Megan and Maribeth do WAY better with bottles. Even Maribeth finished a whole bottle today - she's never weighed as getting ANYTHING off breastfeeding - despite my trying for over half an hour with her away and trying (intermittantly though) to nurse. Plus that nurse today fed her that bottle while I was THERE nursing Megan behind a screen - which is why I didn't see her. She didn't bother to let me know before that Maribeth was awake and interested (she was still sleeping when I sat down with Megan). The nurse yesterday had said they wouldn't bottle feed the girls when I was there - but that does seem to depend on who the nurses are. They won't let me try the girls together - but really they don't latch on - so it take both my hands anyway.

Megan went for 12 hours - 4 feedings overnight completely on bottles -test weighed at only getting 5 cc's this afternoon after 40 min actively trying to nurse. The most she's ever got breastfeeding is 15 cc's and that's only been twice. (they weigh them on very sensitve scales before and after to get the amounts).

The nurse said there's no point in talking to the lactation consultant because the lactation consultant at the hospital has no experience with preemies and will just tell me the problem is with the SCN nurses bottle feeding. The nurses at this hospital (they were transferred to an intermediate care nursery closer to where we live last week) - do not cup feed at night and will not tube feed a baby who is awake and trying to suck. Policy is bottles if the baby will take them and I'm not there. It's not as pro=breastfeeding as the hospital they were born at. :(

The doctor said that the girls mouths are just too tiny and they tire too quickly right now - so just keep trying when I can and I'll have to work on breastfeeding at home. But he said I'll need to breastfeed (each baby for approx 20-40 min separately until they get the ideas), then supplement with bottles, then pump to maintain milk supply, then wash and sterilize the pump and bottles - for 2 babies at least every 3 hours. I'm not sure that even feasible with the other children at home.

I'm still ahead of the girls consumption with pumping - so at least that's going well - they are in no danger of needing formula anytime soon. But I"m still a little discouraged that they are doing so well on bottles and not getting breastfeeding. In fact the nurse today pretty much came out and said if I gave up trying to breastfeeding Megan she could probably come home soon. Because they have to take all feeds by mouth for 48 hours - she did 12 last night with bottles - but then the breastfeeding attempts tire her out and then she has to have the bulk of her feedings by ng tube after trying to breastfeed.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions for breastfeeding preemies, or has BTDT, or just want to offer some support - I would appreciate it. I'm pretty discouraged today.

Plus dh's starting to think they amounts they are taking don't warrent the $10/day parking, gas for driving in, plus occasional cafeteria food for me going in every day if they aren't going to be breastfeeding. (which given our finances - I do understand - but I don't want to stop visiting my babies). Plus then there was the cost of the electric breastpump, bottles, twin and boppy nursing pillows. So I really am going to feel badly if this doesn't work out.

It must be so frustrating for you!

My best firend was able to overcome the same problem with her preemie twins...but her lactation consultant was helpful.(and she didn't have any other kids) She used nipple shields to help with the transferring from bottle to breast...and eventually did not need nipple shields any more.

Ignore what they said about the lactation consultant-call your local La Leche League Leader and put them to work for you. Tell them your story/challenges and they may be able to send someone to help you. You sound committed so it is worth a try.

Also-I think that there is a new hands free pump-that would help you some.

I commend you for being so dedicated : ) Do the best you can...don't be hard on yourself. And don't give up yet-the breast milk iis so important for them. (I am NOT trying to guilt you....more like pep talk you)

Good luck!


edited to add-I have to say all of the effort/money is worth it...you need to see your babies...they need to see you. Breastfeeding aside.

If you want me to put you in contact with my girlfriend who breastfed preemie twins please ask/pm me : )

And call the local twins/multiples groups...they could hep you with resources, lactation consultants, finding you a ride to the hospital. Also-what about social services?

Thank you - calling La Leche League is a good idea. I'll look them up and do that this week.

I've never BTDT, but wanted to offer support and gentle (((hugs))). I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Please take a few deep breaths and hang in there.

