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This isn't "helpful" per se, but it was the attitude that finally got us through the rest of DD's first year. We just realized BOTH kids lived with another child, and they just had to learn to deal with it. Yes, I did stuff to help DS adjust when it was possible, but I also said a 1,000 times, "When you were a baby, I had to do just this same thing to help you be safe/happy/comfortable/fed." And, when DS woke DD, which he did at least once a day until after she turned one, I would have to tell myself, "She lives with a toddler, and this is how toddlers act, and she will just have to adjust." I would tell DS if he was quiet, she might sleep longer, and we could..... whatever. I know it is HARD on our little big kids, but a baby has no coping skills whatsoever and NEEDS immediate attention as often as possible. That your DH will be with you for three weeks is a boon. What is happening now will be very different by the time he goes back to work. I was alone with DS and DD before she was a week old, and we managed. Some days were better than others, but it all worked out. There has been no left over grudge or anything, and the kids are great friends. I know, I know, everyone says that, but it IS true.
As for the rough handling, well, she's a toddler. It means next to nothing. And it obviously gets her attention she naturally craves. Heck, it's probably one of the first times she has really been able to get a rise out of you, yk? DS did not start screeching until DD was born. Coincidence? I do not think so.
And remember, right now you and the entire house are making a big shift. In three weeks, it will be done; the baby will be a fact in Veronica's life; things will be better, even if only a little bit.
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Rachael
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