amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

TulaneMama · 05-20-2006, 03:50 AM

I am at my wits end!!! Please bare with me because this is going to be long and we neer you

. Things have only gotten worse too. DD for the last, oh, MONTH, has decided that her bed time will be 11pm-12am! For us that is just too late and then once we do get her to sleep she tosses and turns all night and wakes up and can't get comfortable and thus, she disturbs me and I am up too.

She seems to finally get a good nights sleep around 6-9/10 in the morning. Now this sounds great to most, I am sure, but remember that I am up or rather, not sleeping soundly all night long either. Luckily I am allowed to sleep in and I usually wake between 8 or 9.

I no longer know what to do. This is Olivias's day:

9/10am wake
eat and play
1/2am nap for 1-2.5 hours
eat and play
5/6 nap
eat play cry cry cry
11/12pm bed

Some nights I am able to keep her awake until 7:30/8 and she goes to sleep - NOT!!! SHe makes that a 2hr nap!!!!!! The kid is a napper! Not a sleeper! I really despise those nights. In fact she did it last night and I started to cry.

I pur her down to sleep and when I here her wake I immediately go to her, nurse her, and often stay in bed with her, but more often then not after a good nurse she rolls over bright-eyed and bushey tailed. WHY!!! ARGH!!!!

Now when she takes an evening nap she usually gets tired around 8:30/9 which isn't too bad and she lays her head down and wants up into my lap, we nurse and she starts to fall asleep, however, as soon as sleep is about to take her she arched her back and rolls away from me. IF I am lucky, she is in a decent mood and will hop down and play as long as I am literally next to her. Because she is so tired she keeps wanting to nurse, and the pattern repeats itself.

More likely though is that she cries. Her eyes are closed, and she literally fights sleep. And this can go on for hours. I am exhausted, tensions are high and I do not know what else to do.

So far I have tried:
-laying down with her at the first sign of being tired (just like nap time)
-nursing and rocking her in her room with the lights out
-standing and holding her over my shoulder while I sway and pat her back
-sitting in our nursing chair in the LR
-holding her snuggly against me
-putting her down on the floor while she throws her nightly sleep fit
and
-I am sad to say, that I was so frustrated with her last night and tonight that I actually put her in her crib and let her cry for at least for 5minutes (Seemed like years) (and when I did pick her up she still cried!!!!)

I have not tried putting her in the sling to get her to sleep only because I feel confident that she will wake when I slide out of it. There are times where I think she has fallen asleep and I continue to hold her for another 20-30 minutes to make sure she is out cold, go to put her down, walk out of the room and barely make it to the end of the hall before she wakes. Thus, on the nights that are few and far between where she does fall asleep I am often held captive on the couch with her until I go to bed.

Naps are a completely different story. She gives the smae sleepy signlas, I take her into the bed, nurse her and she is out within 5 minutes and sleeps for an average of 2hrs. will even crash in my arms on the couch and I can move her to the bed. WHy oh why does this not work at night.

I have debated waking her in the morning (man is that going to be scarey and make for a miserable day) to see if I can't change her sleep patterns but then I am not so sure that will work either.

What can we do?

stephanielynn · 05-21-2006, 03:45 PM

aw man...sorry mama! we had a really rough week with getting ds to go to bed last week. dh would rock and sing and get him to sleep, as usual, but then when he went to lay him down, he would wake. we did this like 10 times...over the course of an hour or so...until we finally decided that this fighting sleep was making us crazy! so...we decided on the whole put him in the crib, let him cry for 5 minutes, go in and pat him and give him his puppy, and then watch him/listen for another 5 minutes. and he actually went to sleep before the 2nd 5 minutes was up. it was shocking and so great. the next couple of nights after that first night, he ended up falling asleep before the first 5 miuntes was up. now...he's back to just rocking and going to sleep, thank goodness.

isaac used to be the opposite of O...terrible napper and good at night. there were many times that i reached the end of my rope. then...luckily something would change that would make it bearable again! hope you find something that works!

milk42 · 05-21-2006, 07:19 PM

Ashley, I am not sure there is a magic trick for fixing this. Hannah and Hope were crabby fussy babies for the first year or so. They have never needed or wanted sleep. My only advice is just to hang on, cuz it is gonna be a bumpy ride. I do hope it is just a phase and it will pass soon for you!

bubbles · 05-21-2006, 11:35 PM

Miles was like that for awhile and waking him earlier and limiting his naps did help us. I am not saying it will be easy or that it will definitely work but I think it is a good idea. I would wake her in the morning earlier and also wake her from naps earlier. That late afternoon one is really doing you in. Can you give it a try? One other suggestion is to try adding some magnesium to your diet in the afternoon. That should come through in her later nursings to help her sleep. I don't mean in any way to sound like a know-it-all. Both my kids had/have sleep issues and I need my own help! Just some suggestions for things that have helped us.
Good luck mama! I know how really tired you are.

Erica · 05-22-2006, 08:36 AM

ok, I don't have a beauty sleeper either but I remember Ellery was like that right before she/we (can't remember exactly who) cut that afternoon/evening nap out.

But I hear you. I would try hard to push that second nap out by keeping her up for another hour or two. Whatever you decide be as consistent as possible to see change happen....I used to give up after a day or two....and it took me a long time to realize Ellery was "on to me".

So I say all this sleep deprived because I was up for 3 hours from preg. induced insomnia after Ellery woke for the 2nd time.