Originally posted by CherylE
Plus dh's starting to think they amounts they are taking don't warrent the $10/day parking, gas for driving in, plus occasional cafeteria food for me going in every day if they aren't going to be breastfeeding. (which given our finances - I do understand - but I don't want to stop visiting my babies). Plus then there was the cost of the electric breastpump, bottles, twin and boppy nursing pillows. So I really am going to feel badly if this doesn't work out.

I am sorry you are having problems bfing. :( I just wanted to say though that time spent w/ your babies is not a waste! Every drop of bm you give them is worth it's weight in gold (or more!!!)!!! Even if you can't keep it up, it is worth it to try. Please hang in there and keep trying... find a LLL leader who will support you.

Keep up the good work mama!!!

(((HUGS))) I can only imagine how hard this must be for you... I do think that breastfeeding or not, the effort & $ spent to see your babies is absolutely worth it - they are your babies! And I am sure that every little bit make a difference! I hope this gets easier soon....

Blessings,
Anne-Marie

Thank you for the support - I'm going to keep seeing them anyway - I know it's important to see them - I know my dh does too - but he only gets in a time or 2 a week - busy with work right now - trying to get as caught up as possible at work before they come hom. I'm going to be headed back in tonight again for a bit.

I'm not thinking of giving up feeding them breastmilk - I"m pumping double what they can eat right now and I am committed to pumping as long as I can also - even though it is more work than formula. They haven't ever had formula - they get bottlefed breastmilk.

My dad brought up a good point - the nursery is full up there and the hospital probably just wants the space - which is why they are being discouraging to me right now because if I gave up trying to breastfeed and just let her bottle - then she would go home sooner.

But I'm going to hang in there for now and keep trying. I'll try again tonight with at least one of the girls and try tomorrow and call LLL also.

I also wanted to say ~~You are awesome ~~~ You keep pumping and giving it to them through the tube if that is whats best for you all, their tiny little mouths will grow and in the mean time Contact the LLC that was mentioned in the above ~~ Sometimes , actually, many times the nurses aren't the most helpful in breastfeeding , nor are they the least bit encouraging. You keep up the good work and your efforts dear, it will pay off ---I'm sure your DH is overwhelmed , as you are w/ the finances and new babies and your other children. Maybe you could pump at home and then take the milk frozen or chilled ---You also shouldn't have to be paying every time to park, how ABSURD ~~ will the nurses not validate your parking ticket or anything like that ? --PLEASE don't give up !! but either way dear, don't beat yourself up, you are HUMAN --- and you can only take so much ~~ keep your Head up


Bless your heart ~~I'm glad you are all doing well :) just hang in there ~~~!!

Aack, I've BTDT, hang in there.

If you're parking in a garage, you should check with the hospital, they might be able to give you a temporary parking permit. That's what mine did.

Also, at my hospital I got different answers from different people, depending on who was on duty. They also think you already have been told things already by a previous nurse, whebn maybe you haven't. I found out weeks into Brigitta's stay that you can request specific nurses to be your twins primary, so they get consistancy from the staff.

If you want to talk pm me ;)

My ds was born at 36 weeks, so a whole month older in gestational age than your girls. They do tire very easily when they're tiny, it's true. But I think they get stronger very quickly. I remember being VERY overwhelmed by all of the work of keeping up my supply (and I hardly had any either) till he was ready to nurse, and I only had one. But here are the tips that helped me...

I got a wonderful lactation consultant that came to the house and helped me. The most helpful thing by far that she taught me to do was to use the SNS: Supplemental Nursing System, by Medela. Do you know about this? It is a bottle filled with your milk or formula, with a tube that runs from the bottle. You clip it to your shirt, then tape the tube right next to your nipple. As baby sucks, it is much easier for her to get milk, and then she also learns that she can get food from the breast, so she tries harder. As she gets stronger, she gets used to taking the milk at the breast, not from a bottle (which is a whole different kind of sucking entirely.) The best part is, that using the SNS counts as a pumping session since your breast is getting the signals from the baby sucking (even when it's very very light.) I highly recommend doing this! I was sure that my ds weren't going to be successful at nursing when he was just a few weeks old. But the SNS did the trick, he figured out how to nurse. I just weaned him in October, at 3 3/4 years! It can be done, truly it can. A supportive lactation consultant can do wonders to help though.

