When to tap? How many times a day? What issue(s) to address first?

Discussion in 'EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique' started by justthemama, May 4, 2010.

  1. justthemama

    justthemama Amity's Focus Member

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    I'm having trouble deciding when/how often to tap and what to focus on at this point. I've noticed that sometimes the relief is delayed and sometimes that wash of calm and peacefulness washes over me out of the blue even if I haven't tapped in hours. I know it's related to the tapping (well, I strongly feel it's related LOL) because it didn't happen before I started last Tuesday night. So I'm wondering how often and how to space it out, to get maximum benefit.

    Also, I'm not sure where to focus. My biggest issue is anxiety and the shortness of breath that leads to for me. Also, my stomach is part of the culprit. The more anxious I am the worse it is....I get a ton of trapped gas and indigestion and the more bloated I am, the harder it is to take a deep breath and that either starts or exacerbates the shortness of breath. Of course all of that leads to hyperventilation which makes me feel even worse and then it's a terrible cycle that's very hard to break.

    So I think there are underlying issues that have caused this level of anxiety (i.e. hard to deal with) to come back after having it under control for many years. We have had a really rough 5-7 years or so (ending a year or so ago). There are specific things that happened...I think they all added up till I got to a breaking point, if that makes sense.

    So do I tap on anxiety/shortness of breath or do I tap on these past traumatic experiences, like my daughter's stroke (and all the residual feelings/fears) or my husband's emotional affair (and residual)? There are probably close to a dozen specific bad things that I found traumatizing. In fact, I think I have PTSD. Last time I had it (maybe I'm prone to it?) it took me about 3 years to feel 100% better and back to normal. I don't want to wait that long.

    I really want to deal with and move past the five+ years of traumatic/difficult experiences but I also want to "fix" how I feel in the present really badly but am wondering if I have to first fix the past?

    Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks!
  2. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    Shellie.

    Consistent, regular tapping is very useful. For some of us (me!) it is challenging to do anything consistently and regularly.

    My most general suggestion is to tap as much as you can, as often as you can. Be patient with yourself and with the process. Honor yourself. Honor the process. Let all of the steps and all of your feelings be o.k. while they are with you.

    One thing that has been transformative for me has been continuous finger tapping. In case you don't use the finger points, you call see them here About Emotional Freedom Technique - EFT Training UK

    I love how subtle and convenient finger tapping is and use if very, very frequently: while driving, in the midst of stressful conversations or situations, while walking.

    For anxiety and shortness of breath, I suggest finger tapping each time those come up. If you are in a place where you can tap on all of the points, focus on the feeling (where is it? does it have a name? a color?) and tap on these feelings as they come up. When they change, change your words.

    For example:
    ET I have this anxiety and I can't breathe, I choose to love and accept myself.
    ET I have this green anxiety in my chest....
    ET I have the panicky feeling about not being able to breathe...

    If you are hyperventilating and/or can't bring yourself to tap for some reason, imagine yourself tapping on the points and think the reminder phrases. It works!

    I would suggest that as you tap on the acute situation (i.e., shortness of breath), you watch your response and see which specific events come up. If an event presents itself, work with that event.

    You can also make a list of the events and work through them at a tap on what feels right basis. I think the order is less important than that you do the work.

    Linda and I recently attended an incredible seminar called Matrix Reimprinting which takes EFT to an amazing new level. It is a way of changing past events (reimprinting). If you are interested, I can provide more information on that too.
  3. justthemama

    justthemama Amity's Focus Member

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    Thanks so much--that is incredibly helpful. I read the other day and just now got a chance to reply and while I really wasn't "feeling it" with the finger points (even when going through a whole sequence) doing it continuously does seem to have a very positive effect. I got through an acutely distressing situation this afternoon by just doing the finger points and even though I let myself get panicky before I remembered to start, it got me settled really easily after, which was a welcomed relief!

    The part about letting all the feelings be o.k. is really helpful/true. My husband said something similar tonight--he has been recognizing that one of my biggest issues is feeling negatively toward myself for my feelings (and not being able to control them)....so that's definitely an issue for me.

    The guilt and fear related to my dd's stroke and illness is really the biggie...I'm trying to let go of that (the guilt comes from my choice to work rather than lie down with her the night before it happened). I'm not sure how to break it down to tap. How specific does this have to be? Do I start more generally and then narrow it down based on how I feel?

    Thanks!
  4. mamabear

    mamabear ~*~smile~*~

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    Hi Shellie,

    I would start right there. "I feel guilty because I went to work." Tap on that.

    In my experience you can start wherever. You just tune into how you're feeling. Think about the situation with your dd's stroke, tune into your body - what are you feeling? Where? Tap on it. When done, tune in again - has the feeling changed? How? Tap on that.

    There's no right or wrong with this, just pick an emotion - guilt - okay. How does the guilt about the past situation affect you? Where do you feel it in your body? Tap on it.

    Make sense?
  5. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    I'm glad that finger tapping helped you.

    Lauren's suggestions for tapping are right on.

