I'm being driven to the edge day in and day out and I'm going crazy. I'm thinking I'm a huge idiot for waiting too long to have another baby. At least then with 2 maybe they could occupy each other and give me, oh, 5 minutes to do something!

I swear, this child, whom I love with all my being, is so far up my butt all day long I can't stand it. It's putting a real strain on our relationship. I try to be out of the house a lot, because it's only really at home that she is like this. I think she is bored, but I just don't know what to do about it!

She is still nursing, and WAY too much for me. SHe was down to only once or twice a day, now it seems every hour she is wanting to nurse (unless we are out and about, then she couldn't care less). The nursing is driving me crazy.

She just will not play by herself for more than a few minutes. I'm thinking we need some new toys, but then I think it wouldn't matter. I'm very anti-stuff and we don't have a ton of toys, but we do have blocks, a couple dolls and stuffed animals with a bed, a wooden stove, a dollhouse and a dress up basket full of clothes. Gosh, I guess that doesn't look like much, but she really doesn't seem to play w/ toys anyway, unless it's at the library, or someone else's house.

When I'm vacuuming, she'll go into the bedroom and call for me, and of course I can't hear her, so by the time I'm done she's in there screaming her head off. Everytime I try to do something she is trying to divert my attention back onto her.

she is NOT at all neglected, I give the kid way more attention than I see any other kids getting. We read together, we play together, she 'helps' me in the kitchen, etc. I do not know why, at 3 years old, she needs 100% of my attention 99% of the time.

I can't get anything done around here, I don't have 2minutes to myself ever, I have a dh who is super busy and I can't count on him for help. I need a pep talk, advice, something. I don't know.
Am I an idiot for thinking waiting on kid #2 was a good Idea???

Do you have any Play-Doh? Lydia will play with that stuff four hours.....

eta - I'm trying to think of what Lydia likes to play with without me that doesn't involve buying more stuff... My button bin, fabric scraps & scissors, sink half filled with water & plastic dishes... paper & crayons or pens....

I just weaned Lydia because she was nursing just like your Lydia. I couldn't take it anymore.

:hug:

but he is six now. Drives me up a wall. I know EXACTLY how you feel. He STILL follows me to the bathroom.

Some things that worked for us in varying degrees:

Childsize radio/tape player (with microphone, cover your ears) and music/books on tape

kid keyboard, maracas, drums, jingle sticks

Legoes/Duplo blocks

Playdough, Playdough, Playdough -- making your own is fun too

What Barb said about the sink -- he still does dishes and is actually getting uselfull in that dept.

child-size household tools -- the little mini-red Devil vac. cleaner was a MIRACLE WORKER when it came to trying to clean (now he has his own real one and does a floor by himself). Ditto mops and kid brooms.


"play rice" -- I put rice in a deep cookie sheet and let him drive his Matchbox cars and trucks in it. We keep it in it's own bag. Recently I added some lentils -- they look like rocks.

"science experiements" -- I gave him four or five bottles from the kitchen including vinegar and baking soda, measuring cups and a big bowl and let him "cook".

Painting, finger painting, white board or chalk board

Color Wonder markers were interesting for about two weeks, but I had 15 min. a day for two weeks for $10!

Gluing and cutting was big when he was three -- maybe some simple foam craft kits or shapes? I bought a big tub of foamies at JoAnn's on sale and evey once in a while I just pull 'em out and give him a glue stick. When he was three I gave him a foam sheet or paper as a base.

Hmmm...looking back, can you tell I don't care much about kid messes, lol?

Hey, there is also a link in the alternative learning forum that has a list of activities for keeping younger kids busy while you are teaching older ones. I bet some of those activities could buy you time for a cup of coffee and a section of the paper!

ETA: My six year old version just came upstairs to tell me that he wanted to make something, to which I replied that he was allowed to make stuff -- go do it. Then he decided on a float -- yes, a float. And now he is peeved at me because I will not go make a float (parade float) with him at the drop of a hat.

He seriously wants to go outside RIGHT NOW (we just got up -- joys of homeschooling) and cover the car with flowers.

Sigh...

