it until he is done. If it is one of Ian's toys and he did not ask, however, then that rule is null since he did not respect his brother enough to ask, yk? If the toy or object belongs to him, we allow him to decide if Ian can play with it, but we do occasionally remind him that if he doesn't share with others, others are not as likely to share with him.

One thing I don't tolerate however is leaving an object only to vehemently insist that you were still playing with it as soon as the other child shows an interest, bathroom breaks and other stuff excepted, LOL.

I agree with Michelle as well we do not force sharing. Most of our toys are community toys and whoever is playing as long as no teasing is involved is allowed to continue playing until they are finished.