Potty training advice for an extremely stubborn 3.5 year old girl
I am at my wits end. I have tried everything and nothing works. She's been interested in the potty since she was 18 months old, but has never intentionally gone on it. She sneezed one day while sitting on it and dribbled a little bit, but that's it.
Her doctor isn't concerned and said she'll start using it when she's ready, but I'm getting a LOT of flack from my family about it and to tell you the truth, I'm sick of diapers and pull ups.
The advice I received from family, and what eventually worked - do not buy more pull-ups/diapers. Make her wear only "big girl panties". We did have quite a few accidents (luckily we have mostly hardwood floors though) but she's gotten the idea now, and uses the potty almost every time. She too took an interest at about 18 months, and just turned three in May. The accidents are fewer and farther between now, and we've been able to go back to overnight diapers without her wanting a pull-up all the time. Heck, she currently prefers nudity! But on that note, she is getting better overnight and I think we're almost all the way done with diapers, period! It feels like it was easier to train the boy....
With Ryland - I knew he was ready, he told me he wanted to wear a diaper so he could "sit on the couch and pee" and I thought, no way buddy! We went to a playdate and I showed him how all his friends were wearing cool underwear and then we took a trip to WM and walked by the cool underwear and he wanted some and I just explained to him that he couldn't unless he went on the toilet - he insisted he could do it and that was it, we never looked back.
But... everything I've read and heard says that the more you pressure them the longer it takes - they have to decide on their own to do it.
Only one of mine was trained before 3 y/o, the others kind of dawdled around the issue (go on the toilet every other time ). The majority of them were trained by 3 yrs 2 mon. I did end up putting a few back in diapers because they were so challenging . However, I finally got fed up and told them "at the end of this pack 'we' are only wearing underwear - day and night!!! It took about a week and it's been fine ever since. Though it seems the boys tend to get more distracted and then have to make a run for the bathroom at the last minute.
I started out making my DD clean herself and the diaper up every time she used a diaper. And I mean clean it up completely! If poop fell on the floor while she was taking of the pull up, she had to “pick it up” , off it slopped on her foot so be it, she had to pick & wipe it up. At first she thought it was funny but after about two weeks of cleaning up her own stinking poop she wanted to try something different. So I bought her “yummy” worms ie, gummy worms, She got one for each time she went. But the major catch for us was finding her hot button, which was her favorite cartoon Dora. Each day I told her Dora was coming on but she had to go potty before she could watch her. That worked for awhile then she regressed. I bought a Dora doll on clearance and put it up high on the bakers rack in constant view. I told her she could ONLY have it if she went pee and poop in the potty for 3 days straight. (we made a sticker chart so she could watch the days). She immediately tried to go. Each time she went she would ask if she could have Dora, We would say “NO, you haven’t gone like you were sopose to” Eventually she wanted that doll so much she finally went with out any prodding. She started marking her own chart and was so proud she yelled “3 Days—me have Dora now”. No problems since!
I don't know if you have tried this, but completely stop asking her if she has to potty, etc. Act like you really don't care anymore. This approach is working wonders for a stubborn little girl and her family at work. Within a week there was a BIG change.
__________________ Claire,
(Mama to 2 boys, ages 5 & 3, Montessori Preschool Teacher, Mona Vie Distributor, etc.)
But on that note, she is getting better overnight and I think we're almost all the way done with diapers, period! It feels like it was easier to train the boy.... 
. However, I finally got fed up and told them "at the end of this pack 'we' are only wearing underwear - day and night!!! It took about a week and it's been fine ever since. Though it seems the boys tend to get more distracted and then have to make a run for the bathroom at the last minute. 
Claire,
Linear Mode
