Mamas,

Please Bump this, even if you are not responding? I'm at my wits end here. (hence the yelling icon with my post)

I hope someone can help me.

My sister-in-law has COMPLETE records for my husbands paternal side of the family. *But*, she will not share them with me. My mother-in-law plays these same games with any photos of my husband from his boyhood. (we can't get these either...whole other story as to why this is going on and it has to do with religion)

I sent my sister-in-law money last year to pay for copying the records and shipping them. She cashed the check and never sent me anything.

My daughter, who is 11, really really wants to join DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) and you have to prove that you are a direct descendent of a soldier from this war. We know for sure that she (my daughter) is a direct descendent and it is on my husbands paternal side.

Hence, our begging for these records.

I am giving up on getting my sister in law to share the information she has. She wants me to send more money, but I am not going to do that again. (we are not made of money, for crying outloud)

How do I start from scratch and do all the research on my own???

It is crazy to have to to this when it is already done but I can't make my husbands (crazy) family share and it is causing a lot of hard feelings for us towards my husbands family.

So, I am just going to do this all on my own.

I need to get original copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates, death certificates, for *each* member tracing back from my daughter to this ancestor who served in the war. DAR requires original certified documents.

I am very very frustrated here.

I just hate letting my daughter down like this over and over again because of my lovely (sarcasm) in-laws.

Where in the world do I start? (and no, they won't do it when my husband asks....they are trying to "punish" us re: religious choices we have made adn think keeping genaology is a good "punishment")

All I have is back to my husbands dad. Nothing before that. This is the only way I see this getting done.

Please feel free to PM me if you want and are willing to help direct me here.

Michelle

Have you tried contacting the Family History Center in SLC? I am assuming the geneology records you need are from LDS members of your dh family, if so then these records are available to anyone. Go to the website www.familysearch.org and poke around. I can get you more info. if you need it. You can also go to your local family history center (lds) and ask for help. I used to be WAY into geneology in college (took a few classes), and I am sure I could help someway. Please let me know as I can also ask my friend how to go about this search (she is the Family History Specialists for our ward).

~Amanda

Hm...I think it depends on where you live, as to how I'd start...all the info you're seeking is public information, and the state or whoever would have it, if you know where fil was born, start with that city or county, to get official certified copies you will likely have to pay a fine of some kind, but I don't think it's that much. I think some places even let you mail in for it, because my mother needed an official copy with the stamp or seal or whatever on it when I needed a passport, and she was able to do everything by mail.

On the other hand, Mormans keep detailed files, and are usually willing to help people find out that kind of information regardelss of religion. My grandparents used them to help track down stuff when they were doing this years ago, not sure if they had to go to Salt Lake City or just happened to be passing through on thier trip or what, but someone here should have more info about that. :)

hth!
jessica

Here are some sites you can check out:

http://www.gendex.com:8080/display?page=surnames&

Type in the surname of the last ancestor you can remember and work from there.

Another good site is: www.familysearch.org

it's thru LDS. That might also help.

Good luck. Sorry your IL's are being such PITAs. Kinda lame.

Frustrating. I am sure you have explained to your family *why* you want the information...sorry they are being that way.

My suggestion was the same as everyone else. Have you contacted the Geneology Library in Salt Lake? I am sure your family has filed the information.

Kimberlee

Originally posted by seattlemama
Have you tried contacting the Family History Center in SLC? I am assuming the geneology records you need are from LDS members of your dh family, if so then these records are available to anyone. Go to the website www.familysearch.org and poke around. I can get you more info. if you need it. You can also go to your local family history center (lds) and ask for help. I used to be WAY into geneology in college (took a few classes), and I am sure I could help someway. Please let me know as I can also ask my friend how to go about this search (she is the Family History Specialists for our ward).

~Amanda \

Amanda,

Thanks! You know what, I *think* only my husbands dad is LDS (converted when he married dh's mom). But, I bet with my dh's moms side of the family being LDS waaay back to Prophet Joseph Smiths time that someone in the family has sent in names and whatnot into the church to do baptisms and sealings.

So, if someone has done this (sent the info into the church already), then it will be easier for me to gather up?

I am bookmarking that site and crossing my fingers that their names have all been sent in for baptisms already.

I'll touch base with you again later. Thanks so much.

Hugs,
Michelle

Originally posted by ElDucko
Hm...I think it depends on where you live, as to how I'd start...all the info you're seeking is public information, and the state or whoever would have it, if you know where fil was born, start with that city or county, to get official certified copies you will likely have to pay a fine of some kind, but I don't think it's that much. I think some places even let you mail in for it, because my mother needed an official copy with the stamp or seal or whatever on it when I needed a passport, and she was able to do everything by mail.

On the other hand, Mormans keep detailed files, and are usually willing to help people find out that kind of information regardelss of religion. My grandparents used them to help track down stuff when they were doing this years ago, not sure if they had to go to Salt Lake City or just happened to be passing through on thier trip or what, but someone here should have more info about that. :)

hth!
jessica

Thank you for the idea of where to start. My dh's family is LDS/Mormon but not his Dads side of the family tree (which is what I need) from what I know.

If I can't find info with the sites so far given, then I'll go into the local LDS family history center....I'm hoping I can do this online though so I can use odd hours (like early morning) to work.

Thanks mama!
Michelle

Originally posted by April
Here are some sites you can check out:

http://www.gendex.com:8080/display?page=surnames&

Type in the surname of the last ancestor you can remember and work from there.

