Can someone give me a hand out of this emotional rut I fell in?
Pregnancy was great, everyone was thrilled with the expectation of our growing family (me, dh, kids ect). I really got into this pregnancy, enjoying the belly and all the little things that went along with it. Kids were their usual wonderful, super helpful selves- with added joys everyday as they hugged and loved on the belly.
Week 1 was fine, dh was home- kids were thrilled with new baby, I loved just bonding with Bayus and was very very hopefull about my future with 3 kids as I saw how continuing to be helpful and loving my other 2 were being.
Week 2 was ok- dh was now working from home so not full time available. Kids were starting to be less helpful and Hannah was sick (pukies). Attributed change in their attitude with illness running through house. Baby is still wonderful and I'm now starting to get back to some of my 'normal' chores
Week 3 has been hard. Dh is back to work full time but MIL is here so I have her help. Love MIL but recently lost FIL just 2months ago so the reminder is a bit hard- and she isn't as talkative so things are a bit awkward. The kids are not sick but they are driving me insane. They are not helpful and they are being downright mean to each other. They still adore baby but they are being really hard to deal with in their interactions with each other and with me (particularly when I am holding or nursing Bayus). I just feel generally blah and other times downright blahh. The thought of being left alone with them when MIL goes home next week is crazy! When will my kids go back to the sweet, loving, helpful, amazing children that they have been for the past 3.5 and almost 5yrs???
Can someone tell me how to get out of this funk?
Sarah<-----thinking of chocolate
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Mommy to Elias (6/5/00), Hannah (9/23/01), and Barnabeas (4/21/05)
happy wife to Eddie
i'm there with you sarah. jackson is 3 weeks old today. i just posted earlier today that i'm just feeling blah and sad and not really feeling like i can connect with jackson. i think we're having the same things...just maybe manifesting itself in different ways.
all i can say is
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~julie~
mama to savannah, jackson and another due in 2009!
I just feel generally blah and other times downright blahh.
Willow is 5 months and im still feeling BLAH.. so i completely understand. im not depresssed or anything, but just blah feeling... unenergetic and sometimes cranky LOL
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*~* tiffany - WAHMama to kyla lennon (5/3/01) & willow dawn (11/27/04)*~* Girl Woman Goddess Creations -patchwork clothing, diapers, diaper bags, & more!
May sound crazy, but are you exercising at all? I started walking after week 1 with all three kids, so very slow walk. Then I started running in week 4, and it really makes me feel great. I do not get in a car except to see midwife or ped, so I am not recommending getting out like that, but just get outside and move some every day you possibly can.
For the kids, mine do better when I am with them, even if I am not interacting. I sit on the porch to nurse if I want them outside, or I sit in the room with them inside. I also have a craft (maybe just coloring) ready right after breakfast, which is their hardest transition point in the day.
Good luck! For what it's worth, I think it's normal. We all feel pretty blah, and need a hand up sometimes.
Yep I restarted up in my stretch and yoga videos at 2days postpartum and have been going pretty consistently. Today has been a good day so far. Its Saturday so dh is home from work. He and MIL took the kids to the zoo for a few hours while I went out to tea with some great friends (local amity mamas) and it really helped. I think being able to put my thoughts, fears and struggles into words this morning for this post helped me be able to put it into words for them- it just helped so much to be able to say what I'm feeling right now. They were so awesome in telling me I'm normal and sharing from their experiences.
So I can handle today, no promises about what tomorrow will bring, but I can handle today. I'm looking forward to my pm stretch this evening and a bit of sewing this afternoon. I think we are going to go on a leisurely family picnic tomorrow after church and let the kids run wild and feed the ducks
I'm glad today was better... it sounds like you have some good ideas - I was going to siggest some fun activities dispersed throughout the week to give you something to look forward to...
A lot of it is hormonal shifts, try to remember that a lot of the emotional ickiness is temporary and if it gets worse than that let someone you trust know.
