amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

mamatanya · 07-31-2006, 10:46 PM

Any one else experience this? Ds1 has been fine with the new baby but really crappy toward me. I'd love to hear how others have dealt with this. Thanks

mamatanya · 08-07-2006, 02:03 AM

I can't be alone in this so either I just didn't give enough info or I sounded awfully witchy. I adore my first so having him go all out on defiant, angry and hateful behavior at the same time that my hormones were shifting was awful. We're doing better and I'm getting some perspective. I would still like to hear how others have adjusted to a second child.

movaly1 · 08-07-2006, 10:22 AM

He may be doing things to get a reaction and therefore attention. If he is desperate for attention then even your angry attention would be better than nothing, you know?

Maura · 08-07-2006, 11:51 AM

I agree with the PP. He may want more attention, which I'm sure isn't so easy for you. I guess the best I can suggest is some alone thime with your son..maybe an hour with just the two of you, reading or snuggling and talking?

tarablesue · 08-08-2006, 01:27 AM

Yep i remember Bailee really lashing out at me when Makenna came.. she even told me that "baby go in belly" which to me meant she wanted her to go back in there! LOL

I made special tme when the baby was sleeping, B still nursed so id let her nurse adn we'd sing sonds and have one on one time and it helped tremendously..Hugs mama .... adjusting to 2 kids was really hard! It'll be the best though,promise!!

Christi · 08-08-2006, 09:32 PM

From what I understand it's the most common way they react - all the moms I've talked to warned me about DS being angry at me but never the baby. So far so good, but it's very normal.

Empathic~Heart · 08-09-2006, 01:42 AM

We've been dealing with this too...Ava knows I can't easily jump up while nursing the baby and that I'm tired and distracted. She capitalizes on this by misbehaving or just doing what she wants during those times. She's *never* been irritable or mean to the baby though, just me.

I'm also trying to give her special time (which honestly is hard to do, especially just us with dh working so much overtime) and lots of kudos when she does a good job or is particularly helpful. I've also worked at giving her special things to do that only "big girls" get to do. She's had a lot of summer camp activities, time with grandma and "helping" daddy with projects and keeping her busy with fun things really helps in the long run.

Good luck mama, this one is hard!