amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

cristian_bella · 08-16-2006, 11:22 AM

Ds turned 5 in May. He's my first dc. I wonder if anyone can enlighten me as to if 5 y.o.'s are capable of thinking prior to acting? It seems he's very impulsive at times and will do something hastily without regard to what may follow. Also, he is aware of some of the rules we have in the house (e.g. no excessive splashing in the tub), but he will do what he wants anyway

Am I just a big stressball over this?

Korwynne · 08-16-2006, 01:51 PM

He should have some impulse control but probably not total yet.

cristian_bella · 08-21-2006, 04:41 PM

Thanks, Mama.

TulaneMama · 08-21-2006, 04:50 PM

cristian_bella · 08-21-2006, 04:58 PM

Thanks, Ashley, I needed that

Maidenmyhome · 08-22-2006, 01:35 PM

Ok..Im new but heres my 2cents...
Dont sweat the small stuff !!!
Focus on the rules of the house that are safety related or respectable behavior towards you and others.
With the other ones GET CREATIVE !!
eg....splashing in the tub..It really is fun !!!however not great for the floors!! After he has co-operated with getting all washed up,Shut the curtain or shower doors and let him have a 10 min splashing time!!! or until hes tired lol!!!
Look for win win solutions and compromises.

Amber, mama to 15ds,5 dd,5 dd,1 ds.

Have fun everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cristian_bella · 08-22-2006, 03:13 PM

Thanks, Amber. Creative idea! I need to learn to be more playful and creative with my parenting. I know ds reacts better that way.

My concerns are when there are kids around him or people around him and he doesn't think before doing things that can hurt others. It's not intentional, but it still puts others in harm's way. For example, he loved hearing the "ting" the sound of the playground equipment makes when you throw rocks at it. It *does* make a cool sound! The only problem is he doesn't think that he's throwing rocks in close proximity to other kids and he could hurt them. And he's aware that throwing rocks is a rule that's not okay. He just got so caught up in doing what he was doing, he didn't think otherwise. Afterwards, he wanted to shake his shoes out with his hands on the ground and foot shaking in the air. Cool!

Only, he's doing it in the face of another child and doesn't stop to think about such things. Is this pretty typical for this age? Or am I just expecting too much? Like I said, he is my first, so I don't really know. Thanks for your help

Maidenmyhome · 08-23-2006, 11:14 AM

Hi Again...
Just from my experience thats a pretty normal thing.I do often have to remind one of my 5yolds to pay better attention to whats around her.They are still getting used to the idea that they are really not the centre of the universe!! LOL!!(at least not to others!!LOL!!)That will definitly come in time with lots of reminders and showing him the consequences.(like others COULD get hurt).
Keep things consistant.EG..sand in shoes..show him a special spot on the playground where no ones really goes and let him do it there.Throwing stones when others ARE around is not ok,try tapping the stones or visiting the playground when no one is there,reminding him of the risk of hurting others.
Im by far an expert..those are the things that I would try,all else fails dont bring him there unless he understands those rules of safety.If he does it anyway,leave immediately.He'll get the hint.(eventualy!!!)
Now..if I can just get my 14mth old to sleep LONGER that 2hrs at a time through the night!!!!!!!!..................................... .lol!!! actually it not funny.
Amber

cristian_bella · 08-23-2006, 11:42 AM

Thank you, Amber. I appreciate the feedback, it's very comforting.

I hope your little one (and you) get some well deserved sleep soon.

Alohamelly · 08-23-2006, 12:01 PM

We used to be a Waldorf family and even though we aren't anymore, I still like reading Waldorf inspired stuff. Here's a good article:
http://www.waldorfinthehome.org/pare...ung_child.html

cristian_bella · 08-23-2006, 12:48 PM

Melly! Wow, that one's going on the hard drive for future reference and reminder! It was *so* pertinent to our situation, particularly about the boundaries and our feelings as parents. You hit that nail right on the head!

Maidenmyhome · 08-24-2006, 11:22 AM

Great Article !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you dont mind me asking...why are you no longer a waldorf family??
I think i will print that out and post it in my bathroom.whoever is in there wont be able to resist reading it!!!lol!!!

Alohamelly · 08-24-2006, 12:28 PM

We aren't a Waldorf family anymore not by choice, but because of the military moving us here and the nearest Waldorf is 2 hours away. When we first moved to NC, I tried really hard to make it work, we lived 30 away from post and I drove the 1 hour each way trip to Waldorf every day ... that sucked. In the end, I couldn't stay committed due to all the driving and gas costs so now we are public schooling. I sure miss Waldorf though.