I know the frustrations you are talking about. The never having enough, the wondering where that "extra" money went. For me, being frugal has become a good habit/hobby for me and now its grown into 2nd nature. For me it started off as a website that no longer exists -- frugalmoms.com. That lead to www.simpleliving.net
There I started seeing that not everyone has to buy your clothes new and how to really start thinking about money. I was one of those people that ran out of money before I ran out of week. Now I'm much more aware of where everything goes. Here are a few things you can try to help get yourself back into shape or at least on the right track!

--write down every penny you spend! Whether for a week or a month it'll give you a much better idea of where its really going.

allowance -- decide on an allowance for you and dh. $10 a week and then you can work your way down. Dh and I do $5 a week. If you want something that costs more, save for it with your own allowance!

grocery goals -- give yourself a budget and then stick to it. Keep track monthlyand then try to beat that number!

Immerse yourself -- read a book about simple living, saving money or being frugal. Go on frugal boards and then after awhile you'll be in the right mindframe.

I used to be one of those people that dreamed of having a giant shopping spree so I could buy til my hearts content but these days, I see it as only more junk that comes into my house and clutters up everything.

Great advice Luna! My DH gets $20 every 2 weeks as his allowance. He can spend it however he likes - coffee and donuts a few times, lunch out or at the cafeteria instead of taking leftovers/sandwiches, a new book/cd/dvd, etc. This has really stopped the ATM hemorrhaging.

And I too no longer feel deprived because I'm not always shopping or buying. I feel lighter and happier with so much less stuff coming into my small home.

My jaw is dropping, DH's allowance is $80/week, to cover gas and eating out. Mine is $150, which covers groceries, gas, and feeding and clothing the children, plus it is supposed to cover unexpected minor expenses, like Dr. copays, oil changes for the car, etc.

I am in awe, where is the bowing smilie????:bow:

Well, my DH's allowance is only for extras. Gas comes out of the gas portion of the budget. Groceries come out of the grocery portion, etc. In reality, I pay all of the bills as soon as DH gets paid (every 2 weeks) or at least record the ones that will be paid automatically from that check (student loans, car payment, satellite, netflix, telephone, utilities, etc.) I adjust our debt payments to give us $200 or so to live on for the next 2 weeks. That $200 includes gas, groceries, co-pays (maybe every 6 months or so since we are in good health so far), dining out (a rarity) and any incidentals. If I know a major expense is coming up I try to budget for it ahead of time.

I use quicken and have all of our recurring expenses scheduled and recorded 2 months in advance. This really helps me to budget and see how I can be certain to have the money for the newspaper subscription when it comes due every 6 months or for soccer registration or a special birthday gift and dinner for DH.

And of course money goes into savings (4 different accts actually plus 529 college fund) automatically. One acct is linked to our checking and is the one I can transfer $20 or $50 or whatever over if need be when we buy a few too many extras at the grocery store or use more gas then normal.

It is just the 3 of us plus a dog but the cost of living here is pretty outrageous. We have no Wal Mart or Target closer than 30 miles so the grocery chain here can charge whatever they want pretty much.

All of these things are wonderful advise ladies! I run into the "my dh's paycheck NEVER covers the bills" thing all the time, but when he finally gets a paid PD job then I am sure I will be very happy I am subscribed to this thread. :D

The book that I recomend it "Simple Living Guide"... the post in which I talk about it is copied here:

One thing that changed my outlook on that forever was a book called The Simple Living Guide. This is not a plug... but it is a wonderful book. I would read it over and over, but I got it from the library. It really hit home with me... about filling your house ONLY with things you love, about how it is never about how much money you spend, or how much space you have, about how you don't need to live in the wilderness with goats and no running water to find peace and happiness. I don't know. I just was VERY touched by it... and it really helped me work on some of the very things you are talking about in my life for the first time in a real and true from the heart way.

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I just bought the book for $8 (shipping and everything) on Half.com. It is one I want to own (and I just made $90 in a garage sale today).

http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.c...=1856&meta_id=1

Here is the book on Amazon. This is the link to see the inside of the book. If you are like me the intro and the index alone will sell you on it.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/055...328#reader-link

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I have found through not having money there is freedom... for afterall... if you have no money, what do you have to worry about? lol... I have spent these last two years figuring out that money causes nothing but stress... it is like sex. Having it, or not having it is always a problem. ;) (Ok I am done with my analogy quota for today... lol...)

For me, I was always frugal in an American sort of way. I do not buy things new often, I do not shop at Walmart, or Target, or anyother place that makes you feel as though if you just walked around long enough, you could spend more money. (Well the every other monthly trip for tp trying to keep my eyes closed as I walk past the "Disney Television for your baby's car seat" section aside.) I always had an affilation to buy for as little as possible but still get the good quality things... it was like a game. But I found myself still buying things I did not need, and finding amazing amounts of clutter in my house, and was consistantly frusterated about cleaning it up.

Not having money was freedom from that for me. We hardly ever went out to eat and when we did, we never got "Happy Meals" or anything that came with the undo toy because that was another $2 I NEEDED to save. So the clutter stopped coming in, and I was still finding it everywhere. I broke that cycle last week and cleaned, decluttered, and cleared my entire house. I have been AMAZED at the amount of clutter my frugal life had aquired. Not saying that I will not bring more in... but I have a pact with myself to only bring in things I LOVE... things I stopped and say "wow, I would use that every day" or "I feel good just looking at that." It is a battle between me and the advertising market... because they have made a job out of making you feel that way about everything! But I am winning now.... lol...

The type of guilt I had from my children always having too much, from us having so many clothes in our closets that we could not find hangers when all of the laundry was done (even though 4 items out of that closet were bought new), of me getting angry at the kids for not picking up their toys... a lot of that is gone for now. (Although I am not saying it will not get that way again... right now we just can't afford it... lol).

Getting out of the Consumerism mind set is such a personal process. And it feels so unAmerican to me... I cringe when I hear that we need to "spend" to keep our country in jobs... It just no longer seems sustainable... and I know from personal experience that it is not satisfing. But it is so ingrained that I do miss it sometimes... and every now and then I feel as though there is really something I am missing in my life that is "out there somewhere"... but not as often.

Love Val

Hey Luna, I used to belong to Frugal Moms too. Who were you on there? I miss it, but I go to www.frugalvillage.com now where there are several FM's members :)

Great thread girls....this place can be addicting with the good advice. And it all inpsires me.
On frugal moms I was Luna. I'm not sure how active a poster I was back then. I was brand-new to the net and just absorbed a ton from those girls. So smart!
Frugal Village....I'll check it out thanks!