I am a step mom .. to 2 teenagers and a 10 year old.

The 3 girls that were living with us til my fiance finally decided to temorarily let them live with his Ex.. 1 because they were doing horrible things to get over there and 2 his health was suffering.

I have been cleaning their rooms so that we can move .. well i was finding letters EVERYWHERE!! and in places where they were extremely easy to find.

There were letters from The girls mother to the middle daughter, since she is the letter writer in the family. There were letters saying that she couldn't stay over at their grandmothers anymore because they were being horrible to her. The bad thing was that she was bad talking her grandparents but to their face she is the sweetest. She even called them by their given name instead of their special nicknames they gave them.

There were sicky sweet letters to her mother about how she couldn't wait to move to live with her and she hoped that she got to move to live with her, because we were horrible.

Then there were letters back to Kasey where her mother was being all sicky sweet back calling her her baby and telling her that she missed her baby and that she couldn't wait til the next weekend she had her over. Asking her what kind of fast food she wanted and that she would get her what ever she wanted and bring it to her at school.

The worst part about finding all these letters is that they were written almost a year ago, because they were in the closet in the middle bedroom which wasn't touched since 6 months before the girls moved to live with their mother. Which was just after thier mother had been to a lawyer and written up papers for a custody hearing .. which were then delivered months afterwards. I don't think that she would have gotten custody, but Kevin decided that he had had enough and allowed temporary custody, expecially since she had the children prepared to lie on stand and didn't want brittnay to say anything because she wouldn't lie.

While i have been here i have seen the gamit of letters from the I hate you letters , to the you don't care , you are mean to me, i'm a lesbian, my mommy is the only one that loves us , i want to move to my mommys , yall lie, ect ect ect. We also heard all that all the time too. Expecially when they were in trouble something to get the pressure off them and shift things .. even though it never worked.

Yah would think that i would used to finding and seeing these letters, but they still anger me so much. I feel very protective of the girls and seeing their mother play them like she has and hurt them without them seeing it.. it makes me mad.

Yes, we were a little but of "tough love" parents here. We made them do chores, do their homework, get in before dark, tell us where they were going. They got into trouble for not doing chores, getting bad grades or lieing about not having homework when they did, getting into trouble at school, not coming home at the time they were asked ( expecially if we had to go hunting for them and they were not where they were supposed to be). I don't think that we were being terrible to them. We picked and played with them, made sure they got some few extra food items they wanted, they got snacks everyday, they got to play on the computer and stay up later on the weekends.

Now that they are at their mothers we hear all sorts of things which we don't agree with. Their mother's mother is living in the same home with them, but their mother's girlfriend did move out because there was not enough room. Shortly before they moved their Mawmaw as they call their mother's mom, quit her job so that she could watch the girls. Then no more then a month after they moved there they were being left home alone a LOT. Kevin's mother asked about this and the girls mother said that Mawmaw just needed time alone. The girls complained that they were always going to the mall or walmart. The oldest which the girls mother was "worried about" was often left home alone completely. Their grandparents went by their house at a little after 9:30 pm Sunday evening which the next day was a school day and the oldest was home alone, the rest of them were out shopping.

The oldest is allowed to take the phone to bed with her so she can use it. When their computer worked she was allowed on it all the time and was not supervised. She has started calling people off the internet as well.

The oldest, Nichole, went over there and since she has died her hair black(bought by her mother and applied for her mother.. not to mention that kasey the middle daughter wants to follow her foot steps of course and was allowed to dye her gorgious blonde bangs black), peirced her eyebrow ( with parent permission from her mother and bought by her mother), peirced her nose, home peirced her ears for the second time (she was given permission by her MawMaw), she is guaging out her ears ( they are not about the guage of tounge studs , which they are now buying cause they are "cool " to wear. Nichole is also wearing almost all black. Both Nichole and kasey are allowed to write on themselves.

The girls have been telling us that there are ticks over there as well. And its not just once its been almost every weekend and the little girl that came over with Brittnay one time said that there were ticks over there and they were terrible. Their mother was telling them that they were bringing them in from outside, but that the dogs had them all over.

The youngest has gotten A's and B's her whole school career and has hardly ever gotten B's .. She got a C the last time.

