Well, if you've read my other posts, you know it's been difficult to bond with Alex. He was 2 years and 3 months when he came to live with us, was virtually non-verbal and had been removed from a stable foster home (they weren't interested in adopting any more kids) to be place with us (kinship care). My mothering instincts were strong, but I found (and still do) that my patience runs out faster with him; I don't always tolerate his outbursts well.
However, I love, love, love him. He's a dear child and he's MINE. (When his bio parents call to talk to him, and doubts I have about my feelings toward him disappear!)
And, as you stated, you had these same fears with Levi. I know some parents have trouble bonding to kids, bio or not. My mom has a good friend that had to deal a lot with the "ideal" of her daughter before she could accept her for who she was...and that was a birthed daughter. She talked with my mom about it, but followed Lee-Ann's advice to "fake it til you make it"...which is what I do now.
Do I notice a difference in my feelings toward Alex as compared to my other kids? Yes. Do I think those differences will go away. Yes.
Also, FYI, the laws are changing for adoptions from Guatamala next year sometime, making it a bit harder to get children...you might want to look into that before you decide where. I know you are interested in international adoption, but I really encourage you to look domestically, too...especially if you are at all interested in fostering to adopt. It's not uncommon around here to be foster parents to a baby from birth and then be able to adopt.
Jeni
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Mama to Alex, Miriam and Noah; Wife to Chris.
Alex (Weatherman), Miriam (Fancy Nancy) and Noah (Good Knight), October 31, 2008
Missing Hazel Irene, born still on April 18, 2008.
A Broken Hallelujah
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