Jordan came home from school and told us he got punched in the nose by a boy during rest time. He turned his head and then the kid wiped a big ole spit wad on him. At first Jordan said he didn't tell the teacher, but then said he forgot, but yes, he did and she didn't do anything.

BUT to make matters worse, during this time, the tattle taling subject came up. Apparently the assistant teacher told the entire class that if they tattle tale, they will go to the principal where they will get a tale put on the back of them and will have to walk around the class the entire day like that. How humiliating!!! And what a great way for kids to feel like they cannot talk to the teachers and trust them!!!

I called the school to talk to the teacher, but she was no longer there so I mentioned it to the person in the office and she said my son must be mistaken. He told me this in detail and he is not one to embellish stories. Forget details sometimes? Sure.

Needless to say, I'm going in to have a little talk with them first thing in the morning. He's only been at school about a month and a half now and he's already had a kid kick him, throw a things at him, have kids picking on him b/c he didn't stand right at the urinal and now he's been punched in the nose and had spit wiped on him. Homeschooling is looking REALLY good right now.

*Hugs*

Hope you can get everything worked out.

We homeschool now because of issues with the school.
Ds .. a whole 38 pounds and 45 inches was getting bullied by a boy my size. So he was losing his play time ..."they don't single people out, everyone loses their play time if they are involved"
:confused:

Ummm, no, wrong. How awful! I agree Mama, you have every right to be ferocious! )o: I'd go in there and let them know your son was bullied and that you refuse to have him thinking he is supposed to tolerate abuse and bullying cause of their "I don't want to hear it" tattletale crap! Ask them when they DO want to have the kids "tattle", ask how far it needs to go in order for the child to be "ok" to come and tell someone! Grrrr....and we wonder why kids are dropping out and feeling fed up and needing to take care of these bullying issues on their own. )o: Sad.......

You have every right to demand this not remain the schools policy on bullying....and don't let them tell you it was "not bullying but just kids playing" crap........arghhh......I am aggravated for you!!!! LOL.

Cindy,

That is awful, I hope you can get things worked out. I would like to hear thier explanation of the "tail" thing.

Right, that's just one more thing I dislike immensely about public schools...they teach kids to just "mind their own business" and "don't be a tattle tail". No wonder we all grow up with very little sense of community.

Erin :)

:( I'm so sorry Mama. :( LMK if you decide you want any hsing info. I have some great book titles and website links.

I taught public elementary school for 12 years and this shocks me. I would go directly to the teacher when he arrives at school, with your concerns. If you do not get heard, go up the ladder to the principal. Then to the superintentent if you have to. This is totally unacceptable for a child to be unsafe. Any teacher worth their salt will find a way to address this so it does not happen again.

I've never heard of a school that would tell children to keep quiet about bullying. Tattle telling is totally different than keeping children safe. Tattling is when someone tells on someone just to get them in trouble. It's not tattling when someone is being hurt physically or emotionally. It is sad that people think of us like that. To think someone could be hurt and I would say "mind your own business don't tattle" ??? That is absurd and you should not only pull your child out of that classroom but have a firm balanced discussion with the superintendent and the media.

Well, the thing is, she didn't give him this "lecture" in reference to this.

Rather, this is what HE understood tattle taling to be, I guess. Telling the teacher anything on anybody. At least that's what I get from what he's telling me. :)

Originally posted by whmscldragonfly
Well, the thing is, she didn't give him this "lecture" in reference to this.
Rather, this is what HE understood tattle taling to be, I guess.
Sounds like a great teachable moment for you and your son! :)

Wow...well please tell me what I should have learned b/c the only thing I have learned is that this teacher can threaten kids that she'll put a tail on their bums if they "tattle tale". The only thing I have learned is that this teacher told the class this and made at least one child think that he cannot tell the teacher things.

I also learned that regardless of whether someone has the title "teacher", it doesn't mean it makes them a trustworthy person.

Sorry, but I am peeved majorly that she thinks this is okay to threaten the kids. And, I am pretty sure this was simply a threat (and lie) b/c she told them she would go to the principals offices ti get the tail and when I called down there, she said (in the office) that she had no idea what I was talking about. So either someone is lying to me or the teacher is lying and threatening the kids with this. Sorry, but, yes, I consider this threatening my child with humiliation.

Cindy,

I think it is horrible that your son's teacher is bullying him and allowing another student to bully him. My dd's school DOES NOT ALLOW bullying under any conditions. A child will be suspended after the second incident.

The school had each child sign a "No Bully" contract. I would suggest that you approach your ds's school with this idea.

