Dh and I disagree strongly on the best method of dealing with this child. The truth is, neither of our methods is working, lol.

Finn is 2.5 years old. He's all boy. He is constantly hitting, kicking, punching, jumping. He beats on dh and I, and on his sister. I don't think he is trying to hurt anyone, but he also doesn't understand that what he is doing hurts. I can stop him from kicking me and say owie, that hurts mama, but he doesn't get it. Dh has taken to being physical back to him and saying "see, that hurts doesn't it". Dh isn't really hurting him, but is being physical, which I have a huge problem with. To me, that's just teaching him that being physical is appropriate. Dh wants it to stop NOW, and I do to, but I have more experience with this age group and I know that Finn cannot think logically about it. Hitting ds and saying, "see, it hurts doesn't it" is just not going to work, but redirecting him isn't working either.

Winnie was sleeping this morning and Finn crawled up to her and just wholloped her on the back. He grins when he does it. I think he's doing it for the attention, but it's not something we can ignore completely, and negative attention clearly doesn't work. Neither does positive attention, because then he does it to get the positive attention. Just removing him from the situation doesn't work, because he's ALWAYS doing it. If he's hitting Winnie, and I pick him up to move him away, he just continues on me. He doesn't usually hurt me or dh, but he's little. This has to stop before he gets big, lol.

He is not like this to the kids in school, and is only rarely physical with friends children.

HELP!

Oh, Mama, I understand what you are going though. My 25 month old daughter is doing the same thing but mainly to her cousin (four months her senior) and to our pets.

When angry, Veronica will hit, punch, or kick her cousin. Usually we see what's coming and can stop it or distract her/redirect her. However, with the animals it's almost as though she doesn't understand they 'hurt' when she pulls their tails, grabs their fur, etc. It's really frustrating.

We've tried telling her that it hurts, that we need to be gentle...even given up and shouted "NO!" when she really is hurting someone.

Nothing works.

We won't be physical back to her for the reasons you named. I wish I had better advice for you but I think you're doing everything you can in the situation. I know we're hopeful that Veronica will curb this behavior before the new baby makes his/her appearance but we're nervous about that, too.

Hang in there. I'll be watching this thread in hopes that someone else will have better advice for you.

My DS will sometimes do the same thing (he's 2 plus 3 months) for no apparent reason. Luckily he's not very strong. I do a time-out but it is not terribly effective.
How are his verbal skills? Is he using physical action in place of speaking? Does he have any sensory issues? He may need mroe "input" to get the information he needs and craves from his environment, so he may just be more physical b/c of that, he doesn't know other people are different yet.

I have a strong feeling, for us anyway, that this is one of those things that will take time to work itself out. You'll need to supervise even mroe in the meantime, but I don't know if any techniques will work until he is able to comprehend mroe, KWIM?

And DEFINITELY DO NOT allow him to be physically reprimanded, that will make it last much longer and be harder to kick. Tell DH that if it hasn't worked yet that it won't, and that it will only escalate with hitting him harder and harder. Tell him to let you handle it, even if it means walking away.
Remind him he's the adult and your ds is 2.