The other thing to remember is that babies start to get remarkably stronger and more capable to nurse as they approach their original due date. So for my ds, it was at 4 weeks of age, get it?

I would be happy to answer anything else I can. Take care, hang in there. It is worth it for them to get your wonderful milk. HTH, Laura

I'm so sorry you're going through all this, and mama, let me bow down to you right now as the GODDESS of BFing for doing everything that you've done with NO support and NO help.

Please, please get yourself ASAP to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples and join and post this post or something like it. There are many, many women on this list who have had twins, even triplets in the NICU and have eventually gotten them 100% on the breast. I have seen it happen over and over again on this list (yes, even triplets!). But it is a long road and you need really good advice and support and this list can help you get it. Please don't be put off by the "AP" in the title--we are all MOMs who have widely varying ideas of what AP is and BFing (or doing one's best to) is a major focus of the list regardless of other parenting beliefs. One person who is on this list who can be a major help to you, I think, is Karen Kerkhoff Gromada, author of Mothering Multiples, who can give you direct help and possibly connect you with an LC locally who is experienced with multiples/NICU/preemie issues and can provide some real help and navigate the politics in the NICU.

I'd also recommend getting a copy of Karen's book. Most LLL groups have a copy in their libraries (LLL publishes it) or the hospital library might have it. It has detailed chapters on managing NICU time to get the best start on BFing. Here is Karen's website too (she just put it up so there may be missing links): http://www.karengromada.com . Even if you don't join the list, please email her and mention my name. She *will* provide really useful help, I promise!

I was incredibly lucky to have an easy start with nearly-term babies but from hanging around that list I have learned a lot. First, it's normal to bottle feed preemies and it doesn't mean that all is lost for bfing. It will just take work. A qualified LC can help by giving some tips like using BF cues to bottle feed (tickling the baby's lips and waiting for her to open her mouth wide before putting the bottle in, using slow/no flow nipples like medela's haberman feeder, and others Karen can tell you). You can transition the babies to the breast over time, and it often doesn't happen until their due date or after, even with the most dedicated work. It's AWESOME that you're pumping enough for them--keep it up! That is really great and not everyone is able to do that right away! Also, your instincts are right about not double-nursing yet. That will come in time, but until they're bfing effectively (or at least one is) that probably won't be realistic.

Hang in there mama. You can do this. It's a hard road, but it's one many have travelled before. Your babies are sooooo lucky to have you!

I hope to see you soon over on the APMultiples list.

((((HUGS))))) there supermama!

Cate

I just want to offer you support! I KNOW you are a strong mama who can get through this!! Don't let the nurses bully you, when the girls are strong enough to feed full time, they will.

Theresa (littleturtleknits) just had a baby at 32 weeks in december, and it took him a while to be strong enough to breastfeed full time, it just takes learning & stamina. They will get it!

Mama, but I only dealt with one baby in this situation. It's so frustrating trying to establish bf when you feel like the hospital staff isn't being supportive. I cried and cried thinking that my 34 week preemie wasn't going to be able to get the hang of nursing, but with a lot of persistence on both of our parts he did bf ( for 3 years:). That being said I know you're situation is different and I do not know how big your girlies are. I was also told by nurses that ds would go home sooner if I would allow bottle feeding, he was mainly tube fed. It is awesome that you are able to pump enough milk for both babies; they are lucky babies that their mommy wants them to have her milk. I am guessing most twins don't get a lot of breastmilk. Persistence and encouragement are the key to success and like the previous poster said LLL would be a great place to look for support. One thing I would like to say is that how good of a Mom you are to these babes is not based on whether or not we can establish breasfeeding relations with our babies. I have been fortunate enough to be able to nurse both my children and am hoping to nurse this new baby as it is a closeness that I enjoy ( I am sure that's how you feel too), but I know that I'm not a better mom just because I bf. Does that make sense? When I was in your situation I put a lot of undue stress on myself because I felt like I would be failing my ds if I didn't nurse him and although I really enjoyed our nursing relationship and feel like it benefited both of us I know that it wasn't a necessity for him be well loved. Okay, I am rambling now. PM me if you need someone to talk to or if I can answer any questions for you and take good care of yourself.