Oh and in my dd's school your son's teacher would loose her job for those actions. The teachers were also required to sgn a "no bully" contract.

Please let us know how things go in the morning.

My heart hurts for you and your son.

Ben came home last Tuesday with a huge bite mark on his back. He got it at recess. He wasn't even going to tell me but he was changing for swim class when he got home and I saw it then. Luckily the skin wasn't broken, because I would have head straight to the ER. I know human bites can be very serious. He told me this kid came out of nowhere and bit him on the back from his class and he cried. The playground monitor didn't see the incident and told him to go play somewhere else. (My son hardly ever cries.)

He never told his teacher when he came in from recess. (Asked him about it and he said that he didn't think he could tell her if the monitor brushed it off so easily.)

Well, I wasn't going to let this go. My dh was actually afraid that I was going to say something (like pull him out of school since I can't be guaranteed his safety?) that he went to the school the next morning to talk to the principal. The principal said the boy was going to be placed in counseling and then Ben came home and told me that the boy was suspended for two days.

I don't even feel justice was done. The playground monitors need to be watching those kids. I know there are a lot of children out there, but I just have a deep feeling he somehow indicated the wound, even still wouldn't it have shown up on a white shirt, teeth marks or a wet spot or something??? Anyway, I know this was a little OT on your rant, but I wanted to let you know I felt your pain.

Steph

Originally posted by whmscldragonfly
Wow...well please tell me what I should have learned b/c the only thing I have learned is that this teacher can threaten kids that she'll put a tail on their bums if they "tattle tale". The only thing I have learned is that this teacher told the class this and made at least one child think that he cannot tell the teacher things.

I also learned that regardless of whether someone has the title "teacher", it doesn't mean it makes them a trustworthy person.

Sorry, but I am peeved majorly that she thinks this is okay to threaten the kids. And, I am pretty sure this was simply a threat (and lie) b/c she told them she would go to the principals offices ti get the tail and when I called down there, she said (in the office) that she had no idea what I was talking about. So either someone is lying to me or the teacher is lying and threatening the kids with this. Sorry, but, yes, I consider this threatening my child with humiliation.

Unfortunately, in order to keep the kids "in line" and in the little public school box, she may feel like she needs to humiliate and there is absolutely NO excuse...it makes me sick to my stomach!

I would have that teacher on notice (and homeschooling) so fast it would make her head spin...go to the principal AND the district immediately. If kids can't bully, teachers can't either.

I had a teacher that hit me in the head when I was a kid and my parents didn't do much about it because they, too, were raised in the PS system where the teacher is always right and justified...

Do what you know is right mama.

Erin :)

EVERYTHING EVERYONE ELSE SAID!!!!!! AND...

the teacher should have called u. as a ps teacher ANY time there was a physical altercation i called home to let the parents know about it. it would go something like this...

"there was an incident at school today. i did not see it but spoke to both kids afterwards. one thing i am clear on is that your son was punched in the face. the other child says it was in self defense, however it was never clear was your child alledgedly did. i'm sorry that this happened at school today and your child had a very rough day." blablabla.....and then let the parent ask any questions and do thebest you can to answer. paretns mostly want to know that you are watching ans addressing situations.

and beleive me teachers do know who started most of the time. even if they can't say.!!!!

DEFENITELY go down to the school and sort this mess out...

sorry both of you had a crappy day.

Luna

This is one of the MANY reason's I will be homeschooling dd when she is school age. There is NO WAY I would put up with that from ANY teacher. So I suppose if a child sees some other child with a gun in their backpack, they figure they better not be a tattle tail cuz they will have to wear a tail? No wonder the PS system is so bad. This makes me so angry. We had to put up with a lot of crap when I was a kid in school because of our religious beliefs. They forced holidays and such on us which we choose not to keep....it used to make my Mom so mad. We would come home with stuff she instructed teachers not to make us do. I have no respect for teachers like that. I would definently go to the principal and higher ups with this. And to the teacher in person and voice your anger about this. Let us know what happens, I'm curious as to how this will be handled. Good luck mama...don't take any bull!!

Many crazy things happen at school. I remember in first grade, I had a teacher who actually did attach a tail to you for tattling. To this day I am still confused as to what is what. I do not think that a teacher has the right to brush off what is going on in their classroom and threaten the victim for telling on the kid attacking them. I know that for quite some time I hid during recess just so I wouldn't have to see any of the other kids. I never told on any one for any reason, even the time a kid pulled up my dress so four other little boys could see my panties. Humiliation is a tactic that works. I hope I can spare my kiddos some humiliation. Do what you can to find out exactly what is going on in the classroom. It might not be an environment you want your little boy in.
Good luck!!

