I am so sorry, mama. I don't even know what to say. Just know that I read and I care. I know that's not much, though.
I have some friends in Maryland who had to adopt the older sibling as well in order to get the younger infant they were interested in. They have had a really horrible time with their older son and will probably have to place him in a live in situation as he is too much to handle.
He was drug exposed and sexually and physically abused. They can not trust him with other kids unless they are RIGHT there at all times.
Hugs, mama,