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boobymama- Everything I said came from a conversation with MIL, not with SIL. I haven't pushed SIL into any corners, nor did I say I did. I, in fact, stated that I wouldn't do anything she or the APs didn't want, did I not? Check the first post again. I was just wondering what people thought of what MIL said.
I could care less what she does with her baby - it's her decision, unless she keeps it and then abuses/neglects it. We haven't talked to her since she started considering adoption. We only just learned of it. We offered to adopt the baby when she first found out she was pregnant, but at that point she said she wanted to keep it.
The adoption to people MIL knows would by nature be somewhat open. It's not as if MIL would never hear about the kid again.
We are the only people in the family who actively try to give SIL any credit for being a capable adult. We respect her decisions, but we're not going to cave in to MIL's opinions without further exploration, including a conversation with SIL and the APs.
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