Quote:
Originally Posted by Deborah
Hey Linda,
  I'm so sorry ... I'm pissed and sad with you!
I think losing friends is one of the hardest things to understand ....
Something similar happened to me a few years ago --
My best friend from high school sent me a mass email one day saying this was her new address. I called her and found out she'd left her husband and hadn't even talked to me about it. We talked over email a bit and it got really ugly. She blamed me for all sorts of things. I was so mad and pissed off because it wasn't fair -- I became her scapegoat -- in retrospect, I was the safest person for her to be mad at precisely because I did love her unconditionally. She couldn't bear to disappoint her family -- too much baggage -- but she could me.
I spent a long time mourning our friendship and I finally had an insight that helped me enormously. Even though I was sad we were going our different ways, I could also honor the past we had together. I really valued our time together and thought that separating would diminish it - I realized that both are true -- we were very dear friends and now we have gone our different ways.
BTW, from a birth imprinting thing, this is a transition and separation thing and if you tap on your birth stuff, you might get more space on this topic.
Hugs,
Deb. |
Thank you Deborah, that helps *a lot*. I came to a similar conclusion yesterday. I am also my mother and my brother's scapegoats, so this triggered a lot of stuff for me. My girlfriend can be extremely judgemental and that is what she accused me of. So, really no surprise there. I do tend to love people unconditionally. I am very open and forgiving and no I don't harbor resentments. I figure we are all human. No I am not perfect.(hardly...haha)..but geez. So to be living this all over again is a bit much for me. I know that I am a loving person, daughter sister and friend. I know she is as well, but she is hurting over stuff that has nothing to do with me.
As I said, though I am thankful(in a theoretical way~lol!) that she acted this way. I know I have to deal with it, and that will set my emotions free even further. You know, I remember thinking a long time ago that I am so lucky that I have a 'family' I created for myself in my friends and my husband that love me unconditionally....since my family of origin does not. I now realize that this family can be just as fragile.
Had this happened 5 years ago, I would have been devastated. Today, well, I see it as information. Don't get me wrong I am sad, but I am happy for all of the wonderful friendship we have had together and wish her well.
I guess when I can look at her pictures without feeling sad, then I have peace.