amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Maiden Comfort · 08-24-2005, 12:53 AM

THis is what has worked for us (no - my 12yo - the 11yo- didn't like wearing pull-ups either, but she did her own laundry!), and what we do for the potty training 3yo.

Protective mattress pad is a must. Then only bottom sheet, and a blanket. Less to wash.

For undies - Gerber training pants don't hold squat - I would look for something with more cotton in them (I think Hanna Anderson's are all cotton - even the absorbant part, or maybe a sewing mama could make something for you). Also a "puddle pad". Either wool, or cotton fleece and PUL sewn together will work well for them to lay on - make sure it covers most of where they lay. If you have more than one for each bed, you wouldn't have to worry about washing it to get it back on the bed that night either. We don't do the cover over the undies - the undies absorb most of it, and the puddle pad catches any dampness from that. Then all I have to wash is the pad, jammies and undies (and maybe the blanket if that got wet) - and I DON'T have to remake the whole bed usually. And my 3yo thinks she's a "big girl" still

Mama2miracles · 08-24-2005, 01:04 AM

I'll add in here that my MOM hand painted with fabric paints/markers - blue's clues paw prints, Dora the Explorer, Nemo, Maddy's favourite stuff rabbit onto the pull-ups she made her - so that makes them more inviting to wear. Possibly special character regular undies in a size up with an absorbant doubler (something like a trifolded prefold?) sewn in for "night underwear/nighttime panties" might work for going on without feeling baby-ish. Also agreeing about not so many blankets on the bed if they'll go for that. I give my kids sheets (waterproof mattress cover over) and a lightweight fleece blanket and in the winter just have the heat up when they are in that stage.

mamaterri · 08-24-2005, 01:16 AM

Hi mama, I know your frustration, we are just now getting a break from it ourselves, after ds turned 6 this summer, he has been able to stay dry most nights since starting school ... I don't think that had anything to do with it *except* he is gettig up earlier ...

I noticed when changing his bed in the am it was still warm, like it just happened, if he is up by 6- 6:30 he can make it to the potty, if he sleeps late (weekends) he doesn't always make it .. he just sleeps too soundly, and a lot of kids are that way

he would wake me up and ask me to change his sheets, I always did and tried 99 % of the time to not show disappointment, anger, disapproval, etc. b/c I knew he was not doing it on purpose, it wasn't his fault his bladder wasn't big enough or strong enough to go all night and he sleeps too soundly to wake up, heck, I get up and go 2x a night, and wish I slept so soundly!

His Big Ben clock wakes him up if the sunlight doesn't so now we are doing okay.

For making the bed, I did put an allergy cover on b/c in the spring I was told he might have dust allergies. The covers are waterproof and easy to wipe down. I had a fleece/plastic type of crib pad I centered on his bed, about 36" long. I laid a big thick bathtowel on top of that to soak up lots of pee. Then went on a flat sheet. No fitted sheets! too much of a pain. Go buy some cheap flat sheets at w-m, they are about 2.50 each. I got plain white ones. Then another flat sheet to sleep under. So, mattress zip around cover, plastic/fleece crib pad, bath towel, then flat sheet, then flat sheet. It's easy to roll it all up an toss it in the wash. The crib pad (from WM) is all I could find in a size big enough for what I wanted (36" long), he tosses and turns and could end up anywhere on his twin size bed. I never tried the polar fleece, sounds like a good alternative - his pad is not noisy b/c of the towel on top and sheet on that, and as far as I know, it is not hot, or does not seem to bother him.

I kept a duplicate set of everything next to his bed. Easy to throw on the fleece, the towel, the flat, let him get in bed, then a flat over him. Don't used fitteds! They will kill your back! My ds tosses and turns, but the flats just hang over the edge and don't come off, heck I don't even tuck the bottom one in, but you could tuck it under if you wanted.

Try earlier wake ups, and look into the potty pager, that was going to be our next step, I lost links to it, but go to dr. sears website, he talks about it there.

also, I don't agree with waking them up, (even though sears does) a lot of peds and parents say it works for them, but to me, they have to be able to listen to their body, and until they reach a certain point of maturity, their brains are just not going to get the message.

waking them up, to me, only exhausts you and may or may not work .... you need sleep .. if they don't mind sleeping in a wet bed, it's not going to kill them ... might be gross, but at least you won't be cranky from being up ....

If they wake you up, try to take deep breaths and remember, this too shall pass. And they are not doing it on purpose. They are leaking urine, they are not lazy or inconsiderate, they just cannot control their bodies yet. Yes, they *do* love you! lol! even if they are making mountains of laundry!

Keep in mind, the more it becomes a power struggle, the more you will be on the losing end. Kids, they have a will of iron! Let them wear what is comfortable. I don't think taking a punitive stance is a good idea (not saying you are, just saying, I don't think it works, and believe it backfires and makes the problem worse/ longer lasting.) They are still young yet, I tend to agree with what RFamHere wrote.