When my kids were that age I found trading off playdates very helpful. It seems two 3 yr olds together would be more work, but in fact they are less work. Do you have a good friend you trust with a child close in age, so you could trade off an hour here or there?

Developmentally, 3 yr olds are on the cusp of a new era. No longer babies, they seem to need adults more as the world seems so much bigger. It's exciting, but also a little scary. This seems to be the age , which can last until nearly 5 or so, when they don't like to be alone in the bathrooms, esp if the bathroom is far from where the parent is. A couple of my kids would not even go downstairs without someone.

Some activites that my 3 yr olds and more have liked are--

Water colors- buy a couple of the cheaper ones as you can't be worried about them mixing colors or remembering to rince the little brush. It's not important right now. Or, you could mix up one color (like stockmar) in a jar and let her paint with the one color. Just keep it open ended. The paint is for experimenting. It's doesn't have to be anything. Have a lot of paper ready.

Playdough and grlic press, little plastic knife etc. . I found some kids can't handle the rolling pin and the cookie cutters at young ages, so they end up crying that's it's messed up. Cutting and pressing is easier for some kids, plus again, they can be free not to 'make something'.

A tub of rice or water. I like to use a bigger tub- like the kind you store items in under the bed. There's juts more room for kids to work. You can put spoons and colanders, cups, whatever. This always amused my kids for hours.

Glue sitcks and already cut bits of paper or pics from magazines. It's not about cutting-- that can be frsutrating. Tearing construction paper or colored tissue the finished product looks like
a a mosiac or stained glass. Have a few sheets of paper ready- sometimes kids like to fill up a whole sheet of paper, and sometimes they like to just glue a few bits on paper.

Chalkboard and colored chalk (not the german waldorf chalk. That's stains crazy!) You want it easy cleanup for you, too.

hth

hang in there

i was goign to 'second' playdates. we do them constantly. Plus i babysit so every day is a playdate.

a. will be 3 in january and she and zoey (4) play for hours without intervention. i'm serious. i have to stop them to use the restroom and eat. now roman (15mos) can be occupied for 20 minutes or so before needing me again cuz he's following them around.
i also watch j. (also 3 in january) and so 2 or 3 days a week he joins in the fun.
the moms of these kids have said that when its just them its like they're 'up their butts' all day - i think they just need that interaction. for us it was a godsend.... they get the socialization/playgroup and we get the xtra $ we needed.

roman and zoey play together now too... now that he's old enough. right now they're playing ball in the kitchen lol

on the days when i have just my kids and zoey is on me cuz roman is 'just a baby', we go to play with our other friends. Today we're meeting a friend at the park. She's zoeys age and her brother is romans age

Thanks for the suggestions. She already does a lot of these things, but doesn't want to do them alone, even if I am only 2 feet away unloading the dishwasher (or whatever). I definately think it is the lack of a playmate. We can go to the library and she will play for 3 hours straight with other kids without even coming to make sure I am still there! Same w/ the playground. I keep telling dh we need to adopt a 2 year old, but he's not going for it. :joker: (only halfway joking here, my friend just adopted a 15 month old from China, and I just want to squeeze her! She's soooooo sweet.)

When Sam is up my butt (sorry, but I'm :joker: at how accurate that description is), I start an activity with him, and then ease off to do something else close-by. For instance, I'll get out all the clay or playdoh stuff on the kitchen table, and we'll sit together and do stuff with it for 5-10 minutes, and then I'll get up and start cleaning the kitchen. We'll still be talking, and I'll still be having a conversation with him about the play-doh or whatever, but it's a way to wean him toward more independent play. If he says, "I want you to sit with me," I reply, "I will, as soon as I am done cleaning." and then immediately segue back into our previous conversation.

Or, I just give him a job to do while I am cleaning the kitchen or whatever.

If music is on, I find it helps, because it seems to bridge the gaps in independent play.

Tara

I am with you on the "adopt a playmate" angle.

I literally have not gone ten minutes with out a request for play help, an "im bored" type moan or an incredible scheme that would involve serious $ and time to create/participate in.

And he had a two hour playdate this morning.

WHY can't they just GO PLAY?!