Kasey got sick and got in ear infection so bad that she had Oxicodon, ear drops, and a super strong Antibiotic. Their mother gave her the bottles and was having her self medicate herself, she is 13. After about a month ago they came over here sick for almost 2 months every week they were sick and it went back and forth between them. I talked to their mother about it once and she said that she had gotten them dayquil and sat it on the counter for them to get when they would go to school, but they never took it. While they were with us every other weekend i would give them some over the counter cold meds and Vit C and by the end of the weekend they would be fine. She actually dropped off the youngest Brittany and she was coughing and sounded gruff and congested.. we could tell she was sick when we talked to her on the phone. After their mother dropped them off my fiance called her and talked to her for a while and told her that Brittany was extremely sick and that when she came home if she wasn't better she might need to take her to the doctor ( since she has medicaid on the girls so the doctor visit and meds would cost under $5). The girls were in bed by 8pm that night and they had gotten here at 7 pm!! They fell to sleep on the couch together and Brittnay was laying there sweating off and on .. and her head was hot. I had given them meds when they got here since i knew they were sick when they walked in the door. Since i have been here the girls were sick 2 times over 3 years when they were at our house. First time each of them and their father got the stomach flu. And the second time they came home from being with their mother and Kasey came home sick from going out after dark on the 4th of july when it was chilly with wet hair and no coat. The other 2 girls ended up getting the same congestion and what not shortly after, but it did not get as bad as kasey's cough and congestion. HECK !! My fiance has gotten Broncittis twice a year since as long as he can remember, but since i got down here he has not gotten it once in 3 years!!

They are also moving here soon so they will have been at the school they are at now for a whole half of a school year. They are moving 30 minutes and then once they move their mother's "partner" is moving in with them. ( with their confusion that they exibited after their mother brought this woman into their life i don't think that this is a good situation either. When the woman was first brought in they were kissing, hugging, holding hands, and sleeping in the same bed infront of the girls then their mother was telling them that they were just best of friends like sisters and room mates. My fiance tried to get her to sit down and have a talk with the girls, because we tried to tiptoe through the subject when we noticed the girls starting to be confused about their sexuality. They got angry and defensive that their mother was not gay. When she finally admitted that she was gay to my fiance she told him in her next breath that it was all his fault. Before Nichole knew that her mother was gay she was going through special classes at her grandparents church to get her second baptism and going to workshops, it took months and was a long drawn out process, then suddenly she didn't like the church and she wanted to be goth. She would not go to her mother's house for almost 6 months. More reciently Kevin's mother was talking to Nichole and asked her why suddenly she did not believe in god. She said that she didn't believe in him because none of the churches believed that it was right that her mom could have a partner and that god didn't listen to her about her dad. Her grandmother said well you prayed for your mom when she had cancer and she is okay now and she has outlived all the time frames doctors have given her. Nichole by then was having nothing to do with her dad and her grandmother had taken her into her home. )

There are so many things that are going on over there that i can see that their mother is trying hard to be a friend instead of a parent, i know that thats what the girls want is to only have to have fun and not have to do things, but i don't see the situation being benifitual to them. No, we don't do a lot of the things that they do over there , but why should be constantly have the girls out shopping, eatting out, going to concerts, and going to amusement parks. We just can't afford to do all that with 3 girls, i don't see how she can either when she was so poor before that she couldn't pay her small amount of child support when they were over here.

I guess i should just let it all go behind me and ignore it .. but it still hurts and i am so worried about the girls... my fiance is so worried but he tries not to show the girls because it goes straight back to their mother.

I seriously believe that their mother has done all of this to get back at Kevin, because shortly after finding out about me she became more pushy with the girls that if i wasn't arround that her and their dad would get back together. Then she tried to get back with Kevin before i moved in, telling him to forget about me and that she would take care of him. Then after i was moved in she tried once again telling him that he could have a 3some cause i was rather good looking. He told her that there was NO WAY that he was getting back with her and that even if something happened to me he wouldn't get back with her. He has told the girls repedatively that he isn't ever getting back with their mother. That is wasn't their fault that they broke up, but that he and their mother just could not get along so they had to stay seperated.

You obviously care about these girls a great deal. It sounds obvious to me that you and your fiance (girls' dad) should get the girls back pronto, and then only allow supervised custody with the mom after that. What is happening is terrible. The girls are lucky to have someone who cares about their long and short term well being as much as you do.

Well their mothers #1 reason for trying to get the girls was Kevins drinking which we are trying to get all his health issues under control before getting them back. When he went to a 3 month program for alchoholism .. she found out through the kids who were told to listen for that and we found out that he was going to be able to go 3 days before he was to leave on a saturday. The next day we had a policeman show up on our front portch with a summons to court for a custody hearing. In the papers they had been written up MONTHS before hand. She has known he drinks since she met him and knows that he is never violent, i think it is an excuse for her. She has temporary custody BTW .. given to her by kevin because of his physical health.

