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milkmaid · 07-05-2005, 09:01 PM

I am going to offer a little BTDT here, that kind of contridicts what others have said.

My daughter Elizabeth was born when Steven was 2 1/2 and we went through almost word for word what you described. I was ready to run away with my new baby and really resented my sweet boy. All I could focus on was "Life would be fine if I could just wean this kid!!"

But....I realized that Steven was not ready to wean, and deep down I didn't want what had been a wonderful beautiful nursing relationship to end on a note of resentment. I realized that Steven was crying out "I want to be your baby too"

So.....I decided that for two weeks, i would nurse him every time he wanted to nurse. Happily, without putting him off, and I would even offer to nurse him when he didn't ask. I never said, "In a minute" or tried any other delaying tactics.

For the first 5 days, all I did was nurse. My husband brought in food or we ate sandwiches, the house was a disaster, laundry piled up. But it really wasn't any worse than what had been happening before--because nursing STeven whenever he asked to nurse didn't take any more time than putting him off, dealing with tantrums, etc.

And then, suddenly, I had my "old" happy boy back, and he quit asking to nurse. He still nursed at naptime and bedtime, and in the morning, but it wasn't the "all day" and every time I needed to nurse Elizabeth. It was like I filled up his emotional tank, and now he was able to move on and be a happy "big" boy.

Steven nursed until his 4th birthday, when he woke up and said, "It's my weaning birthday!" and he never nursed again. I tandem nursed for 18 months and looking back they are some of my most treasured memories.

I know you'll make the right decision for your family....this is a hard time for all of you. Hard for you because you're being pulled between your two nurslings, hard for your son because he's not dealing well with the reality of sharing his mom. You'll get through this--this too shall pass.

PM me if you wanna talk.

07-05-2005, 09:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
milkmaid Smocking my heart out! iTrader: 2 / 100% Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: NW Missouri Posts: 1,313	I am going to offer a little BTDT here, that kind of contridicts what others have said. My daughter Elizabeth was born when Steven was 2 1/2 and we went through almost word for word what you described. I was ready to run away with my new baby and really resented my sweet boy. All I could focus on was "Life would be fine if I could just wean this kid!!" But....I realized that Steven was not ready to wean, and deep down I didn't want what had been a wonderful beautiful nursing relationship to end on a note of resentment. I realized that Steven was crying out "I want to be your baby too" So.....I decided that for two weeks, i would nurse him every time he wanted to nurse. Happily, without putting him off, and I would even offer to nurse him when he didn't ask. I never said, "In a minute" or tried any other delaying tactics. For the first 5 days, all I did was nurse. My husband brought in food or we ate sandwiches, the house was a disaster, laundry piled up. But it really wasn't any worse than what had been happening before--because nursing STeven whenever he asked to nurse didn't take any more time than putting him off, dealing with tantrums, etc. And then, suddenly, I had my "old" happy boy back, and he quit asking to nurse. He still nursed at naptime and bedtime, and in the morning, but it wasn't the "all day" and every time I needed to nurse Elizabeth. It was like I filled up his emotional tank, and now he was able to move on and be a happy "big" boy. Steven nursed until his 4th birthday, when he woke up and said, "It's my weaning birthday!" and he never nursed again. I tandem nursed for 18 months and looking back they are some of my most treasured memories. I know you'll make the right decision for your family....this is a hard time for all of you. Hard for you because you're being pulled between your two nurslings, hard for your son because he's not dealing well with the reality of sharing his mom. You'll get through this--this too shall pass. PM me if you wanna talk. __________________ Laura Mom to Steven (7/23/93), Elizabeth (12/15/95), Madelyn (12/11/98) and Caroline (2/25/02) Missing my husband and best friend Scott since 9/13/08. Mom, lactivist, heirloom seamstress and OB nurse. Please leave me feedback!