The hardest thing that I had to learn was that ds is going to have meltdowns, so I just let him. If he just collapses and is kicking and screaming, I tell him in a soft voice that I love him and I'm sorry that he's upset, and if he needs me I'll be.....and then tell him where I'm going to be and walk away.
At that age, emotions are so strong and since they're mostly non-verbal, frustration levels are really low. So, it's totally normal that they're going to get overwhelmed and just melt, but we, as parents, aren't always going to be able to fix "it" - the situation, so it's okay for them to just let all those emotions fly.
The other thing that I've learned is that I don't have to be right there while he melts. I know that, for me, after a while, I felt like I was being assaulted by his screaming and tantruming. So, I remove myself, not in an angry way, but quite matter-of-factly, and wait for him to be ready for me to comfort him.
It's frustrating, I know. There's nothing worse than watching your child totally out of control, but it's such a normal process for them, and since we're so far removed from that age that it's hard for us.
Okay, I hope all that came out coherent. And, one tiny last note, sometimes when was sure that ds was just crazy, lol, sometimes a good ride in the sling was all he needed.
