My daughter gets herself frustrated and angry over seemingly inconsequential things. They spiral into tantrums and fits of anger way too much. I am looking for a book for her *or* me to help her find some coping techniques. Anyone?

My ds is 7 and going through the same thing as your dd. I don't have any advice. So far, I was hoping it was just a stage he would outgrow.

I've found that with my ds (8 yrs), that when he explodes it's because it was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. So many little things have gotten to him over the course of the day, that when he reaches his limit he just loses it over little things.

Deep breathing...(for you) oh, and for her too.

I take solice in knowing that others are going through this too (although not happy that you have to go through it) and I'm coming to the conclusion that it's the nature of the "tween" beast. It started for us around 7 years...we're still going through it a bit at almost 9 years. It sucks and I wish I had some great advice for you. All I have are :big hug:.

If I can't find a good book for her on this I may write one :-)

My ds is going through it now too, he is also 7. I agree that its usually the staw that broke the camel's back. It usually piles up, and before you know it-he's all frustrated.

It can be anything, things that happen at school. I know he is dealing with a lot right now, so I am trying to give him some space when he is going through the initial moment, and then I try to spend some one on one time with him. Also right after he has calmed~I look at him and I say "I love you so much and I am so proud of who you are, so whats bothering you?" Tears usually follow with how he is feeling or whats wrong.

I will check back to look for any books suggested!

Glad to know he/we aren't the only ones going through it.

Looking for more info or book recommendations as we are still dealing with the status quo. :rolleyes:

Perhaps overstimulated?

I have 7 & 9 y/o girls who do not have the issues that are often brought up here on Amity. I generally associate it with a quite lifestyle as well as our even temperedness as parents.

If they are in school and other activities, perhaps start eliminating how much they are envolved in?

If they are Homeschooled, maybe give them more outside time or even quality one on one time with you to just talk things out.

Every night before we go to bed, I lay down with my girls for 5-15min each. For my youngest her 'need' is for us to talk for a bit and then for me to sing to her before she sleeps. For my oldest, this is when we have some of our deepest conversations and I get a feel for what really clicks away in her mind.

When little ones are ignored, they feel they need to get attention in other ways. When my oldest gets moody, it is usually because of lack of sleep and I'll put her to bed earlier or give her a nap --- When my youngest gets overly wired, I spend more time with her. They normally spend their entire day together but Alison is the 'voice' and Erica just goes along. Sometimes Erica (7 like yours) needs her voice to be heard too and sometimes I fail to listen.

Are we always telling them....'not now Momma's busy'?

My general rule of thumb is that when I see bad behavior in them I do a self-examination of *me*. Am I preoccupied? Am I tense? Am I scolding more? Am I too busy? Are we too busy? Do I shoo them away? Is my tone snippity with them?

Kids are a direct reflection of us whether we like it or not.

I hope this helps momma. Best wishes to you. :)

Originally posted by chococat


My general rule of thumb is that when I see bad behavior in them I do a self-examination of *me*. Am I preoccupied? Am I tense? Am I scolding more? Am I too busy? Are we too busy? Do I shoo them away? Is my tone snippity with them?

Kids are a direct reflection of us whether we like it or not.



This in particular IS something I need to investigate, thanks.

She is not really overstimulated. Her anger comes out when I put my foot down. All of a sudden she is angry and will spiral out of control and tantrum when I say no means no.

I am sorry I don't have any advice for you as we are going through this exact same thing. I am so glad you posted because I thought it was just us having an extremely hard time. My dd is also 7.
I will be watching this thread to see if there is someone who recommends a good book or has some good advice.

Hang in there!:)

Here's a book that might help. We have a copy. The one technique I remember is having them blow out deep breath.
I'm Frustrated (Dealing With Feelings)
by Elizabeth Crary

Just wanted to update and let you guys know I am reading a book callled "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It is very good. If you're having issues like mine its a worthwhile book to read.