My ds is 3yrs and finds enjoyment in making messes. He will dump containers of toys, clear book shelves, spread toys all over and then refuse to clean them up. I have put many things up so that he has to ask to play with them just so he can't make messes. I try and play with him so that he doesn't make a mess, but that isn't always possible. A lot of the time he isn't playing with them he just takes them out and spreads them all over.

I clean up with him, but it's usually me doing the picking up. I tell him if we clean up these then we can get out such and such. I tell him if we don't clean these up I will have to put them up and he can't play with them the next time. I have sent him to sit on his bed until he is ready to clean them up. I tell him if he doesn't clean up he can't play with anything else. Occasionally he does pick up with out a fight, but most of the time there is a lot of crying:(

I am out of ideas. Is this just a 3yr old thing? I don't think I should pick them up by myself because then it will be expected and doesn't teach him to pick up after himself.

Please help, what do you do?

Thanks!

You've described my three year old. This week what's working is making it a race to see who can pick up the most toys the fastest. Other things that work are making a game out of it - like can you find all the blue things and pick them up before i get the red things?

Good luck, my son is blaming the baby for making the messes now.

Isn't that annoying?

I do two things. I put away the toys like you did or I simply stop him before he starts. I wait until I see him starting to dump or empty and I quickly go over and say: No dumping (kindly, but firmly) and help him put the container back on the ground.

Stop him before he starts as much as possible.

ITA with Stacy - stop it before it starts. Also, we do 'one thing at a time' which means you clean up the playdough before you get out the blocks. So cleaning up isn't such a chore.

If my child isn't helping to clean, I will stand behind them and take their hands in mine and pick up stuff with them. They will often suddenly have floppy kid syndrome, but at least they are doing it. They realize that even though you are doing it, they didn't get out of doing the work - does that make sense?

Also, I don't spend a lot of time trying to make it a game or trick them into doing it. I say 'clean up' if they don't than I do it with them like I described above. (the key is to keep calm and not get all upset) and then I say something like "good job cleaning, next time maybe you can do it by yourself".

Oh and one more thing that seems to help is to remind them as they are taking out a toy "don't forget, you need to put that away when you are done with it".

Good luck - just keep on, staying consistant and requiring the cleaning. It is a lot of work now, but you will reap what you sow.

Melinda

Ooh, I have that 3yo, too. The house usually looks like a tornado of toys. :rolleyes:

We've been telling her that if she cannot clean them up, then she can't play with them. If she doesn't clean up, then the toys get put away (in a box somewhere) where she cannot get to them. If she cleans up her toys, then slowly the toys in "time out" come back out, if not, more may end up in there! Keeps my floors semi-clean and teaches her that she is responsible for her toys, not us.

Now, if only the 13 yo would learn to clean up her room.....hmmm......