Heather:)

I haven't btdt, but I want to send you cyber-hugs. What you are doing takes a huge amount of commitment & patience, and I am in awe of mamas who rise to overcome great obstacles.

Hang in there! We're all pulling for you. :D

I've totally BTDT....It's not easy. The others have said some wonderful things, so I'll just add that it's most important that even if you end up pumping all the time, that they get your bm. That's the only thing that made me feel better about the whole horrible NICU experience. And if it doesn't work out that they latch to you, do not beat yourself up about it. The most important thing is that they grow and are healthy - whatever it takes. Hang in there!!!! Hug them - hold them close every chance you can. They know it - even being so small - they know it....

{{HUGS}}

D.

hey cheryl, my babies were two weeks further along than yours so i did have it easier than you. i also had several years consulting on my side. even with that it was hard. really hard. it was absolutely beyond exhausting to pump, then go feed them, then wash everything, then go pump, then go wash everything. after several days i reached a point of actually fearing sleep. i am sure you know what i mean, it is an insane state of mind that only moms of multiples and soldiers reach i think.

i digress.

try your very hardest to look at what you are doing instead of what you are not doing. be proud of what you and your wonderful body have accomplished so far. try not to put too much stock into expectations (yours, dh's, nurses', dr's, anyone's). right now you have to do what you can and let the rest be.

do what you can do and don't panic about the rest. you will be surprised how this method will get you where you want to be with your babies. i do know how hard it is to give your baby a bottle when you just pumped. it was all so terribly difficult, without a doubt the biggest challenge of my life. you will rise to the occasion.

((((((hugs))))))) i know where you are. i wish i could hop on a plane and help you right now. the best i can do is offer a phone call. please pm me your # if you want me to call.

and i only have one nagging thing to say: i KNOW there are people asking what you need! tell them you need a ride to the hospital so you don't have to pay parking. let someone coordinate who picks you up and who drops you off. there is a reason you have celebrity status right now...it is because you need it.

you are doing great cheryl. please pm me if there is anything at all i can do for you from here.

just wanted to send gentle *hugs* your way mama....

No advice since I have never BTDT, but I wanted to let you know that I think you are such a wonderful mama for doing what you are doing. I don;t know if I would have been half as strong about the pumping and BF as you are, esp since you probably would like to rest rather than pumping. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

Hang in there mama.

You are doing great! How wonderful that you are willing to pump milk and provide that for your babies!!! Breastfeeding one full term baby is hard enough, 2 preemies is a real challenge! You're doing awesome.
You've gotten some great advice here. So I'll just give you a :thumbsup: !

{{{{{{{{CHeryl}}}}}}}}}

Hang in there...they will get it.

My experience, T. was not a premie, but had issues and was in NICU. I can't tell you how many times I'd show up and they'd be giving him a bottle, not only that, they weren't even using MY Milk:mad: I desperately tried to nurse him, and he just wouldn't...he didn't like the bottle either, most times he wouldn't take it.

When I finally was able to take him home, I resigned myself to the fact that he wasn't going to nurse because he never did while in the hospital :( but I would continue to pump and give him bmilk.

I decided to give it a try, and if it worked great, and if not, I'd be VERY disappointed, but at least I tried. WELL...he took to the breast like a PRO!!!!!! I had never been so happy. I think the NICU is such a *Busy* place, and he just shut down and didn't want to bother with anything.

I'm proud to say, he nursed for 4 years 9months.
Don't lose hope. I wonder if it would help to syringe/dropper feed them so that they don't get nipple confusion. More time consuming, but may be worth it in the long run.

GOod luck.

those nurses should be slapped by a bf boobie!! grrrrrrr :mad: call your local lllleader, also see that lc the nurse 'warned' you about-shame on her for saying that she'd just blame the bottles-duh-of course they are part of the problem! get a hold of an sns and feed your babies at your breast with your pumped milk and you'll get nipple stimulation at the same time, all the while they'll be sucking and learning to nurse. it's something both the lc and the lllleader will be able to get for you. hang tough mama, you can do it.