After my fiance went to the program and the girls were staying with me for a week and then grammie, because our heater broke.. his middle daughter was suspended from school for stealing .. my fiances mother found out that they had stolen all their christmas money along with other money that they had put in her care for her to save til the summer for them to use at the beach to go to an amusement park they had been wanting to go to.. they took it because their mother told them that she had no right to have their money cause it was theirs ( the youngest gave her money to her mother to pay for groceries because she could not afford them .. but she has been supposedly paid back according to her other sisters).. the oldest screamed and yelled at her grandparents ( i was at the house gathering up our animals so they would not get to cold) as to why they would not just let her go live with her mother like she wanted to.. then when the middle girl was suspended their grandmother with out asking me or my fiance let their mother take her .. i was bath anc forth between our house and my fiances mothers house .. as i went i met The girls mother and the middle girl going to our house.. the middle girl supposedly wanted to get her clothes to change .. which i had taken all their clothes over to their grammies.. well i waited for them to turn around because i dont trust their mother .. i watched them leave .. and then i went to their grandparents.. on the way there i met their grandparents on teh way to my house .. supposedly tehri grandfather wanted to look at the heater... when i walked in the house i knew that the girls mother had been in my house .. clean clothes from the laundry basket in the living room was thrown all over the couch and the floor .. the girls room had been riffled through .. i was IRRATE !! The girls grammie told me then that the girls mother had called them and told them that the house was a total mess and that there was animal s#!% all over the house. I will openly admit the house was a mess .. i had just moved the rabbits, cats, and bird with out cleaning up around the cages, but it wasn't like a HUGE mess .. it was like a few rabbit pellets bird seed and a feather in one room. and it was really messy after things were tossed all over the place like they were.. Then the girls mother and the middle girl pulled up .. and their mother got out and walked like she was going to come in .. I WAS SOOO MAD i could have screamed .. i didnt evn go out to talk to her i let my fiances mothers hubby talk to her and he kept her from coming back into the house by physically standing infront of her.. my fiances mother , which we call grammie most of the time, said she probubly came back to take pictures. Well the middle girl came in saying that they had come back to get her clothes so she didn't get into trouble for not bringing them back to their grandparents.. with her "i'm totally lying smug grin and nose itching thing".. on top of all that our dryer broke and our heater broke a heating element went out of our hot water heater.. my fiance had so much stress that he ended up after a month of being sober going into the hospital for pancritis for a week .. then he was told that because he was in the hopsital and had had Drugs that he would not be able to catch up on the program to go to the next level and would have to redo the initial program again .. which he would have to stay ther for another month for them to get it the next wave set up .. and then another month of initial program again and then 2 more months of the intense next level!! At that point he had had so much stress that he was about ready to loose his mind, he finally told them that he was sorry but that he was going to have to sign himself out because there were so many problems at home that he could not handle being here right now and that he was not in the right frame of mind to deal with the programs guidance. He needed to be home so he could try and get things back to normal. They tried to scare him into staying and even screamed and yelled at him like a 2 year old. He came home and stayed sober for over a month. After his mother constantly every time she saw him telling him he smelled like alchohol and looked terrible.. ect ect .. and all sorts of stuff going on with the girls. It was terrible. Then after the girls went to their mothers he started back to drinking.

