help me with this dialogue...3 year old cleaning up...
me "it is time to clean up"
savannah "i need your help"
me "i am helping...you need to clean up the dinosaurs...i'll clean up the dollhouse"
savannah "i need heeeeeeeeellp"
ok...help me have a more sane conversation
__________________
~julie~
mama to savannah, jackson and a baby girl due in 2009!
well..i'm not the person to ask..I say it's time to clean up and Eli just stares at me like I've gone over the edge. He won't help me until I get the broom out..then he wants to "sweep" in his 3 yr old way...aaaargh..
Sophie at 17 months is more help than Eli, seriously.
__________________
Meg
Mama to Alexis, 21; Jacob, 18; and Elijah 11/20/02 and Sophia Jane, 11/20/04
Allison took this picture of my lovely girl:
At that age Ava was hopeless- suddenly "I'm too tired." "My arms don't work." "I'm too little." and on and on it went..I tried the "Let's race!" and she would answer, "You win!" or "I quit!"...I had to help more than I wanted, but eventually she did more...although she doesn't always want to clean up, even now at 6 1/2. She has improved a ton, though. She often spends an hour or so organizing her room and is proud to let me in when she is done so I can applaud the progress. She never responded to chore charts with the stars for rewards, either...maybe it's the age? (Sorry!)
yea..maybe it is the age. she often says "my legs are too hard" when she wants to be carried up the stairs! oh my!!! 3 only lasts a year! thank goodness!
you know, as a teacher, 3 was my absolute favorite age.. as a parent, though, I find it to be the most frustrating.
I used to tell Lindsey that if she tried, I would help her.. but if she wasn't trying, I wasn't going to be doing it for her.. she was verbal enough that it worked..
with Josh, it has to be a contest.. I bet you can't do this before I count to 20.. I bet you can't do that before I can do this, etc.
hmm. Erik didn't do that at three... but he does it all the time at 4.
What I do: Sometimes I help him exactly like he wants. So I help him pick up the blocks. Especially if I do know he's tired. And then, I have him help me do what I was going to do. So you BOTH do the dinosaurs, then BOTH do the dollhouse.
Sometimes I pick up a few, then tell him he has to get the rest. Sometimes I help organize it, gather all the blocks that are spread around the playroom and then he doesn't feel so overwhelmed and can put them away. Sometimes I just say "no, Erik. It's your turn to clean up. Pick up the blocks before dinner, please." When he continues to whine I tell him, "I know it's frustrating. Part of your job in this family is cleaning up toys. Please clean them up before dinner."
I've seen my dd clean up beautifully and without being prompted with other people (preschool - this was before evil director). I think part of it is that she still doesn't know how to start each task. So, I'll sit next to her and tell her what needs to be picked up and how.
"Lauren, please pick up your coloring."
"I don't know how" (which I used to think was stalling because she does know how)
I come over
"Put your blue marker in the box. Now, put your red marker in the box, etc."
Yeah, it's a pain.
But, if she says "no mama you do it." I say, "are you sure you want me to do it by myself?" To which she always runs over and starts helping because the deal is that if she isn't able to help take care of her toys, she isn't old enough or responsible enough for them and I will give them to kids who are able to do so. And, I've done it. So, she knows.
We did the same thing with the girls. If they weren't able to put the toys away, either J and I would with the understanding that they were going up and away until they were able to be cared for. If the girls were "too tired" to clean anything up or do what was asked, they were given the option of laying down. A lot of times, we'd just say something like "When you're done cleaning those up, we'll get some strawberries to eat (or take a walk, or read a book...or anything they'd be into doing)
__________________
How Time Flies ~ Luna Blue is Two!
Tree hugging, vegetarian, breastfeeding, cloth-diapering, home schooling, drum playing Step-Mama to my sweet Nico Sage and Mama to my curly Kaya Jade and wee Luna Blue. Lovin my hottie ~ J. Blogging From the Boonies My Etsy Shop
many times i tell cole he cant do it & he gives me this sly little grin & says "yes cole can" & he hops to it for like a 1/2 a minute. then i do the other things everyoneelse has mentioned......
good ideas...i just got home from the first night of the la leche league conference and a workshop with Elizabeth Crary author of Love and Limits...i am bursting with ideas!
Mark usually sings the "clean up" song with Cole with mixed results of making clean up time into play time.
Often though we end up "bribing" him with "We can do X, but not until after we clean up, ok?"
6 more days until he's officially a three year old. Hold me! I'm scared!
Yes the "clean up" song worked so well with us and actually it still does. Singing the song seems to be enough of a mental distraction form the mundane chore of tidying th e toys.
I echo a lot of what other's have said already. With Elizabeth being quite stubborn our clean time can be challenging. I try to keep on top of her in that if she's playing dress up, as soon as I notice she's done I ask her to clean it up. Obviously the less the mess the easier ot clean it up. She also knows quite well that if she doesn't care for her things then they go to Goodwill. Generally if she's putting up a fuss I will tell her that if she doesn't start to clean up by the time I count to 5 then I will do it for her but they will be given to Goodwill.
__________________
Stefanie
Wife to Brendan, my best friend
Mama to Elizabeth 4/28/02 and lovin' it!
Benjamin Timothy has arrived! 9/1/05
Teacher to my talented third graders
Location: When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Posts: 9,476
I always set the kitchen timer... at 3 I usually set it at something crazy like 45 minutes for a clean up of craft stuff, but she didn't know that and it works. She also wants to do EVERYTHING herself. If I helped her at all, even if she asked for it, she would drop it all and allow me to do it by myself. Grrrrrrrrr... this is when we had conversations like that Julie. lol... Somehow the tick tick tick of the timer always works for her, and still does when asking doesn't. If she is terribly reluctant I usually pick a book I will read when she is done. That gets her going too. But she has to do it herself. If I try and help, she just sits back and lets me do it. She usually doesn't have trouble in that area any more...
now if I had just done this with Alex.
Val
__________________
Val; Living the dream we have been working towards for over 5 years.
Mama to Alex, Cyan, and Logan. Wife to my very best friend.
we sing the clean up song and sometimes we race to the kitchen timer. Sometimes I'll do what you did with the 'i'll do this, you do that'
ie. I'll pick up the books, Zoey you pick up the blocks, Romy you get all the veggietales guys
etc
some days it works better then others.
__________________
~Barb
Mama to Chelsey, turning 19, 8yo Zoey & 5yo Roman
[IMG]
Linear Mode
