I Got Busted For Nursing In Public, at our downtown Marriot Swimming Pool [Archive] - AmityMama.com

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kaje62
06-01-2004, 02:35 PM
For memorial day we went to the Marriot Depot that has an indoor waterpark. Sunday afternoon I was nursing Angie at the side of the pool, and sure enough, 5 minutes later, a young, red-faced guy walks up and asks me to stop.......bodily fluids...blah blah blah....
So I stopped and my friend Danielle went to "have a chat" with him.

She asked him if he realized how many bodily fluids are actually getting in the pool from swimmers, compared to the most-likely ZERO fluids getting in the pool from simply sitting on the edge of the pool nursing. There is SO much chlorine in public pools, I don't know how anything could possibly live in that water!

He said "true, but it was mostly an issue of exposure." So she said "Do you see how many women in slinky little bikinis there are in here? What's the difference, really?" "Well, I guess not a whole lot", he says, "but it's just that people were complaining". So she told him that there are no laws in MN forbidding women from nursing in any public area, in case they didn't know, and that next time someone complains, they should remember that.

The next day they had different staff so I nursed Angelyn and no one busted me and then I started to feel sad, mad, ****ty, shameful, etc...so I went up and asked for the manager and got connected via phone and told her the story and she said she would have her manager call me. I never realized how yucky or upsetting that can be until it happens to you. Pssstt.....and by the way I leak even when I ain't nursing, silly people.

After I got home I realized that not only there are no laws forbidding it, there are laws in place saying women have the right to breastfeed anywhere, anytime without hassle. New Jersey law actually allows civil penalties for anyone who tries to prevent a woman from breastfeeding in public!

Also, Danielle sent a email about the incident. Here it is:

To whom it may concern:
This afternoon (Sunday May 30th) we were guests at your pool, invited by some friends of ours (Kathy Jo and Jerry Peterson) who had stayed there for the weekend. My own family and I have stayed at your hotel on two other occasions in the past couple years over various holidays, and have always really enjoyed ourselves.

Today, my friend was nursing her 9 month old baby at the edge of your pool- not IN the pool, but only sitting on the edge. Within a few minutes, one of the attendants (tall, thin young man with glasses) came over and asked her to stop, and perhaps go upstairs and feed the baby. She did stop, and was a bit uncomfortable, so I offered to speak to the young man. He was very polite, by the way, so I really have nothing personal against him.

My point to him and the other male attendant was:

1. Considering all the bodily fluid that gets in the pool from swimmers, how is nursing a baby on the edge of the pool a health concern?

2. If it was an issue of skin exposure, I could readily point out at least two women in very skimpy bikini tops that showed as much skin as my friend.

3. In the state of Minnesota, an establishment can not forbid a breastfeeding woman to feed her child in any place where both mother and child are allowed to be, i.e. the edge of your pool.

Here is a copy of the law: http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/Bills23.html

I would appreciate a response to this matter. My friend's family was trying to enjoy a weekend at your pool, and this did create a bit of tension.

The hotel manager called me just a bit ago and he was totally totally cool. He apologized, he told me they co-slept and they extended nursed their three kids. He said his wife would have decked anyone that got in her face about feeding her children. And he had a staff meeting today and reinforced that they have no policy against nursing anywhere in the hotel and they are going to include it in the orientation for now on. I even told him that we have people available to do training and education, if need be. Oh and he would welcome a nurse in!

Tuesday
06-01-2004, 02:41 PM
Originally posted by kaje62
I even told him that we have people available to do training and education, if need be. Oh and he would welcome a nurse in!

Good for you all for taking a stand!! It's such a shame that this is still an issue <shaking head>

MamaNurse
06-01-2004, 02:48 PM
As frustrating and painful as the experience must have been, I'm so happy that it seems to have ended positively...with employees being educated! How cool about the manager. It *always* helps to have someone w/personal experience on your side. If their family weren't so supportive of BFing, it may have been an different outcome.

Sounds like you guys handled it fantastically.

:thumbsup:

TulaneMama
06-01-2004, 02:56 PM
Stories like yours are so empowering..Yeah to Danielle and yourself for standing up for what you believe in and is the LAW!!!

Congrats!!!! Go Mamas!!!



;cool:

kaje62
06-01-2004, 03:00 PM
Here is his response, I was waiting for his permission to post this. Just got an aokay.

Here is the letter he sent me:

Kathy Jo,
Nice to speak with you today, isn’t parenting fun. Actually my wife is a writer who specializes in writing about parenting and the joys of raising children, (and husbands as she would say).

I just wanted to confirm to you our conversation today regarding your incident in the water park with our lifeguard. It is absolutely not our position to bother/hassle any mother who is breastfeeding
/ in any area of our hotel. I truly apologize for the way you were made to feel about doing something so natural and important.

So you know I discussed your experiences in our staff meeting today with all our managers present so that we could be sure everyone was educated on this topic.

