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REbecca, I have 5 kids. Sometimes they really hurt each other. It is SO HARD to suppress that mama bear instinct. I have found the best thing for me to do in the situation you describe is to COMPLETELY focus on the hurt child. I hug, snuggle, ice, medicate, cry with the injured child. I will do this until everything is ok, sometimes up to 20 minutes or so. EVERYONE else has to wait. It puts a LOT of positive attention on the hurt child. It also gives me time to calm down. I know the feeling of wanting to throttle a child who has hurt mine.
Family makes it so much tougher. Fortunately, that hasn't been a big problem for us so far, but I can see how trouble would easily arise.
As for name-calling. We don't call people names. My children's names are Celeste, Lydia, William, Samuel, and Isaac. They are occassionally called snot nose or silly boy or baby face. HOWEVER! if the child says,"Don't call me that" it is stopped immediately, even if it is an affectionate nickname from a parent.
There is no scapegoat, especially if your child is speech delayed. Kids are calling her names and she can't even adequately verbally defend herself and it is HER fault? I don't think so.
Name calling in unacceptable. Teasing is NOT ok.
I am a mean mean mama though. If you aren't nice to others, you get to be alone.
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Everyone's favorite elf, Poopy
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