amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Journey · 10-05-2007, 06:01 PM

We have lived here a year, have three children 7,5,2 whom I homeschool, and have made good friends with the neighbors. They are taking care of their 8 year old grandson and his parents who have recently become handicapped.

Their grandson tends to get in to trouble in school, with authority, etc. They have the perception that people are just picking on him, dont understand him, and just don't understand how children in general behave. Yet after having him over on several occasions I will say that he is very disrespectful and clearly spoiled.

Usually I just dont pay much attention to the things he does or says, but if it starts to affect the way my children are behaving or disturbing our house rules then I will say something to him or send him home.

Today he came over to play. I asked him to play outside while my children came in to eat lunch. I had a funny feeling inside so I continually checked outside on him while he was out there. I watched him sit down and pet our puppy. Then he started to pet her around the neck and it looked like he was beginning to squeeze her neck. I heard her start to gag and I knew he had to be choking her. I opened the door and said hey, please dont squeeze the dog's neck. He said I wasnt. I told my son to hurry up and eat so he could get back outside to keep an eye on the neighbor boy.

Now Im questioning myself about his actions. Was he really trying to hurt her? Was he in fact choking her or am I just being overly sensitive? If he was, what should I do?

I dont want to cause a conflict between ourselves and the neighbors. We really do like them, but its this subject that is definitely a sore spot for them. I really dont trust him and it makes me feel like keeping him away from our kids, but I know that would be a terrible thing to do to him and my kids as well. I tried to talk to my older two about letting me know if he tries to hurt the dogs while he is over, but they are having a hard time understanding. Also Im afraid if I say too much they will repeat things to his family while they are at his house playing.

What do you think I should do? This is a very uncomfortable situation to be in.

Korwynne · 10-05-2007, 06:48 PM

why didn't you send him home since it was lunchtime?

I wouldn't leave him alone with my kids or my pets.

Journey · 10-05-2007, 06:57 PM

That was my first thought, but then I changed my mind knowing how quickly my son gobbles down his food. He came over about 5 min. before they were to eat and wanted the older two to come to his house. So I didnt think it would be a problem for him to be outside for a few minutes and send them back together to his house. But now Im beginning to think he has more issues than I know of. I feel like I should alert his grandparents, but I dont know how to tell them without coming across as just another person picking on their grandson.