I don't have much time to post right now, buy my DH was a 30 week preemie (born at 3lbs and went down to 2lbs, lots of complications). He was in the hospital for three months and fed bottles while he was there. They didn't let my MIL nurse him and didn't give him the expressed milk.

The day she brought him home she taught him to nurse. He never had a bottle after he got home, so it must be possible. She describes having to actually teach him though...

All you can do it your best and you are, but don't give up hope!!

I've never been there, but I want to send you encouragement as well. You're doing the right thing and everything will work out!

Have you already purchased a boppie pillow? If not, send me a PM! :D

{{{HUGS}}}You are such a wonderful Mama! Those babies are so lucky to have you! I can't imagine how hard this is:( .I agree to contact a LLL Leader. Don't give up Mama! You are doing great!

{{{Cheryl}}}}}}}
Call LLL they love helping, you are absolutely not bothering them.
I know this is frustrating but it will get easier and it is so worth it.
You have my support, warmth, encouragement & hugs.

haven't read any other responses, but wanted to tell you that I absolutely know xactly where you are. I was in the same position not so long ago with Greg and the whole bottle-pushing NICU. Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of the stress you're already under.

Now, we were in a slightly different position because Greg nursed fairly well, but the doc still didn't want me nursing him at every feed, and they refused to let me demand feed him-they had to stick to the 3 hour enforced schedule. Which made it difficult for him to tap into his hunger, yk? So, I basically camped myself out at the NICU, and when he showed the slightest interst in nursing I would simply pick him up and begin to try to nurse him. Didn't ask anyone, didn't say I was goign to do it-I just did it. Most times, the nurses didn't say anything, but I had this one snatch who scolded me and said that I had to get her permission. Man, was she ever sorry she siad that to me. I laid into her with all of my pent-up anger and rage at the whole situation, and told her she could shove it cause he was MY KID and I didn't need her permission to feed MY CHILD.

One thing that my friend (Kay Hoover, whois an amazing lac. consultant) told me to try if he struggled nursing at the breast was to get a french 5 NG tube with a 10cc syringe, and thread the tube down along the nipple so that when baby tried to nurse, the tube will give a boost of milk and still encourage suckling (it's basically the same thing as a suplemental nursing system, but WAY cheaper, LOL, since the SNS is $50!!)This way, it will satisfy the docs that the girls are getting the calories they need, but still helping the girls to become familiar with nursing and what they need to do.

Are you doing kanaroo care? I founf that when I was able to do skin to skin with Greg, he nursed much better afterwards. There were only one or two nurses who allowed us to do true skin to skin (him in a diaper, me naked ofrom wasit up, and him laying face down between my boobs, with tons of blankets over both of us, LOL) But it made a world of difference in terms of getting him *ready* to nurse.

Cheryl, you are doing an incredible job. Please don't take this the wrong way, but tell your DH to flip off. Even if you aren't nursing those baibes when you visit, they NEED you to visit them. That's the worst part about the NICU is that it completely short ciruits the bonding process, and the babies who are visited regularly and held and cuddled are the ones who do much better and go home sooner. It is so important for them to feel your touch and smell your skin. I would have camped out 24/7 if they had let me, LOL!!

Okay, I'm writing a book, so I'm going to just say one last thing. The most important thing right now is for those babies of yours to eat. So, please try not to stress so much about HOW they get mama's milk,, just that they are getting it and growing. When we finally convinced the doc to let us take Greg home NEw Year's Day, it was after he made me PROMISE that I'd give him a bottle every other feeding so that he could conserve energy and calories and use them for growing instead of feeding. Three days later I went to the pediatrician and he said "he's growing awesome! You can quit the bottles if you want!" So, take heart-the day will come when your babies are nursing and the whole horrible NICU expereince will be a thing of the past. Greg's 10 weeks old now and he's over 9 pounds!!! Every day the memories seem to fade a bit more when I look at how chunky and healthy he's getting :)

I promise-it does get easier and your life will get back to normal soon (well, as normal as it can get with twins, LOL!)

if you ever want to talk, vent, cry, or need someone who has been in the same trenches you're in, please don't hesitate to PM or email me. I'll even call you if you give me your #!!

