I dont know what is wrong with me, but if we have even a little bit of extra money (by extra i mean $ that we werent expecting or has been earmarked for bills) I want to spend it. Even if I know that it would be put to better use paying on a bill, or saving it. I dont know what it is, but I find myself looking at things that we cant really buy and wanting to get them no matter what. I havent done that, but i want to kwim?
How do i stop that feeling?

Edited

Avoiding stores definately helps. Also, I find when I go with friends for their shopping needs, I tend to buy "a little something" for no reason. I also found that when I re-visit the dumb crap I bought and haven't used, it really helps me stop buying more crap....not sure if that makes sense, but it works for me.

There are times when I just spend, or go out knowing that I will spend money. For me shopping can be a matter of servival. It is not a niche that I can make "go away", it is a necessity. And I call it "Retail Therapy". It gives you a reason to go out... it gives you a reason to feel normal (whatever that means, but shopping is something everyone does)... it often gives you things you love.... and when it doesn't see rule #1. lol!

Two things that I keep in mind about this pattern:
#1, You can ALWAYS return if you keep the recipt, if you loose the recipt, take it back and get a store credit... then keep that store credit until the next time you need the Retail Therapy. Then you spend 1/2 as much on the two sanity saving trips. NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT TAKING SOMETHING BACK BECUASE OF THE INCONVIENCE ON THE CO. This is what they are there for...

#2 If retail therapy keeps me sain, it is worth the 19%. There are days when a $6 trip to Goodwill is JUST what I need... I like letting Alex and Cyan play while I look at the kids clothes (just across the isle from the toys) and just Retail Therapy myself. And as long as I always go to Goodwill intead of the mall, I spend less than I would anywhere else I went on any day when I am feeling like this.

Love Val

Edited to change ENTIRE post... sorry guys. :p

My tried-and-true method is to jot down the "want" on a list of wants/wishes. Then I feel like I've heard myself, LOL.

I take the list with me when I go garage saling and thrifting. I also occasionally (as time/energy permits) post to trade on Amity's and just "put the word out" for what I am looking for. If it's a book, I check the library and if I can't get it, I put it on ILL, then my Amazon wish list.

Sometimes I just need to acknowledge the "want" and then after a month or two, the desire for the item passes.

If not, I try to raise extra money through selling other things, or sewing extra stock, or whatever - so that the money doesn't come from our budget. Would it be best to do the "extra" work and put the $$ toward bills? Yes...but...we do all desire material objects from time to time. At least this way it isn't out of our budget...and it's only after I've exhausted all other avenues and still really want the item.

Sometimes I do just treat myself, too. :) Probably way too often.

I also just avoid stores like the plague. Dh does the grocery shopping. I just rarely set foot in a store anymore. Or I go without any money or cards just to browse, w/o the kids (seriously, I know, I'm weird).

I guess my big thing is I want to get things for the kids. I rarely ever spend any money on me. But if I have an extra $5.00 I will spend it on something rather than putting it in savings or towards a cc bill. In my head I know that it would help a bit by going to the cc, but I rarely ever do that. I just dont understand why. I can go to a store and come out with nothing at all. But we never have any money. Somehow I end up spending it. I want so much to get the cc's paid off, and have money in the savings account so that if (when) we are hit with unexpected expenses or a rough patch, we wont be struggling or putting it on a cc for a long time. I guess I need an accountablity partner. For when I do get that urge to buy something we dont need, or cant really afford.

I bet having someone to be accountable to will help you a lot. And I totally know what you mean; it feels that way here a lot, too.

I tend to indulge the kids, too, more than myself. I have "gotten over" this recently as we finally have gotten to the point where we are *overloaded* on toys. Just think how much easier it is to pick up at night when there are fewer toys...and if you need to, sell off things they don't play with and use *that* money to buy long-lasting, open-ended toys that you are pretty sure they will absolutely love.

(From a mama who still has WAY too many toys and books for her kids.)

This is my issues too until recently and I am still fighting it. I convinced myself we don't have extra money to save (because when we fist got married we didn't really- what's the point of saving pennies monthly is what I thought). Then our income increased and I just spent because I still didn't think we should bather trying to save (duh). I don't spend more than we have but we save nothing. I get child support that we don't ever depend on and I spend it as quickly as I get it because it is not for bills.
I opened a savings account recently and I am starting to find savings really rewarding. I am proud for myself lol! So I keep saving a bit here and I have stopped buying anything unless I *think* about it for at least a few weeks. That has helped a lot because I tend to forget about what is really not important! LOL!
In short tho, I feel your pain! LOL!

My big spending problem is that I have the (almost) uncontrollable urge to shop at the times when we have the least amount of money available. Like if we bounce a check - it seems like the very next website I'm at is ebay or mycoupons (to see what's on sale) or a WAHM site. I know why I do it though. I get so bummed that something bad has happened financially (bounced check, big auto repair bill, etc.) that I figure we've blown the budget for the month and why bother trying to not spend. I also think it is a bit of a comfort thing (i.e. oh, I feel sad - buying something new and pretty will perk me up!). One of the biggest helps to me has just been realizing that I do this. It used to be a bit subconscious, but now when budget is going down the tubes, the truck's in the shop or I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I make a conscious effort to avoid any shopping temptations such as store websites or mycoupons.com which is my biggest downfall - after all, how could I possibly pass up this great, never-to-be-repeated, stupendous deal???! Lol.

Originally posted by mamabear
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Sometimes I just need to acknowledge the "want" and then after a month or two, the desire for the item passes.

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Wow, that's pretty profound. I didn't realize I did that, but that is exactly what I do often. I make out a wish list often - of things I'm looking for, and would like to get a good deal on. I rarely ever get what I want, because like you said, after a while the initial "want" passes, and the item seems less important. And I generally do get the things that are really important.

I tend to be a saver though. I was soooo poor when I was a single mom - starving poor and too proud to ask for help. I never want to be in that position again, and I know how easily situations can change. I want to have some backup funds to get me through just in case. Yk?

And I do believe that it's what you do with those "pennies" that determine the kind of life you will live. And, lest I sound too prissy and perfect for you - I tend to be the one in my family that "overspends". I too know oh so well the "need to spend $$". It is a comfort thing, but seems to be less and less of an issue for me as time goes on. Maybe I'm just getting old. Sigh...