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no experiences, but thoughts:
you are an adult capable of making your decision regardless of what mil or sil think. If sil is giving the baby up for adoption, that's her issue and you have no obligation to not contact AP against her wishes - jmo.
Personally, were it me, I'd fight like hell to be the adoptive parent, but if that just could not happen, I'd say screw sil, I'm going to do what I can to ensure that this precious babe can contact me if precious babe and babe's AP want that. If the APs are not for it, that's one thing, but if sil voluntarily gives up baby, I say she forfits rights to what you chose to do.
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