Hugs mama!!!
They at least are getting your milk and that is wonderful!

You may want to consider the long term effect of not breastfeeding. If you think you could handle bottle feeding when the girls get home, then maybe that is what you may do.

But I encourage you NOT to give up.
It takes much more muscle power to breastfeed whereas the bottle just flows even when they are half asleep, KWIM?
Of course they are going to get more if they cannot vigorously nurse right now.

AS they grow I bet they will breastfeed much better for you.

Even if your finances are tight right now, Keep pumping and try when you can to get them to latch on without feeling to discouraged. I hope money works out so that you can be with the girls often for your sanity sake.

You have jsut come through a big situation and it is all going to take time. Dont give up unless you feel bottle feeding is just going to be best when you get home.
Love and Hugs!

My ds wasn't early or part of a set (lol), but we did overcome some major problems with latch and milk production. We were in the lac consultants' office every few days. We started with finger feeding (syringe w/tube taped to finger) to build up his weight (he lost over 15% of his birth weight) then progressed to tube feeding at the breast then, finally!, he got the hang of it. But it did take a while - and it was time consuming. I just kept in mind what so many women say on this forum - this too shall pass. It was such a happy day when we could get rid of those syringes. And, looking back, I'm so glad we went through it. For one, my dh could help with the finger feeding and - what a few have already said - the tube at the breast really helped with his learning & boosting my supply. I figure that the struggle to get by those first three months - lack of sleep, frustration, etc. - made it that much more special when he could finally bf w/o all the gadgets. And, let me tell you, our lactation consultants got a Christmas present... they were great. Definitely utilize their services, or LLL - the support is essential.

You're doing a terrific job - go with your instincts.

Many hugs to you. You've gotten a ton of great advice and love. I would like to add that it is never too late to nurse. I know a child who was almost 4 months when she arrived from Korea and she learned to nurse with an SNS in about 5 minutes. In the parking lot at La Guardia. Never give up hope.

Laurie

Ack!!! Kristerae!!

You had your baby!! She is absolutely GORGEOUS!!!!!!! I adore the name, too!

I want one! You're an inspiration--- and older than I am, even. LOL

WOW!! I'm gonna go search your birth story!!!



Laurie

PS How is you bladder...I fear I will lose mine if I have another. LOL

You've gotten some good advice here - I skimmed most, Cate and LittleTurtleKnits gave some good input (not to slight others - honest! there was lots of good stuff!).

Toby is nearly 4, he was a 26 weeker who spent til 1.5 weeks before his due date in the NICU, and he was only recently weaned (which I only did b/c it was easy to distract him, and b/c he was mostly playing with my boobies rather than eating which I just found irritating LOL).

Toby first suckled at my breast at 32.5 gestational weeks. He nursed once a day til he came home. At that point, I *GRADUALLY* (repeat, gradually) upped the nursings and decreased the bottle feeds. It took a few months after homecoming for him to be completed nursed.

Firstly, I would not worry too much about bottle vs. breast in the NICU. What you want most of all for there to be one or two solid nurse sessions a day until they come home. Preemies are highly inefficient at nursing - it takes a lot of energy (i.e., calories) for them to BF. So your goal should be a bit of practice for the three of you, and some good nipple stimulation for you, until they get home. I was never able to get any noticeable breast consumption while Toby was in the NICU - ie.., weighing before and after nursing, the scale never noticed much milk consumption. Either he wasn't consuming much, or more likely - it's just a lot of work for preemies to nurse- so they use up calories as they consume them at the breast.

A long way of saying - do NOT worry too much at this point about them getting bottles. Preemies do not act like full term babies as far as "nipple confusion" goes - and a big job of theirs at this point is to grow and get big and healthy enough to come home. There's loads of time after that to convince 'em to nurse full time.
The whole nipple-confusion "worry" is based on behavior of regular full-term babies, not preemies. Preemies are not simply little full term babies - they act differently, and developmentally - in my opinion nipple-confusion is a later worry than one that occures during pre-term baby developmental phases.

