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I think she is at higher risk because she is reserved, shy, loves people, is compassionate, always "wants to be nice," and is the least aggressive person I know. Much of this is wonderful.
Example is one I gave a while ago: we were at a fountain in the city where kids were playing. One little boy (probably 7) kept pushing her off her spot (where the water was about to come up). I suspected it was because he liked her and was trying to engage her in an inappropriate manner. I went to him and told him that Lauren is a nice girl and that she would likely welcome any positive gestures he would make with regard to playing with her, but that if he could not play nicely with her that he should go somewhere else. He continued with aggression and I told him (in no uncertain terms) that if he did not go play elsewhere immediately then I was going to tell his mother. He left her alone.
In the past my thinking was to always turn the cheek and be nice. If it could not be addressed through those means then the "authorities" (teachers, parents, administrators) would resolve it. Now, I think that the first step is generous and kind, but that if that does not immediately work, shock and awe is the next step. I.E., hit and hit hard. Symbolically speaking. I find it shocking that I am even thinking of doing something that might hurt another child.
in summary: I now believe that kindness and generousity will not always work to resolve bullying and that aggression might have to be the way to treat it. And, that shocks me that I am thinking that way.
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Rebecca, wife and mother
Lauren January 2009
a) no empty calories, b) nine fruits and veggies, c) 30 mins exercise/day
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