If you overheard someone talking about your friend, WWYD?
Whether it was good or bad, or somewhere in between, would you tell your friend that someone had been talking about them?
I have a friend who owns a shop in town. She has told me in the past that she's pretty sure this guy who owns the competition talks about her behind her back. She's had a few things get back to her. I overheard him sort of bagging on her this afternoon. Nothing too bad, just generalized her store sucks kind of stuff.
Would you say anything?
FWIW, he didn't see me until after he and this other chick had spend a good 10-15 mins ripping on my friend. Then he realized who I was (I had my back to them the entire time), and after that, he was soooooo friendly to me.
in that case, because it isnt super personal, I would tell her-- just something like remember when you said you thought so and so was talking behind your back? he is LOL
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i've had something similar happen.
i said something to the person AND told my friend...and when i later found it continued i told my friend about that as well. (the follow up was not something i had heard but rather something that several people came to me to tell me about, said to them...or i would have said something to the person again.)
Was there anything about the conversation that could have been constructive criticism of her shop? If so, I might give her the advice, in a positive way, without mentioning the source.
If it was just catty BS, I wouldn't pass it along.
I think if I were in your shoes(and I have been in very similar situations), I would have said something to the man gossiping, along the lines of "wow, I don't believe that's true, I know her well and I've always found that she...." and follow with something positive. Then depending on the situation I might also add "Blowing out someone else's candle just makes yours look dimmer..."
It would probably depend on what was said whether I'd repeat it to my friend, unless she brought it up I might say, "yes, I've heard him saying things like that."
Money follows service. If she's doing a good job and putting herself out there, the quality of what she's doing will reflect more on her than anything he can say.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phunkymama
Was there anything about the conversation that could have been constructive criticism of her shop? If so, I might give her the advice, in a positive way, without mentioning the source.
If it was just catty BS, I wouldn't pass it along.
Was there anything about the conversation that could have been constructive criticism of her shop? If so, I might give her the advice, in a positive way, without mentioning the source.
If it was just catty BS, I wouldn't pass it along.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandi
My thoughts, exactly
well, it was actually both. The only reason I considered saying anything to her is b/c this has been going on for a while, and it is hurting her business. She's the new kid on the block. He's been in town for quite a while, and her shop has only been open for 3.5 years. He's in tight with the locals (pertaining to their businesses ), while she is still struggling. She has a great shop, she provides AWESOME service (I became friends with her b/c of this, b/c she is so friendly and helpful and genuine).
The biggest gripe that this man and woman had was that her prices are high. They were badmouthing her b/c she offers high end products, and the prices to go with them. They think that she is stupid b/c she only caters to a high end crowd, while his shop has a mix of everything.
He even admitted to this woman that he had never actually been in her shop, he's just repeating what someone else had told him.
My personal opinion of this guy is that he's a shmuck (yes, I do know what it means ) and his business is hurting (as is everyone else's around here) and he thinks if he says crappy things about my friend to all the other locals, they will avoid her shop. He is at a serious disadvantage in some very important ways. His shop is small, crowded and dirty, and he gives people the heebie jeebies. The only reason I go there is that he also happens to carry a product that is unavailable ANYWHERE else (he has an exclusive contract). He has a crappy business ethic, and I really shouldn't shop there and support it, but I really like this product! Heck, my friend has even shopped there b/c of this.
UGH! Anyway, yes, some of it was constructive criticism, and stuff that she would be interested in, and the other part of it I think she should know b/c this guy is trying to hurt her business.
Oh, and as far as confronting him personally, I tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible b/c I wanted to see how far he would go in bashing her, and once they were done with the conversation, I made my presence known, and he knew I had overheard them. It was actually kind of funny how nice he was to me after that. Then he tried gossiping about another friend (all connected to the same field), and apparently the way I glared at him was enough to shut him up. Seriously, total shmuck...
One word....Karma. Hopefully people will see him for who he is and see that bad mouthing a fellow businesswoman is very unprofessional.
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One word....Karma. Hopefully people will see him for who he is and see that bad mouthing a fellow businesswoman is very unprofessional.
yup, that's why I didn't actually *say* anything. He knew I had overheard, he knew what he had said was wrong and mean spirited, and I'm pretty sure is a believer in Karma, and that it will bite him in the @ss eventually.
I would pass on anything that may effect her business. Nothing else.
If it were a more personal situation I have an instant solution. As soon person A starts bagging on person B, I say, to person A.
"Just so you know, I refuse to keep this conversation private. everything you say to me, will be repeated back verbatim to person B."
It's odd. But no one at my church will gossip with me.
If it were a more personal situation I have an instant solution. As soon person A starts bagging on person B, I say, to person A.
"Just so you know, I refuse to keep this conversation private. everything you say to me, will be repeated back verbatim to person B."
I love that, I will have to keep it in memory for when a situation like that arises.
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Mom to Lawrence 8, Azaria 6, Laurel 4
Whether it was good or bad, or somewhere in between, would you tell your friend that someone had been talking about them?
I have a friend who owns a shop in town. She has told me in the past that she's pretty sure this guy who owns the competition talks about her behind her back. She's had a few things get back to her. I overheard him sort of bagging on her this afternoon. Nothing too bad, just generalized her store sucks kind of stuff.
Would you say anything?
FWIW, he didn't see me until after he and this other chick had spend a good 10-15 mins ripping on my friend. Then he realized who I was (I had my back to them the entire time), and after that, he was soooooo friendly to me.
Nope I wouldn't tell her. IMO that would do nothing but hurt her. I would, however, have a few choice words for that guy. I can guarantee they wouldn't have gotten in 10-15 min of ripping on any of my friends. I'd be ALL over that.
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), while she is still struggling. She has a great shop, she provides AWESOME service (I became friends with her b/c of this, b/c she is so friendly and helpful and genuine). 
) and his business is hurting (as is everyone else's around here) and he thinks if he says crappy things about my friend to all the other locals, they will avoid her shop. He is at a serious disadvantage in some very important ways. His shop is small, crowded and dirty, and he gives people the heebie jeebies. The only reason I go there is that he also happens to carry a product that is unavailable ANYWHERE else (he has an exclusive contract). He has a crappy business ethic, and I really shouldn't shop there and support it, but I really like this product! 
Heck, my friend has even shopped there b/c of this.
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