Once they get home - go from the once a day nursing, to three times a day for a few days, to four times a day for a few days, to 5 times a day for a few days...etc. Continue to do some bottlefeeds.

It took immense patience to get Toby nursing full-time, but it is possible. Partly, we lucked out - Toby was definitely "into" nursing. Partly, it was a whole lot of hard work - it is probably my hardest, biggest accomplishment in my life. (This from someone who has run two marathons and written a dissertation....getting Toby to nurse full time was a lot more work and took an immense amount of patience).

Toby was an incredibly pokey slow nurser for MONTHS. He would nurse for an hour and 15 minutes, and then want to start again 45 minutes later - he was on a two hour schedule of eating, where he was nursing for more than half of it. It was exhausting. As a 26 weeker, he was on the other end of the pokey, inefficient scale - yours are on the same scale, but you can expect them to be a little better :)

And as for visiting every day- it's worth it. Ask the hospital social worker if they can give you parking vouchers, or maybe meal vouchers. (We got free parking; we went to another hospital for a Toby surgery a few months ago and got free meals too).

La Leche wasn't much help for me, tho I wouldn't rule them out. The ones in my area didn't have much info re. preemies - they kept telling me all the full-term stuff re no bottles etc. and that just wasn't feasible (or correct in my opinion). I DO think that there's a lot of variability in terms of what different La Leche folks say/know/do - so by all means, pump them for info.

And lastly - find your own lactation consultant. The one in the hospital where Toby was born was phenomenal, and she worked really well with both the regular nursery as well as NICU babies. You can hire your own. It'll pay off in the long run.

Kudos to you for doing such a good job - and keep us posted :)

-- Sara

I just wanted to say what you are doing is an amazing gift to your sweet babies. I have no idea exactly what you are going thru but I know it is must be incredibly hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. They WILL get it. You will get through this.
Kaliana (now 1.5) was not a preemie but born weighing in at 4lbs 4 oz. due to part of my palcenta dying. She wouldn't stay awake to nurse for anything. I could get her latched on but only part of the time and that was it. I could squeeze it in her mouth and it would just fall out. SHe just didn't have that sucking motion. Her mouth was so tiny and she just wasn't mature. THe nurses told me to try no more than 20 min at a time (it was a very pro bf hospital) after 20 minutes both mom and babe get so tired and stressed out. AT this point it is important to keep your little ones stress levels down. SO for a month my little one got EBM in a bottle non-stop with the occasional succesful nursing of 5 minutes. Eventually by time she was 2 months old we were rid of the bottles. Just had to wait until she was awake enough to nurse. I know there are a million tricks out there to keep a nnursing baby awake and I was successful using those with my 34.5 weeker son Riley (5lbs 9oz) but for some reason my little girl just didn't get it. So to make a long story short. Each baby is different and eventually your sweet babies will be able to do it. THat is why they have a special mom like you who knows what is best. Trust yourself. Don't think for a minute you are doing the wrong thing. What is most important is that your children are nourished and gain weight. And I so understand the pain of doing the weigh ins before and after feedings. It is just so hard and I am just so sorry for what you are going through.
I tried the supplemental nursing system and for me it didn't work because I was just so stressed but it has helped so many people I know. I did have a bit more luck using the finger feeder by medela. You may want to see if someone in your local Breastfeeding Resource Support center can help. Talk to the lactation consultant even if she isn't that experienced with preemies sometimes it just helps to have someone around who is pro bfing. I had to talk to a couple til I found someone that was really helpful and they have contacts too. We rented a Lactina Plus from a local pharmacy for $50 a month and was reimbursed by insurance because we had her doc write a prescription for it.
For me the nights were the hardest part was the nights. Waking up every 2 hours to pump was exhausting. One of the most helpful things for me at night was to put a cooler with ice next to my bed and have bottles ready to be pumped into by my bed. That way I didn't have to get up and go down to the kitchen. Most important...I had a great support system. Surround yourself with positive people. I had a terrible time with the nurses at the hospital. I felt like an inadequate mom and like she wasn't mine. It will get better that lucky day you are all together.
Sorry for such a jumbled long-winded post. I will keep your family in my thoughts. Please take care of yourself and don't forget to drink more water than you think you might need.
Oh and when i was at the hospital I was told by LC to just rinse pump parts and bottles in really hot water. It worked okay for us and my daughter was pretty sick with jaundice.