Good luck! try my flat sheet idea with the crib pad and bath towel. If you are having an odor problem, try Out, the pet neutralizing spray, it smells pretty good and works great b/c it uses enzymes.

take care,

Charity · 08-24-2005, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nellebelle

For my 7 year old, we don't do pull-ups or nighttime diapers or anything like that because it would be embarrassing to him. If you have a younger child, or if it isn't embarrassing for them, then I think that if it works for you, then go for it

However, Si's going into 2nd grade, and he knows his younger sisters wear diapers and I know it would hurt his feelings if I insisted he wear them. Could I make him? Absolutely. I'm the mama and what I say goes. But, why would I do that? There are a few things I'll go to the mat on. He doesn't get to eat dessert if he hasn't eaten enough of his regular meal. He speaks respectfully, etc... But I guess for me, if it comes between him feeling good about himself and me having a bit of extra work, well, I bet you can guess which one I'm going to pick. Wetting the bed, for Si at least, is not INTENTIONAL. It is not something he's doing to disobey me... that's why it's called an accident

JMO though... everyone's entitled, lol.Nelle

I have an almost 6 yr old who wets at night too. We managed to talk her into wearing "goodnights" (which work really well, and are much more absorbant than pull-ups) for a short while, but she quickly started to be embaressed about wearing them. She felt like she was a baby wearing a diaper. Wetting the bed is completely unintentional for her. She sleeps so soundly she isn't even aware she's done it. In fact, most mornings, she will wake up in new pj's with new bedsheets, from us changing her in the middle of the night from wetting, and she won't even recall it all happening. I don't want to force her to wear something she feels extremely self-consious and embaressed about, just to make life easier on me. So we just deal with wet beds. We use a plastic mattress cover, and then when she wets, we wipe off the plastic cover, and put on a new sheet. We don't use a top sheet for her bed since we change it so often, and we keep clean comforters handy for middle of the night changes. Dd's gotten much better over time, and now instead of nightly wettings, she is doing it only a few times a month (with no predictability). I am guessing with age we will see it disappear. Until then, we'll just keep helping her change her bed and clothes at night. And if she decides that wearing "goodnights" is something she wants to do in the future, to make nightime changes easier on "her", then we'll do that.

xt · 08-24-2005, 03:30 AM

We had a really nice custom night time underwear made by Karen at Superdupas - Patrick picked the PUL and the inner fabric. We're in Pullups now, but that was a great nighttime undie (we also had Biobottoms nighttime underwear, and they could hold loads of water, but the poly irritated Patrick). Otherwise, no advise except maybe to make several thick flannel pads for on top of the sheets that can easily be tossed in the wash? I was about to do that when DH talked Patrick into Spiderman pullups. Which, I have to admit, makes my life a zillion times easier.

Linda · 08-24-2005, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleblessed

Thanks for sharing your inputs as well! Sue, thanks for the informative post! I didn't know all that! WOW!

Linda ~ is the polar fleece "hot?" As in, holding in heat and making kids sweat, etc? Or is this the breathable kind? Thanks!

no, the polar fleece isn't hot at all. I've slept on it quite a bit when I was figuring out dd's nightime diapering system. It is really cozy. And it sticks to the bed, so it doesn't shift around much and get all lumpy(although, I use flannel sheets...). You could use it as a mattress pad under the sheet, but it was easier for me on top of the sheet. Works great if you have kids who are throwing up. Can lay them on the couch or floor covered in fleece...

PArenting is one huge problem solving project, isn't it?

Linda · 08-24-2005, 03:54 AM

and an FYI~dairy is a bladder irritant. So you could try to limit dairy products(as opposed to cutting it out)...like none after lunch time to see if that helps.

OR you could try digestive enzymes like the ones at
www.houstinni.com
They help break apart the proteins in the milk, which would make it less irritating(if you discovered it was an issue at all)

nellebelle · 08-24-2005, 08:15 AM

Quote:

I hope you didn't take it wrong, mama. Just showing how kids are different.

Heck no... didn't take it wrong. That's why I used the

icon. If I was mad, I would have used the

or

ones,

I too am getting lots of good ideas though. It goes in cycles for Si so we don't have to deal with it ALL the time thank goodness. But, when he does start up, it's usually several weeks of it, sometimes 2-3 times a night. I'm pretty sure it's related to his growing... when he goes through a growth spurt he seems to sleep deeper.

Ok, back to bed. Baby's done nak.
Nelle

mamabear · 08-24-2005, 08:41 AM

Katie still wets occasionally. She refuses Pullups or any other as they do rash her up pretty bad - she has always been sensitive to sposies, never able to wear them. My ds wears Pullups or Goodnights but rarely wets anymore - just when he does, it's a doozy.

For Katie, I took a big piece of Windpro fleece and sewed about six prefolds together in a long line, overlapping the thinner edges so that it made like a big long prefold as thick as the middle - but I left the edges flapping open underneath for ease of washing. I sewed one edge of the line of diapers to one edge of the Windpro fleece. So I have a pad that has prefolds on top and a bigger piece of Windpro fleece on the bottom. I set this on the bed; she sleeps on a full and it's long enough to tuck in at the sides. When she pees it usually goes onto the diapers, then I just strip the pad and wash. She only goes once at about 2 am so I have taken to staying up till midnight, waking her to go, then going to bed, and that works.

