amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Charity · 05-27-2004, 11:00 PM

I've heard many negative things about schools, and just wondered how many people are experiencing positive things.

djmdj · 05-27-2004, 11:13 PM

My kids are all in public school - just completed 8th, 4th and 3rd grades.

We've had wonderful experiences! They are friends will all different kinds of people. The teachers have been kind and wise. We haven't had any problems with gangs or drugs or anything like that. They go on field trips each year (well, elementary does).

They all love school. Both my parents were public school educators, so we are huge supporters of public education and of the teachers and school system. Maybe that has something to do with how the kids experience things or maybe it doesn't.

Anyway - we are a success story!

lamade · 05-28-2004, 12:13 AM

My children attend public school. DS just finished Kindergarten and it was a great experience for all of us. He had a wonderful teacher who was easy to work with to provide the extra attention that he needed (highly gifted child) even though the school system does not provided this type of specialized education 'officially' until second grade. DD completed 8th grade and it was a positive experience, but not as great as DS's (hey, it's Junior High, what should I expect, right?).

I have found that alot of parental involvement makes a big difference. So, I am VERY involved and at the schools at every chance possible.

Another success story

RightMama · 05-28-2004, 12:23 AM

Mikayla just finished 1st grade and we have had a wonderful, positive year!! I think alot depends on the teacher. her kindergarten teacher at the same school kind of sucked, so it wasnt as great a year as this year.

Harley begins K this August at the same school.

skyclomom · 05-28-2004, 01:26 AM

Chloe just finished her Kindergarten year and loved it. She had a great teacher and a nice brand new school with a wonderful Chancellor. I was very skeptical(sp?) about sticking to public school. We had such a great experience, we're going for another year. Not sure what will happen, though, because 20 to 1 is about to get canned. I don't think I want her in a larger class than that.

~Denise~ · 05-28-2004, 03:08 AM

My kids are in one of those overcrowded public school places.

I love it. LOL. I have a 13 yo who is now completing 7th grade, with all A's....again.

And who is used to those overcrowded classes.....the ones with 25-30 kids in them. It's never been an issue EXCEPT when they toss in some of the troubled kids....THEN a class of 30 suddenly seems like a class of, oh, 100. The troublemakers take up all of the time and this is when overcrowding has been an issue for us. And when it is, we complain. And we demand change....and we get it. LOL. Advocate for your kids and be involved....do those 2 things and I think most public schools would be fine. Sadly many parents are not, and pass off their kids and kids needs to the schools.....not helping out with work, issues, etc., resulting in over-worked teachers and fed up teachers and kids. Find a school with a zero tolerance policy, and involved parents and you likely have a sucessful public school. I am always, always amazed, sadly so, to read some of the public school experiences here, on this board. The bullying ones mainly. I would never, ever tolerate that. I'd be at the newspapers and school boards, my kids would be OUT of school til it was solved. I have never heard of some of the things I have heard here happening in our local schools. It makes me want to cry for the kids! )o: However I know it happens....I grew up in a nice, very wealthy area of Ca. No one was violent, no fighting, nothing like that. No bullying. Yes, there *was* cliques, and you best have money to fit in...lol...but if you didn't, you were ignored, not beat up. I moved in 7th grade and from that point on I went to different schools....all of which scared me! I went from a school where there'd never been a fight and no one did anything more than kiss to a school where people had sex and talked about and kids beat one another up daily! I was horrified and vowed I'd never raise my kids there....hence why I moved to Oregon. LOL. (o; I could not afford to live in the nice areas of Cal., and refused to raise my kids in what I saw and felt were the risky areas. I'd move anyday, in a heartbeat, if it meant keeping my kids in a safe neighborhood and schools......

So yea, lol, we have had great experiences here with public schools. My 13 yo has been in public school her whole years, and so has my 7 yo, who will be in 2nd grade come fall. (My 13 yo will be in 8th) My son is 5 1/2 and he will start K in the fall, at the same school my 7 yo goes to. I have no complaints, I love this area for the great schools and the no violence policy in all the local schools. (o: The teachers are very receptive, as are the principals and other school board members. There will always be teachers that your kids don't "click" with from time to time...and sometimes you need to request a class change to find a better fit....but all in all, if you live in an area with like-minded and involved parents, you will see public schools you are happy with. JMO. (o:

Rachel · 05-28-2004, 09:12 AM

This is Austin's last day of 2nd grade. He is soooo sad because he loves school and wishes he could go all year. He has gone to this same school since K and has always had perfect report cards. He reads well above his grade level. His teachers love him and he loves them. I can't think of anything he hasn't liked about school except suddenly this year when his older cousin started going to this school and wouldn't eat cafeteria food he decided he didn't like it either (thank goodness his cousin is leaving) There is a lot of parent/community involvment at the school and I think that helps sooo much. Next year Trey will be going to K there and he can't wait either. He already knows a lot of the kids and teachers and I expect his experience will be much the same as Austin's. We have discussed the possibility of private school for 6th grade and up and I guess we will just play it by ear and see how those schools are doing as the time gets closer.

Breila · 05-28-2004, 09:33 AM

Gee, we had a mixed experience, I guess you could say. DS just finished kindergarten. We loved his teacher, and I think she did a wonderful job. The size of the school still overwhelms me, 1300 children in a K-5 school, I just think that is way too big for an elem. school.

I was bothered by a few things that the school did that probably wouldn't phase most parents. Everything in the cafeteria was disposable, meaning they had approx 900 kids/day (factoring in those who brought their lunches) throwing away a styrofoam plate, a plastic fork and spoon, and a milk carton or juice can. There were also too many extras for the kids to buy in the cafeteria. I signed a form at the beginning of the year that stated DS was only allowed to buy milk and/or lunch if I didn't send it, but when I questioned why his account was drained so quickly, I was informed that he had been purchasing cookies and YooHoos! So they didn't exactly pay much attention to that form, huh?