____________________
Mandy
SAHM to Phaolan and Brenna, Loving wife:heart: to Craig.
Brenna (10 mos)
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Phaolan (7)
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Originally posted by whmscldragonfly
Wow...well please tell me what I should have learned b/c the only thing I have learned is that this teacher can threaten kids that she'll put a tail on their bums if they "tattle tale". The only thing I have learned is that this teacher told the class this and made at least one child think that he cannot tell the teacher things.

I also learned that regardless of whether someone has the title "teacher", it doesn't mean it makes them a trustworthy person.

Sorry, but I am peeved majorly that she thinks this is okay to threaten the kids. And, I am pretty sure this was simply a threat (and lie) b/c she told them she would go to the principals offices ti get the tail and when I called down there, she said (in the office) that she had no idea what I was talking about. So either someone is lying to me or the teacher is lying and threatening the kids with this. Sorry, but, yes, I consider this threatening my child with humiliation.
Guess I misunderstood, I thought you didn't talk to the teacher just the office staff (who in general can be clueless). And I thought it was the assistant teacher (many of whom I have also had problems with as a parent and a teacher) that made the remark. Perhaps the assitant teacher needs more observation from actual educators.

Of course that is humiliation and is stupid. Again I would first talk to the teacher AND assistant teacher directly, then the principal then the superintendent. They may be unaware that the assistant teacher has said something so dumb. And the assistant may lie about it, I wouldn't be too suprised.

I would also sit myself in the class to observe as long as I felt I needed to. Sometimes that helps the teacher straighten up or for the parent to see what is going on, you can take notes in to the principal. Then you can decide whether to pull him out and how high to take the complaint/concern. People say stupid things, but as teachers we need to be super careful because some off handed remark can be misunderstood by kids. Or not.

Sorry, sometimes I talk in "teacherese". I meant that this was a "teachable moment" for you with your son, to teach him the difference between tattling and sticking up for yourself regardless of that the assistant teacher has told him. And that sometimes it's hard to do the right thing, but he did the right thing in telling you.

Since we're all talking horrible school stories, when I was in elementary school (K or first grade) at lunch I didn't like some of the food that I had gotten in my lunch (I had paid for a school lunch), and so while sitting with my friends, I was mixing up the foods that I didn't plan to eat. Well, a lunch lady came by, saw me doing it, scolded me and made me take a bite of the food I had mixed up (mashed potatoes, beef gravy, and some kind of cherry dessert...it was pretty gross, and I can still remember the taste). I can still remember that day, and being embarressed as she made me do it, and feeling that since she was an adult I had to do what she said. Personally she had no right, since I had paid for the food, and should have been able to do what I wanted with it.

And my younger brother was bullied and picked on at elementary school and eventually was pulled out to homeschool.

We homeschool here. Wouldn't do it any other way.

That's awful Cindy :(. Deffinately raise heck at that school tomorrow. We all hope that all our children's teacher are wonderful, nice, kind, trustworthy, fair, etc... Teachers are human and some (hopefully very few) are JERKS!

In 4th grade I had a music teacher who refused to allow students to go to the bathroom. She told us she would give the girls corks and the boys rubber bands :rolleyes:. One day I couldn't hold it and I just walked out. After I used the bathroom I went to the office because I was afraid to go back to class. I was crying to the secretary (who happened to be my neighbor) because I was sure I'd get in trouble. When I told her everything including the rubber band and and cork threat she sent me in to the principles office. He talked to other students in the class to verify what I said and the woman was gone (I assume fired, maybe she quit) within days.

{{hugs}} Cindy, protect your baby :(.

And my son got seperated from his entire class for the day because he ALMOST called a girl something. Thats against the no bully policy at Devin's OLD school. At his new and improved school, I no for a fact that his teachers commend him for catching himself and thinking before he talks. I know this because I'm his new teacher.

I had a similar incident in which Devin was kicked in the groin by a student -It left bruises, and he told his gym teacher, his regular teacher, his teacher's aid, and they did nothing. When I went to the school in the morning they actually pulled him out of class to say that he had not told enough people. I went nuts! How many people does a kid have to tell?!? One - mom. I took care of it. I am so happy Devin is staying at home with me now.

I'm so sorry for you and your situation. Get it straightened out right away. I feel so bad for kids that are picked on. I know most teachers work really hard trying to help the kids. Devin had several wonderful teachers, but sometimes the beauracracy really gets in the way. Good luck!