amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

tikva18 · 07-03-2006, 11:32 PM

Rashi is turning 5, G-d willing , at the end of the summer. We are having him repeat nursery instead of entering kindergarten because he clearly is no where near ready. Socially, he does so-so - still does more side-by-side playing than interaction, skill-wise is poor, and does not follow directions well.

What should a child his age be able to do? I would like to work with him this summer.

TIA!

MotherMoon · 07-05-2006, 11:58 AM

I believe in letting a child grow at their own pace. I think you are making a wise decision holding him back. Samantha just turned six. In k4 (which she just finished), they were required to write their name, count to 20, know their address and phone number. Socially, they played pretend games like dress-up or kitchen together. Samantha is still in a side-by-side mode with classmates but plays very detailed involved pretend stuff with her sister who is 9. Samantha is used to being around older kids.

LatteLover · 07-05-2006, 12:04 PM

DD turns 5 the end of august and will be starting school. Let's see, school skills wise she can count to fifty, read up to 20, knows the alphabet and can recognize/write/read all of the letters. She knows simple words (cat, dog). She has a pretty good understanding of phonics and what sounds the letters make. She knows all of the colors. She can do things like, make up a story and then also make up a synopsis. LOL That really cracks me up. She gets that from reading the back covers of her books. She colors pictures using multiple colors as opposed to just one color (the teacher told us that is a skill lol). She can write her name. She actually has quite a bit of skills but she has been in a pretty structured preschool environment for 2 years.

tinyterror'sma · 07-05-2006, 12:09 PM

My just turned 5 yr old is similiar to leosmama. But she just started writing at Christmas after she got a Princess trace book and Daddy sat down w her every night. She doesn't want to take any "lessons" from me - just Daddy (there goes HS). She also has been in preschool since 2.5.

Our Kindergarden just expects that kids enter the class ready to listen w very basics (colors, counting, alphabet, writing). Anything they know coming in more than that is a bonus. But our school is also starting a free prek to bring those expectations up.

kimberlee · 07-05-2006, 12:13 PM

I have a 4 1/2 year old. He does interactive play with others. He CAN follow directions but rarely does. So he CHOOSES not to. During his speech evaluation this was very clear.

Our son can recognize some letters, the number 4 (after all, he IS 4), most of his colors. He can only count to 20 and then it becomes a jumble of numbers then 100, then 2 thousand 65 hundred. (Not sure how to even write that one out...LOL)

He does not start kindergarten until NEXT year. So we have a year. He is very ready to learn his letters but we have been concentrating on his speech.

Erica · 07-05-2006, 12:44 PM

Well I have had only one experience with a 5 year old so far. She seemed on target to me until her teachers told me she didn't follow directions well and seemed spacey. She also didn't join in in group stuff....would want to do her own thing. She ended up repeating Kindergarten (but at a different school) and her teachers told me the same thing but by the end of the year, she had made huge steps socially and academically without any intervention. She just needed more time to grow, that's all. I remember trying to teach her myself back when she was 3. She had no interest and I remember thinking something is wrong with her. This went on for a few years and then all of a sudden, she decided she wanted to learn all those basics and she taught herself in no time at all.

I'm now homeschooling her so she can grow at her own pace. So far so good!

mama2cntrykids · 07-05-2006, 01:05 PM

Well, I can tell you what my 5.5 y/o can do.

He loves to play with other kids, counts to 100 with some help, writes his name, knows the alphabet, can tell you letter sounds like ba-ba-ball starts with b, is getting much more independant for example pours milk for everyone at dinner, can make his own pb/j sandwich (with some help).

That's all i can think of, hth!

Adria · 07-05-2006, 01:44 PM

My daughter is 5, almost 6, but my MIL has worked with her a lot to get her "ready" for kindergarten. I am afraid she will be too far ahead of the other kids and be bored. She knows all her letters and sounds, can read some words, knows the basic stuff like shapes and colors, and can count to 100 with just a little help.

