To give you a little background.....I am planning to homeschool dd beginning next year. Currently she's in a montessori school for 1/2 day kindergarten. My mother comes to ice skating lessons with us and has really opened up to homeschooling and done a complete 180 since seeing that so many of the ice skaters also are homeschooled. So she's now bragging to everyone she knows we're going to homeschool, lol.

So my mom mentioned to a good friend of mine that we are going to homeschool dd next year. My friend is a teacher in a public elementary school. My friend brought up the socialization issue to my mom and she told her to talk to me, lol. So we are invited to my friend's daughter's b-day in a couple of weekends (her dd is a year younger than mine). So my mom warned me, I needed to brush up on my "what to say when they bring up socialization" because I know my friend will bring it up.

I know the gist of the issue, but I can't put it into good words that will make sense, lol.

I am not sure if this follows your thought process, but this is how I handle these rude assumptions that I am raising idiots who won't be able to be in "normal" society.

I respond with, "Socialization? That is very well taken care of in our daily activities. This includes our friends and stangers. We take part in classes, field trips, after school play time, park playtime, hanging out with friends at their houses time, we also go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners and even the school supply stores. We also have Tae Kwon Do and last, BUT certainly NOT least, we have each other. How may I ask is this not socialization? "

The person usually responds with, "But they aren't learning how to work in a group or how to get along with people their own age."

My final response is "Unless we are in the bathroom(and even sometimes there...LOL), we are a family of five and we are always working on how to get along with people and work to a common goal in a group. Also why would I want them to be around only people their own age...there are no role models within age groups. One must look to their elders for a role model and if there isn't one there, many will choose the "leader" of the group of agemates...not always the best person for the job! In our daily life we have many opportunities for the kids to be exposed to and develop friendships with people of many ages from toddler through adult."

So, I don't know if that helps, but it is typically what I say to others. I try not to bash others and the way they do things, I just state facts and obvious realities.

my general response is that I even if I didn't homeschool I wouldn't want my children to be taught the "herd mentality" Limiting a child's socialization to that of children thier own age doesn't teach them any real world lessons. In the real world she needs to learn how to get along with people of various ages and abilities and homeschooling allows me the freedom to expose my children to a wide variety of people so they are learning "real world" experience.

Although for a school teacher my response might be something like "I thought children were discouraged from talking in class?" lol I think it's just ridiculous to think that children actually get much socialization at school. Let's see in 1st grade they have what two 15 min recess and a 20-30 min lunch that they are allowed to talk freely with each other??!! how much real world social skills are they building in that time?

Also, I like to emphasize that by monitoring my children's social interactions I'm able to catch "bad manners"and inappropriate behaviors right away, and I'm able to keep them from negative peer pressure. My children have no desire to wear GAP, NIKE or drink COKE, none of them are worried that thier ears are too big, they have freckles, they're too fat or too skinny etc. My children won't have to deal with bullies or name calling.

When your at the party and get asked about socialization...simply say..hmmm...point to where ever dd is (assuming she isn't clinging to your leg, lol) and say "Seems like she is doing fine if you ask me"...and don't forget to smile brightly. :D

Lucky you with a supportive mom!

Thanks you guys for all the advice. I think I can do it now, lol.

And Camie, in our public school district here, they got rid of recess for the elementary schools about 2 years ago. I could not believe it. They had a big uproar from the parents, but it didn't help, they never reinstated it. It was because their test scores weren't good enough and they needed even more time to cram stuff down them, but....their test scores have gone even further down this year. yeah that definitely helped :rolleyes:

:ditto: what they said plus the nerdy anthropologist answer

"yes, and by grouping by age we as a society have lost so much respect for our elders, it's sad"

It comes across best with a total dead pan and with a shake of the head at the end.


rofl! It's true though, but I usually can't do the dead-pan sorrow.

Originally posted by TipToe Fairy
Thanks you guys for all the advice. I think I can do it now, lol.

And Camie, in our public school district here, they got rid of recess for the elementary schools about 2 years ago. I could not believe it. They had a big uproar from the parents, but it didn't help, they never reinstated it. It was because their test scores weren't good enough and they needed even more time to cram stuff down them, but....their test scores have gone even further down this year. yeah that definitely helped :rolleyes: WOW! That surprises me! I thought that just about every psychologist/pediatrian would tell you that was the surest way to make things worse. Kids need to play, they need the freedom to run and jump. WoW! What about thier physical development? Sorry none of this is directed at you, it just astounds me.

Originally posted by Thmom
WOW! That surprises me! I thought that just about every psychologist/pediatrian would tell you that was the surest way to make things worse. Kids need to play, they need the freedom to run and jump. WoW! What about thier physical development? Sorry none of this is directed at you, it just astounds me.

Yeah, it astounded me too. At that point I was definitely sure that public school was not even an option. I could not believe it. It's bad enough being in school all day long til 3:30, but to not have a single recess is unimaginable. I'm so glad Emma is in montessori kindergarten, they play a lot and she's only there for 4 hrs a day and they get 30 minutes of PE and 30 minutes of recess a day.

On another note....I'm making progress, I found a mom locally who's trying to start a homeschool group that just might be perfect for us. She's having a big meeting this weekend to start planning. I'm so excited! And I've found local PE and art classes for homeschoolers. And I've already started ordering things for dd's curriculum next year. WOOHOO! I'm such a planner when it comes to these kinds of things, I have to feel organized so I know what I'm doing, lol.

This article about socialization is GREAT:
http://www.tnhomeed.com/LRSocial.html
:)
Tara

Thanks Tara! That was a great article that summed up what I was thinking.