She rolls around and moves so much that we had to have something to cover the whole width of the bed.

Two more things: definitely get a mattress pad that is waterproof so you don't ruin your mattress. BB&B has a good one that is PUL lined instead of hot, noisy vinyl.

And check out Dry All Night by Allison Mack. Very good book if you have an older (6 & up, I'd say) child who still wets and who wants to stop wetting. If they don't care, it's less successful. It relies on their own motivation. But it is really, really well done. I got it at bookcloseouts.com for $4 or so.

doubleblessed · 08-24-2005, 10:34 AM

Wow, I'm learning so much from you experienced ladies! Thank you, thank you!

I hope this thread gets saved somehow and moved somewhere so when people search for it, there are a lot of info in this post!!

My kids are VERY active in bed ~ moving around, etc.... so I'll do some suggestions you have given me! Amazingly, last night, NEITHER one of them had accidents in bed!

I didn't wake them up as I've learned from you all here... and dh said he heard the potty being flushed twice last night but he couldn't see who did it. LOL! But I'm expecting accidents... just want to help them be comfortable. I don't want their mattress pads smelling like pee, yk?

ZandLsMom · 08-24-2005, 10:49 AM

Can you get those zip on mattress savers for a full/double bed? DS has a big bed, and I need something to help save his mattress.

We use those gerber undies with the padding and sometimes the gerber ones with the plastic on the outside for night time. Usually, when we use those, DS is dry all night, if left in reg. undies, he pees the bed A LOT!

I have thought about putting a chux pad under him at night. I have a bunch left over from when my ILs needed them a while back.

My DS won't sleep on a towel. If I put one down, he will sleep up on his pillow or on top of the comforter b/c sleeping on towels is uncomfy.

Also, how do you safe the comforter? DS's is being washed for the 3rd time this week.

RebeckaK · 08-24-2005, 11:14 AM

Thanks ladies for all your advice! I too have bed-wetters. Mine are wearing goodnights now though because they were waking up so miserably. Ds told me this morning though that he hates the new ones I bought him (generic). He said he would use them until they were gone. I feel fortunate that he will wear them.

The Op's children are three? Have you ever tried to "make" a 3 yr old do anything???? lol. 3 yr olds are notorious for doing everything they can to get their way. I KNOW lol, I have one here.

As for night wakings and withholding drinks. I HATE that. Marcus doesn't even wake up when I drag him to the toilet at midnight and he cries if he can't have anything to drink. Withholding water, imo, is mean. So I don't do it. MIL does it though and it makes me grrrrrrrrr.

My brother was a bed wetter until after highschool. I know that it bothered him A LOT. But it taught me lot. I will never ever shame my boys for wetting the bed. I remember crying as I listened to my dad (who otherwise was an awesome father) doing it to my my brother. Night waking didn't work with my brother either- we would wake up and find him sleeping in the bathtub after my mom had awakened him to go pee....

My boys are 3 and 6 and still wet the bed. Goodnights are keeping me sane for the moment. Hopefully those mamas with kids who won't use them will find another form of sanity... i am rambling lol. Sorry. It is just good to know that there are so many mamas who know what this struggle feels like. I would never have guessed it would be so many!

Morgansma · 08-24-2005, 12:03 PM

Hyland sells bedwetting tablets. You might see if they help. They are only for short-term use though.

Charity · 08-24-2005, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RebeckaK

As for night wakings and withholding drinks. I HATE that. Marcus doesn't even wake up when I drag him to the toilet at midnight and he cries if he can't have anything to drink. Withholding water, imo, is mean. So I don't do it.

We don't withhold drinks either. It seemed a mean thing to do to me too, so dd takes a water bottle to bed with her at night and drinks when she is thirsty.

ThirtySomething · 08-24-2005, 01:32 PM

You're received plenty of great advice to your troubles. I just wanted to say that I'm a "sneaky" diaperer if the need arises.

I'm one of the moms who changes her little one after he is asleep. I don't have bedwetters, but not one of them was interested in diapers after they decided to wear undies during the day. In the beginning stages of potty learning, they were all bed wetters.

I put the diaper on after they were asleep. No hassle, no worry. I probably wouldn't do this with an older child if it became an issue. My experience with resistance to diapers has mostly been because the child is tired and he likes his undies. It could quickly turn into a power struggle.

I also do double bedding. I make the bed twice. Then, if it happens, just whip one layer off and you're good to go.

I love Mamabears bed cover advice. It is excellent!

ETA: I think the witholding of water entirely is inconsiderate, but there is no harm in allowing only a small sip. I'll often ask them just to take a sip so they won't have to go potty in the middle of the night. If night wetting is a problem, allowing free access to a cup might not be a good idea.