Thanks again for taking the time to call me, I am sending a gift certificate for you to come back to the Depot again. When you make your reservation, please contact me directly so that I can personally take care of your arrangements.

Rudy Sharp,Managing Director

The Depot

Tuesday
06-01-2004, 03:04 PM
Thanks again for taking the time to call me, I am sending a gift certificate for you to come back to the Depot again. When you make your reservation, please contact me directly so that I can personally take care of your arrangements.

YAY!! I am very impressed with his response to this situation!! That's very encouraging, and GOOD FOR YOU :D

besttwins
06-01-2004, 03:06 PM
Good for you!!!!


I was in a baby store when the twins wer 10 months old. They were hungry and I sat in a rocking chair they had on display and lifted my shirt and they each grab a breast and nursed. they were straddling my legs so they were covering my front you could not see much. I had a store clerk come over and tell my I couldn't nurse there. I said I could and she said they have a folding chair in the bathroom I can sit on and nurse. I said that I do not eat in the bathroom and I will not have my kids eating in there. She said that he personally doesn't have a problem with it but her manger asked her to come over here. I said I can nurse here and will. She said she didn't want to have to call the police and I told her to go ahead and also call their lawyers while their at it. I'll call the news stations because I know my rights and if I am allowed to sit here in this seat without nursing then I can sit here and nurse. Meanwhile since the kids were done I stopped nursing but if I wanted to be really nasty I could have kept them going. Sometimes I wish I were more stubborn and sat there and had them call the police and everything. I had the state legislation about breastfeeding in my diaper bag for FL, NJ and NY since we were going up north on vacation in a couple days.

I got home still angry and wrote a nasty little email to the company and later received and apology letter and a $25 gift crtificate. I went there to spend the certificate and brestfeed in those same chairs, and haven't been back to the store since.

Tuesday
06-01-2004, 03:09 PM
Originally posted by besttwins
I said I can nurse here and will. She said she didn't want to have to call the police and I told her to go ahead and also call their lawyers while their at it. I'll call the news stations because I know my rights and if I am allowed to sit here in this seat without nursing then I can sit here and nurse.


I went there to spend the certificate and brestfeed in those same chairs, and haven't been back to the store since.

ROFL! I Loooooooooooove these stories!! Good for you too!!!! MOMMA' POWER!! rofl;cool:

besttwins
06-01-2004, 03:11 PM
Once when the kids were only a few months old I was nursing only one of them in the mall and a women sat next to me and had a baby in stroller and just shoved a bottle in their mouth and propped it up. She looked over at me and saw what I was doing and gave me a disgusted look said "eeew" under her breath and moved over on the seat. I then covered up and put Brandon down and picked up amanda and nursed her. The women just shook her head and left.

Later I saw her with her dh and she leaned over to him and said "There's the lady I was telling you about breastfeeding in the middle of the mall." I leaned over to dh and said nice and loud so they would hear it "honey, there's that lady I was telling you about, she shoved a bottle in her baby's mouth in the middle of the mall!"


Those are the only interesting stories I have

Tuesday
06-01-2004, 03:13 PM
Originally posted by besttwins

Later I saw her with her dh and she leaned over to him and said "There's the lady I was telling you about breastfeeding in the middle of the mall." I leaned over to dh and said nice and loud so they would hear it "honey, there's that lady I was telling you about, she shoved a bottle in her baby's mouth in the middle of the mall!"


Those are the only interesting stories I have

ROFLMAO!! I love it!

kaje62
06-01-2004, 03:17 PM
anyone have that cartoon link to the fat bald guy with no shirt smoking a cigar passing a woman who is sweetly nursing her baby as he says GROSS?

german_mama2yx
06-01-2004, 11:01 PM
WTG for standing up!

What a great manager to take this matter seriously.

kaje62
06-02-2004, 03:10 PM
littlemamajess found it for me

http://www.compleatmother.com/images/gross2.jpg

Candace
06-02-2004, 03:50 PM
What a cr@ppy deal! :mad: I'm so sorry you were made to feel like that. :( I'm glad the story has a happy ending. :)

mamaxt
01-08-2005, 10:14 PM
So glad the manager has it right. Good guy. :)

You know the people who were "offended" were probably too chicken to go to a grownup to complain, because they knew they were wrong. So they went to some poor kid because they figured he'd be embarrassed by BOOBS! Well, poor kid and the whole staff learned something new, thanks to you and Danielle. Good job, ladies.

:thumbsup:

btw, I've nursed poolside at my YMCA MANY times, even while I was very very pregnant, and nobody's ever mentioned my "fluids." Or anything at all. I'm not saying there were no surprised looks or stares, but nobody's ever said a thing.

kaje62
01-08-2005, 10:26 PM
We are using our free night weekend after next along with an $89 coupon rate, wonder how they all will like me nursing her now that she is 7 months older!