P.s. It is definately true about taking a lot of calories for the babies to nurse and that is why it important to not try for an outrageous amount of time.

Mama, I only have one child and she wasn't a preemie so i don't have any advice. I just want to say I think you are awesome! Breastfeeding is hard normally and you are super-mom to have 3 other kids and be doing this too. I hope it gets better really soon for you. :heart:

they look SO good in the pictures!

and don't worry about pacifier use at this point either- they're still figuring out how to coordinate suck/breathe/swallow, and any sucking they do is good.

--Sara

cheryl:

forgive me if i repeat. i haven't read all the posts, as i'm short on time, but i wanted to say two things:

first, i fed a heart baby, which isn't the same thing, but a lot of the same problems, especially dealing with the nurses in the nicu, who weren't real happy i was breastfeeding. if i can help you at all, i'll be happy to call you and talk about anything you need, just pm me your #

one of my best friends, a surgeon, bf'd preemie twins. with one breast! (she's a cancer survivor). it was very hard at first, but she snarled at the nurses a lot and had lots of help at home -- she still has full time help (4 kids, the twins are 3). i think there's a lesson in the having lots of help thing.

hugs honey! please, please let me help if i can.

joyce

Thank you all - I'm pretty wiped out right now - so I just want to say thank you and I"ll print this thread out for reference - so much good advice here - I really appreciate all of you taking time to respond. I"ll need to read through it all again later for sure.

There was a supportive nurse today (YAY!) who helped me get Megan latched on THREE times AND let me have her earlier than "schedule" when she was awake and looking interested - so I got three nursing sessions with her today. Megan took 5 CC's, 25 CC's and 10 CC's - so she's starting to get the idea.

She also had me do skin to skin once with Maribeth and try to nurse her again later (she didn't do much for nursing) - but I'm feeling a lot better today. Plus the nurse let them nurse (or tryO until they were tired and then tube fed them the rest instead of taking them away after 5-10 min attempted breastfeeding and then bottling them (like the nurse yesterday). This nurse will be on tomorrow.

Oh AND she let me hold both girls at once ( a first!) and co-bedded my two girls - so they at least have each other now. Maribeth is small - but this nurse said that she'll stay warm o.k. with her sister - where if she was a single baby - she would still be in the incubator.

This nurse also has put in a request to have a social worker talk to me to see if there's anything that can be done about help with parking and so on.

Also I picked up my mom and Melissa at the airport tonight - so all my older three kids are home together again!

I still need to call LLL - didn't get to that today, contact the hospital lactation consultant, sign up for the apmultiples yahoo group and so on - but I'm definately feeling better today. I'm encouraged by the SNS idea also - I can do that when they come home no matter what happens in the hospital.

yay cheryl!! i think the sns is a definite plan for you, mama. and i agree that *any* daily bf sessions done in the hospital nicu is a plus. these babies are going to THRIVE on your milk, you'll see ;)

And now you know that nurses are different and have different approaches, so if one you don't "match" with is on deck when you're there, all you can do is manage the interaction, and know that a different one will be on shift the next time (or soon).

Honestly - it sounds like the BFing is going VERY well - you should feel proud.

Keep at it - Sara

Wow. You made me cry. :thumbsup: What a difference an understanding and compassionate nurse makes. It's wonderful your girls can be snuggled together like that. What good medicine. I am also glad your other children are together. You've been through a lot, Mama. You're so proactive--I am sure the nurse saw your dedication-- and bless her for helping your heart get what it needs.

What a lovely family you have. Many blessings to you.

Laurie