Another good site is: www.familysearch.org

it's thru LDS. That might also help.

Good luck. Sorry your IL's are being such PITAs. Kinda lame.

Thank you for the sites. :)

If I start with the last ancestors name that I can get. I think that will be my husbands grandmother and grandfather. I hope my dh knows their full names. *lol*

Thanks again,
Michelle

My dad is into genealogoy, and he has gone to the LDS archives to do research. He has found members of our family there, even though noone in our family tree is Mormon. They keep any records they find in their archives, as far as I know.

Originally posted by milehighmama
Frustrating. I am sure you have explained to your family *why* you want the information...sorry they are being that way.

My suggestion was the same as everyone else. Have you contacted the Geneology Library in Salt Lake? I am sure your family has filed the information.

Kimberlee

Kimberlee,

Thanks :) You are correct, I have explained why we need this info. (for my daughter to join DAR)

It is just a power thing. I honestly think that my dh's family thinks they can reactivate us with this ploy. They mean well, I realize in their own distorted way *lol*....but it is messed up IMHO.

I do vaguely (sic) remember back about nine years ago, that my dh's sister was talking about planning on starting to send in names from the paternal side of the family. Nobody else would do it (grudges and whatnot) and she talked about starting it herself. I am hoping that she did get at least a good measure of this done. I suppose the only way is to do a search on the last name at those sites? I wish I had helped her get it going but I was busy during those years doing the work for my own side of the family.

Thanks Kimberlee. Hope everything is well at your home.

Hugs,
Michelle

Originally posted by norasmama
My dad is into genealogoy, and he has gone to the LDS archives to do research. He has found members of our family there, even though noone in our family tree is Mormon. They keep any records they find in their archives, as far as I know.

Good deal! I appreciate hearing how your dad went about it and how easily he found info. Hoping having one side of my dh's ancestors being Mormon/LDS will make things easier for me.

I just get a headache to be honest thinking about tracking it down one person at a time, but I suppose it would be educational!!

Hugs,
Michelle

Michelle~ Just FYI the LDS site doesn't have just LDS member in it. My family and dh's aren't LDS, but some of them are in there. Good luck.

I have been researching my family for the last year and have found a TON of stuff online. Then I can get the addresses of the county's vital records department and send for copies. We qualify for DAR, but unfortunately, one link is broken as the courthouse that had the marriage records of my gggpa burnt to the ground in 1856 w/ all documents. Go figure.

I have found a lot on the LDS site, also www.rootsweb.com and ancestry.com

I've also used the Family Tree Maker CD's and their web site. I've actually traced 2 sides of my family back to the late fifteen hundreds in Europe (and found out I have a Baron as a grandpa (many times over)) :D

good luck! And feel free to PM me with names and I could do some research for you on my Family Tree CD's.

Julie

Julie,

Thank you for the advice! Thanks to all the mamas who are helping me out.

I'm also trying to work with my husbands family...I'm not going to give up yet.

But at the same time, I'm going to try to get some names and start on this myself with my daughter helping. (when she wants to...I don't want to burn her out)

Julie what a frustrating thing about the courthouse burning down with the missing link you need for DAR. I hope that does not happen to us.

Thanks again mamas, you are all great!

Michelle

:)

The Mormons actually burned down the courthouse that had records I need to discover what group of American Indians I belong to! Seems they got into a little squabble with the locals when they tried to settle in Missouri. It always kind of amuses me.
And the LDS records contain lots of non Mormons. Just be sure to do your own record checking. Not a problem for the ancestors you need to trace for DAR but a caution for others. I have seen so much sloppy and inacurate work and people with the best of intentions send it in to the LDS. It's still great to have, just treat it as a place to look, not as absolute truth.

Originally posted by mamatanya
I have seen so much sloppy and inacurate work and people with the best of intentions send it in to the LDS. It's still great to have, just treat it as a place to look, not as absolute truth.

My father has found the same thing. People have the option of sending their info into the LDS record center, and of course they assume that it is accurate. In my family there are a lot of men with similar names, causing confusion btween uncles & nephews & sons & cousins.

I haven't ever really gotten into the genealogy, mainly because I see how addictive it is once you get on a roll. My parents now go on genealogy vacations, where they spend time in little courthouses searching records & old cemeteries doing rubbings of headstones. It really is neat to find out where you came from. Good luck in your search, Michelle.

Thanks for the advice to not take it as being totally accurate, I'd not have thought about that but it makes total sense.

I know it is not funny like "ha ha" funny....maybe ironic would be the term I am looking for in reference to the courthouse having been burnt down by early members of the LDS/Mormon church and now it is the LDS church that does so much work for genaology. From history I've read, it sure seemed to be a unstable time for LDS and non-LDS folks back then.

I hope I don't run into any big barriers like burn down courthouses when I start searching!!

I can see how it would be addictive!

I did finally get a hold of my sister-in-law. She has lots of names and dates but nothing "official". She agreed to share the names she has and I can go from there.

I told her I'd mail her copies of any birth/death/marriage certificates that I get. (which will help her with her LDS baptisms/endowments and whatnot that they will do for their dead ancestors) I'm glad she will at least share that much...she still won't mail me documents, but from what I understand if I have names and maybe states where the person lived, I can start searching from there?

I'm also hoping if I share freely with her, she will feel guilty and reply by sharing with me. :)

Thanks again mamas!!

Michelle