Alot of the weird things that had happened over the last few months that were unusual became crystal clear. The girls wanting to go to their grandmothers.. and telling their grandmother terrible things for her to think that we were being abusive to them. Trying to get their father to quit making their mother pay childsupport because she was so poor. Then suddenly she started paying her childsupport plus to make up for past dues. Her girlfriend moved out of the trailor where she had been living with the girls mother and their mother's mother and the girls were not making comment as to why which is weird for them because they love to blab and you don't have to ask which we never asked about what went on over there. Their mother was doing more of going to school and bringing them what ever they wanted from fast food or what ever to eat a prize bag. She actually took the middle girl out of the school supposedly to have lunch under a tree to have time by themselves... most likely off of school property .. and then brought her back late to her next class .. and when the teacher got upset because she had not been able to find one of her students and then to find them .. and then to have their mother tell her ohh it was no big deal( Later the girls mother told the middle child that she was going to take her to the school and she was going on the last day of school totally b!%(# out her teacher because she was a horrible woman and did not diserve respect .. ect. ect.ect... this is the same teacher who i had visited with with the middle girl and she was always polite kind .. but the middle child had a BIG problem with her .. mostlikely because her older sister before the school year started told her that that teacher was the devil reincarnated and hated girls ECT ECT ECT .. and then the middle girl walked into the class room giving no respect talking back Ect .. my fiance and i were trying to get her to learn to take time to think before speaking .. take responsability for her actions.. say she was sorry when she was in the wrong not to mention admitting it.. we would talk over situations that would happen between her and her teacher and try to get her to look at both sides of the situation.. * sighs *.. when their mother did that it was like all that work was just flushed down the toliet) Getting the children to lie to Dss when they were mysteriously called for a "fight" between me and kevin which the girls were sent to their room when it started it was only 5 minutes we were on seperate sides of the room and that was the first fight in 2 years of living with each other that we had ever had, but yet that was child abuse *rme*( called in my an unknown caller.. but was not called in until my fiance was away at work .. HMmmmm interesting ).. then about a month later my fiances youngest started a fight with my fiance and was actually yelling at him calling him names and bringing up subjects which she as a child had no right to.. obviously it was planned to try and get my fiance angry to cause problems ..( but when he gets really angry he would never disipline the girls) because when they walked in from being dropped off by their mother they were whispering on the couch about a plan.. then the oldest said that she was going to run away and picked up her bag and went to walk out the door .. which my fiance stood infront of the door baring her access and said no .. and wanted to know why she was acting like she was .. she then started on a totally other tangent of screaming and yelling.. then when kevin went to get a drink of soda she made her move for the door again .. she actually opened the door and was trying to walk out side.. my fiance held her around her waist .. which she sat there and clawed him and hit and elbowed him.. pulling on the door.. SCreaming at the top of her lungs out the door that she was getting hurt and for come one to call 911 .. then The middle girl who had been oddly waiting right at the start of the hall suddenly Screamed that her dad was hurting her older sister and screamed that she was calling 911 .. while running through the living room and grabbing the phone and running for our bedroom to try and hide under the head of our bed.. she tripped over one of our cats in our room .. which allowed me to catch up with her and get teh phone and talk to her.. i reasured her that her dad was not hurting her sister and that it would be okay .. by the time me and the middle girl got back into the living room the oldest was sitting on the couch with the look from He** at my fiance.. of course at this time the oldest was living at grammies .. so i took her to her grandmothers and on the way i asked why she was so angry at her father suddenly when he loved her so much and she was trying to push him as far away as possible.. she did not say anything but when i said that her father loved her she broke into tears and cried the rest of the way to her grandmothers.. she then went upstairs .. i then told my fiances mother what had happened.. she was in TOTAL shock even though my fiance had called and told her about it.. by that time the other 2 girls were calmed down and taking showers and getting ready for bed.. Then not an hour after the oldest got to her grandmothers her mother called her .. then later that night the oldest tried to tell her grandmother that she had bruises and marks all over her .. her grandmother asked her to show her where there was not one mark on her .. then she took pictures since by then she also thought it was a plan... then the next day at school she went to her school security and wanted to file charges for asult and battery against her father.. of course when a child does that the police are called .. and then the police have to call Dss automatically and they have no choice.. the police man came to our house and talked to us and he was the same one that talked to her at school .. and he said that he had been through a divorce and he said she acted like a child that was being a T total brat to get her own way and to get revenge most likely put upon her from another party and that this was most likely a planned act and that he saw no need to have farther action and the case was closed with the police department.. he said however that he had to call Dss because the case had to do with a child .. and he appologized to my fiance for having to do so because he said in his own words that My fiances oldest needed her pants pulled down and her little butt spanked and her mouth washed out with soap .. and Dss after the girls were allowed to live with their mother suddenly gave us a letter over 6 months after the incident with the oldest later saying that there was abuse in the house hold and all sort of terrible things. Dss does NOT like my fiance because he asks for his lawyer to be involved every time they come trying to get in the house and talk to the girls and what not, because he talked to his lawyer after the first time he got a call from them because he was worried about it and he was advised by his lawyer to have meetings between the DSS and himself and his children in his office.. and that home visits would be conducted with a lawyer present. So Dss is now out to get my fiance.. and his lawyer actually told my fiance this so it's no imagination.

My fiance's Ex has said in the past that if she can not have custody of the girls then she does not want to have kevin in custody, but that she would be satisfied if his mother would have custody. When the original custody battle took place she was found unfit not only because of the place that she was living at the time but also because of her actions.. she actually left the girls at my fiances mothers house and told them she was going to the grocery store. My fiance was out of town at the time working. She testified in court under oath that she had been in another state with a couple she had met off of the internet. Needless to say my fiance decided to divorce her right then, because they had had that problem before where she was "with" someone off the internet so they actually got rid of the computer and she would sneak out and go to the library to talk to men on the net. Now she swears to the girls that she was visiting a sick uncle and that she had never left them and that their father and grandmother lied and took her babies from her.

My fiance and i are terribly worried about the girls , but we are sort of stuck as to what we can do right now.. My fiance first needs to get his health back into order because he now has pancritis from drinking for over 15+ years and he has a sezure disorder which started after a car wreck 7 years ago. The girls mother has the girls believing that their father is dying .. she has told them this for years now. This was why she was never allowed to talk to the girls when she called our house because often she would get them upset usually later in the evening and we would have to calm them and then calm nightmares Ect. on school nights.

The girls mother had cancer about 7 years ago and the doctors gave her 2 years to live. She has beaten those odds, but some times both my fiance wish that it would return .. i know its bad to think that both my fiance and i do and its sad that we would wish that just to protect the girls since there seems no other way .. but thinking on how much easier it would be with out her infulance on the girls and her mentally abusing them.