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((HUGS)) Leslie.....I hear you Mama, and think you are right on. It *is* a vicious cycle, and it does need to be stopped. As you are seeing, he is hitting and acting out, and the spanking him is not working......I think you may want to consider deciding that you are *not* going to spank, that is is not an option for you, and once you decide that, it is often easier to use those other discipline means and tools. Just decide that no, no more...you will not using hitting as a means of teaching your son. Harder than that, yes, but I think it's the first step, and a realllllly important one! (o:
That said, I think you may want to do 2 things....One, consider why he is acting out. Too much sugar? Ok, lets work on eating healthier and minimizing the sugar. Also look at his sleep, play time, etc. Is he sleeping enough, getting enough fresh air, playing enough? If not, try and change that. Set up a daily routine, maybe do one nightly for the following day....a loose schedule that ensures you and he eat well, play well, etc. These changes can really help how he and you behave and feel. (o:
Also, once you do the above, and he still acts out or behaves inappropriately, you want to teach him why it's not ok. And yes, offer natural consequences, depending on how he reacts. I know some kids do better with time outs, and others need other means. Consistency is a biggie.....Consider what seems to work well with him, or may work well, and stick to it. To avoid being over-harsh, consider the whys, as in why he is acting out.....often it is something beyond his control, like being over-tired, over-stimulated, needing a way to get his energy out, etc. These are things you can help with, and help avoid the meltdowns, and the acting out.
(((HUGS)))
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