The principal's number one concern is keeping her school number 1 in the county. She does it well, but I hear she rarely takes individual needs into consideration as a result. Her year-end letter informed us that they would be adding more mobile units next year and that if we didn't like it, we should have our children re-assigned.

Bren had a good class for the most part, but he did have one child that stole stuff out of backpacks and took a few things from Brendan. We got most of it back, as the child's mother was very helpful.

Anyway, it was a mixed experience. We will probably send him back to 1st grade next year, but I am also trying to get myself geared up for the possibility of homeschooling.

jma924 · 05-28-2004, 10:24 AM

We've had a wonderful experience with dd's elementary school over the past 2 years....although it is overcrowded, I feel that the teachers and staff have done their best to try to meet the needs of each student. My daughter's teachers have always been willing to give us supplementary work to keep her challenged (she's working above grade level and gets bored with the regular work). Some of the other kids are nice and she's made good friends...a few of the other kids in her classes have been "less than desirable," but she has enough sense to steer clear of them....besides, she'll have to deal with these people in "real life" when she's older, so it's probably best that she learn to deal with it now!

Charity · 05-28-2004, 10:32 AM

Thanks for your posts!

We've been homeschooling/unschooling since our kids were born, but I have been recently wondering if my kids might actually benefit from a school setting (not a public school, but we're looking at schools that requires uniforms) while they are young. As my son gets older, the things I need to teach him to keep him up with his peers, are getting bigger, and requiring far more time. Ds is fighting that time, wanting to do other things, that don't pertain to schooling or learning per se. He'd rather play with his Power Ranger figures, or rollerblade than sit and read a book or do schooling stuff. Reading isn't his thing, and he'll do it if forced, but not for enjoyment. There are days the kids complain about having to do schoolwork of any kind. We tell them all the other kids are in school, but I don't think they really get it.

And as much as I thought only being with each other (sibling-wise) would be a positive thing, they are wearing on each other's nerves being around each other all the time. Our house is small, so they aren't getting personal time alone without each other. Our neighborhood lacks any children their ages, and dh and I share a vehicle so getting out only happens on occasion. So they are in the same house every day, with the same people everyday, and with the same toys and playthings everyday. It may have been fun for a while, but now they seem bored out of their minds. Even when we get a chance to get the car, I can't think of anywhere to go. Only place that doesn't cost money is the park (has to be one not tied to a school otherwsie they have to wait until after 3), or the library. And there are only so many trips one can take to the library in a week, before even that becomes boring. Ds wants to play boy stuff with other boys, and the girls want to do girly stuff with other girls. Playing with mom and each other, just isn't the same anymore.

I honestly think my kids are bored. They have way too much free time and thus don't know what to use it for. They end up bickering and arguing, teasing each other, or misusing toys in a way that something gets broken or someone gets hurt. I get tired trying to plan out activities for each day just so they don't have too much free time to cause trouble. If we had more money, I reckon we could take them more places, and see more things, or buy items that allow me to teach them something new (which is what I like to do that leans towards unschooling).

We've joined a homeschool group, but the activities aren't constant enough to keep the kids busy. Most activities have been geared for older kids, and only here and there have they offered things for younger kids. We've tried doing playdates with other homeschool moms and everyone is always so busy doing their own thing. As much as I love having my kids home everyday, I am not sure that it is best for them. My girls keep talking about how they want a friend (a girl to chat about girl stuff to), and I can't figure out how to make that happen for them. I could put them into dance classes or something like that, but it would cost us a fortune to do that each year, and they would only be going 1 time a week, for 1 hour. And there is no guarantee that the girls they make friends with, will actually be able to come over and play at our house. If it's too much trouble for the girl's mom, then my girls may only see them that 1 time a week at class. Homeschooling, has really been a lonely process for us. When the kids were younger, that was okay. I liked the time I had with them, when they were eager to learn about everything. Now they are older, and wanting to have friends, and wanting to get out and do stuff, and our budget can't afford that, and we can't figure out where to help them make good friends.

Dh and I have been considering puting the kids into a local school where they would have the same kids to talk to everyday. They could build a good bond, since they see them all the time. The kids each lunch in their classroom, and only have recess with their own grade (which avoids any concerns about teasing coming from older kids). The kids would have access to being on a sports team (paid by the school), which they don't have access to right now. They would have planned and structured activities to do for most of each day. And they would still get freetime in the evening to play with their siblings or bake with mom. The school we're looking at asks for parent involvement, and they say that on a regular school day you can find at least 8 parents somewhere in the building doing something. They also offer a room just for parents to talk with each other, leave notes on a bulletin board for other parents, or check the school computer where you can access all your child's papers and tests and keep up with what they are doing, and what they haven't gotten done. It just seems like a positive thing for our kids.

I think dh and I are fairly sold on putting the kids into school, and a part of me still wonders if I am making a wrong decision, since I have been such a supporter of homeschooling for so long.

I still plan to homeschool as we approach the older grades, since we have big concerns with schools during the teenage years. But I think I'll be able to sell my kids on the idea of finishing school at home quickly and being able to get a job to make money for a car.

Kelly · 05-28-2004, 11:52 AM

Skyla has 3 more weeks left of Kindergarden. It has been an awesome experience. She has grown so much in the past year. She is no longer shy. She is independant. And best of all she is learning how to build and maintain relationships with her peers. Skyla loves her school and so do I.
I TOTALLY agree with the poster who said that Parental involvement makes a HUGE differance, and I am willing to bet the people who complain the loudest about the public schools dont become involved in their childs school.