Jessica
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Mama to *3* boys Isaac, Gabriel, Jack, and Hannah, the long-awaited one, born into water and her Daddy's hands on 4/30/2005!
Sometimes life can be so surprising!
sarah...#3 kinda put me over the edge emotionally (I actually ended up on celexa when I couldn't shake it). It was SUCH a shift. And, yep, that's when our sibling squabbling started. (my biggest pet peeve)
the only thing I have to add to everyone else is maybe start some cod liver oil, if you aren't on it. alot of research shows extra dha's (consuming fish) works like seratonin re-uptake inhibitors...essentially like an antidepressant. Anyways...that's made such a difference for me pregnancy/postpartum...I still have my moodiness-I'm entitiled to it!!!- but am feeling alot more even-keeled~usually. ALso make sure you are getting 10-15 mins of sunshine for vit D too.
Absolutely don't forget that this is all so *normal*. Being a mama is HARD work...being an attached mama is even harder. You will pull through...try not to put too much on your plate for a while. You strike me as very *type A* kind of person (a good thing) you're very motivated and disciplined... but maybe you are expecting too much of yourself too soon? You deserve to relax and go with the flow. You just did the most amazing thing one can ever possibly do... breathe it in.
Thank you Meg- both for the kind words of encouragement and for the natural remedie ideas. I haven't been doing codliver oil- how do you think flax oil would compare? I have some of that on hand. Not a lot of sunshine here in WA but I'll get what I can.
You are all so awesome. Sometimes its so nice to hear people say I'm 'normal'. I always really try to be 'real' with people and this is one experience that I tried for a few days to keep in but have now been making a conciense (wow, bad spelling) effort to continue to be real. First I shared my feelings with dh- then I put it into more concrete words here. Those things opened the door to talk with my girlfriends on Saturday and then other girlfriends today at church. I'm finding that one 'I am sooooo normal' and two there is sooooo much support. I have just a wonderful throng of woman that are committing to praying for our family and me and also those that are offering to call and see how I am through the week I really am a blessed mama.
Another thing that is really helping me out of the rut for the moment and that sharing my struggles helped validate the feelings of a few new mamas I talked with today at church. Mamas that told me that it helped them so much to hear me share how I'm feeling- which is exactly what they are going thru but hadn't been talking about. Hormones are such a powerful thing- its so nice when I can take some of that control back and give it God and see Him help others through me, even in my time of need.
Just remember that this is a big change for you first two as well. It does not matter how wonderful they are...and having MIL there is different for them too. You need to keep your expectations of them and yourself realistic. Go with the flow
There is such a hugy shift in the family with a new baby. In your family the new relationships are:
You and Bayus,
Dh and Bayus,
E. and Bayus,
H and Bayus,
AND
H and E and Bayus
AND
YOu and dh and Bayus
AND
the old ones are still there too(you and dh, dh and E, dh and H, you and E and you and H) with Bayus casting a new context on each one. Seems obvious-but that is a lot of new dynamic in your house.
It all takes time to fall into place. It will, and you all wil find your way. Those hormones make it even more challenging.
I am so glad you have great support!!! That helps so much
We had a very tough transition with my Aidra being so sick/refluxing and colicky. It was very hard on Leah. But we are now finding our way...
One day at a time! And make sure each day includes doing something for yourself.
-oh and flax oil would be great
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" Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out" Robert Collier
i have good days and bad days too. i vote for the chocolate! i really do think it helps in some way. and yes, you are completely normal to feel down. it is great that your husband understands & cares. hope tomorrow is a good day for all of us!
nak
Sarah
I'm right there with you right now! I just lost it about an hour ago....Ellery was screaming to be put to sleep, Kaya was crying because there was a huge fly in her room and Cody was whining big time like he always does before bed....I got so angry that I just closed me and Ellery in my room, nurse her to sleep and lost myself in tears...now I have a headache. I feel blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 3 is hard!
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