Every child is different, but Slow and Steady Get Me Ready (I think it's called?) has good ideas of various activities to help children learn at an age appropriate level.

tikva18 · 07-05-2006, 03:06 PM

Rashi knows his colors, but that's about it.

He cannot count to 10.

He does not recognize the ABCs, but does recognize a few Hebrew letters.

I do not believe that he knows all of the basic shapes.

He certainly cannot write his name, but he does recognize it in Hebrew.

He has some fine motor skills - can sort of cut - that's been improving, can't write at all - makes a very sloppy circle.

He stutters some of the time, but when he stutters it may last for days or weeks.

He does not know our address.

He does play interactively with his brothers.

I'd like to spend some time working with him. I have a very hands off approach to my children - that is: I let them play and what they do is child-led, not parent led at all. I'm thinking that this is a failing, because clearly if I had spent time working with im , he'd be a heck of a lot farther than he presently is. This also, I believe, manifested itself negatively in my older boys. So, perhaps, I'm trying to change the wya I parent.

MotherMoon · 07-05-2006, 03:17 PM

I am with you, I take a hands-off approach and help when asked. This has worked for us. I feel children mature when they are ready. Pushing them to do so earlier may work initially but will back-fire somewhere. Beth has often been behind in her studies but catches up with a little help. I let her ask. She struggled with ready but now reads well above grade level. She is struggling a bit in math now. But, socially, she is less mature than her class-mates also. Children age differently.

dawnygirl · 07-07-2006, 05:21 PM

My son will be 5 at the end of the summer too and he knows all his shapes and colors, abcs and recognizes them, can count to 100 (needs minimal help), can write his name (he knows how to but won't do it lol) Doesn't know our address.. but we did just move. He was on his way to learning our old address before we moved. He can also read basic words (cat, dog, mom, dad, etc..)

In all honesty, if you put him in school, they will pick up on the areas where your son is not up to par with the other kids and they will help them. He will be able to get speech therapy to help with the stuttering, OT to help with the writing skills if they find a physical reason for not writing. (My DS is in OT/PT for low upper body muscle tone and they help him with his writing because he cannot hold a pencil correctly)

Despite the skills my son has, he could probably stand to be held back this year instead of entering kindergarten as one of the youngest kids in the class. But really, if he falls behind or isn't liking it, I can simply pull him out and have him do kindergarten over again next year, so I'm not stressing it.

If you really want to work with him over the summer, get some Pre-K/K workbooks at the teachers store (or pretty much anywhere) and work on some things with him.

And follow your gut. If at the end of summer you don't feel he's ready, don't put him in kindergarten.

tikva18 · 07-07-2006, 07:38 PM

He's definitely NOT going to kindergarten - there's no space for him - the classes fill very quickly. We have to decide the previous January where the kids will be in the fall. The school does offer speech, but nothing else.

sbdonahue · 07-23-2006, 10:45 PM

You did the best thing for him by allowing him another year to grow. It's important to understand that a child's brain is most open to learning reading concepts around ages 6 and 7, yet as a society we label kids that aren't reading by the end of kindergarten as "slow learners". There is something rather hypocritical about that.

That being said, your son sounds like he is expressing all the great things that he has learned through play. I think that if you want him to do more academic type things than you need to introduce them to him. You can do this through play with things like sand--write the letter large in black ink on a piece of white paper and cover it with sand, have him trace the letter through the sand. You can have him cover letters with pasta or buttons or other types of small objects. Play board games with him to work on numbers and social skills. And of course, read together and often.

Mama, always keep in mind that we expect our children to do so much at such a young age nowadays. I'd combine his play learning with a bit of directed learning and see how it goes. If your goal is to have him taught in a teacher directed setting than sitting with him and working on academic type skills will only serve to help him become ready for Kindergarten when his time comes.

Good luck, with a lot of love and patience he will continue to grow.