    Another thing you might try for the particular event with your dd's stroke is combining EFT with ho'oponopono. Here are a couple of videos. The first uses ho'oponopono words with tapping. The second is a song using the words and you can just tap along and see what feelings come up.

    YouTube - EFT & Ho'oponopono with Brad Yates

    YouTube - Hooponopono

    If things should get too intense while you are tapping, to a little HeartMath: place a hand on your heart. Breathe into your heart for a count of 6 and breathe out for a count of 6. Continue until you feel better.
  6. justthemama

    justthemama Amity's Focus Member

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    Oh wow...the Ho'oponopono really struck a nerve. I don't know why I was ignoring this but I totally didn't get the spiritual connection with EFT until I started reading about Ho'oponopono + EFT and tried a quick round with the Ho'oponopono. I've had this strong pull to get closer to God the past year or so (maybe more) as I've felt disconnected. I've never been into formal religion so I wasn't sure church would be the answer and haven't followed through on trying that. But the Ho'oponopono...very interesting. This might be some of what I'm looking for in that regard. I was really edgy most of the day but am feeling a lot better atm...
  7. justthemama

    justthemama Amity's Focus Member

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    Is the goal to make any negative response be completely gone? Because I can feel "better" about something but still feel a little wave of anxiety in my chest when trying to tune in. I haven't gotten rid of that for any of my issues yet. Funny thing is it's the same little wave of excitement you'd feel before doing something fun too, like riding a roller coaster. So I'm not even sure it's a bad feeling or one I should try to get rid of. For a couple years I've been trying to deaden that feeling, whether it's in response to something positive or negative. But that doesn't seem right and I am now only feeling it with negatives and no longer with positives....which really seems off to me. I remember as a kid if it was the day before my birthday or something, I'd feel that feeling all day. I didn't consider it a bad thing. Now when I feel it, I do consider it a bad thing. So I'm trying to reconcile all this and figure out what's normal.

    I *am* looking for an EFT practitioner locally...I haven't found anyone yet close by. It seems like my problems might be way too complicated for long-distance advice. :lol:

    But thanks Lauren and Natalia...I will take all the help I can get!
  8. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    I am heading out the door to hike with my children, but I want to quickly reply Shelly to say that your problems are not too complicated for long-distance work. Many eft practitioners do work by phone. Many of us work exclusively (or almost exclusively) by phone.

    When I am the client for phone eft, I love the safe feeling of being in my own space. I pick a time when everyone is out of the house or asleep, I turn down the lights, grab the tissues and let myself feel like I'm wrapped in a cocoon. It feels so safe.

    If you don't find anyone local, I hope you consider distance work.

    There are other ways you can be supported too. For example, if I were to work with you, I would probably make the first session a homeopathy session and send you a few remedies to start the healing before we even started tapping.

    I hope that you find someone to work with. For me, being guided and supported in my healing work has been essential to move through big things.

    The work you are doing on your own is laying the foundation for deeper healing too.

    Many hugs to you.
  9. justthemama

    justthemama Amity's Focus Member

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    I'm glad to hear long-distance works well. I was looking for someone local who does counseling AND EFT or TFT or Meridian Therapy or the like but that looks like a no go. I'm not even sure I really need counseling...I've felt in the past like I'd feel better if I could talk to someone neutral but I'm not sure it's necessary.

    EFT is amazing to me...I still have trouble believing it works. It hasn't worked 100% on my anxiety yet but I figure I just have more layers of things to fix before those underlying causes of the generalized anxiety are corrected enough.

    I was able to remove a couple biggies really easily...one is the feeling of dread I've felt every night when dd falls asleep. I removed that in one session where I focused on forgiving myself for working the night before the stroke...and this "cure" has also resulted in me being able to relax and fall asleep nicely for the first time in years.

    The other thing is being in my car...I had panic attacks the last three times I drove and a couple nights ago I hopped in the car to go to the store and immediately felt panicky before I even turned the key. My dh was with me and immediately started pressuring me to ignore it. I tried to tap but he wouldn't shut up and let me get to my 'zen' spot. So I told him he'd have to go alone and went back into the house, tapped and immediately felt calm and relief. I tapped on the recent panic experiences in the car, until the physical response was completely gone, and tonight I was able to get in the car and sit in there for five minutes. I could have stayed longer...but was amazed that I couldn't conjure up the panicked feeling (it's a claustrophobia/trapped feeling for me) no matter how hard I tried. I'm not sure if actually driving will make anything resurface so I've planned a very short trip to test it out and I know if I have issues, I can tap on them for a day and then move on.

    I'm so glad I found this...even skeptical dh (who's apologized profusely for his behavior in the car) is now saying that he thinks actually addressing my issues and "releasing" them rather than learning new ways to ignore/bury them will be better for me.
  10. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    Shellie. The work you are doing is amazing! Way to go!

    I still have trouble believing it works too -- even though I see it working beautifully, powerfully every single day. This is where we let go of the how and the why. If it works, it works.

    I am so happy to hear about your wonderful progress. You are doing great.
  11. justthemama

    justthemama Amity's Focus Member

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    Thanks Natalia! It's amazing. About once a year I go through a bout of anxiety that's very difficult to deal with and typically goes away on its own after a while...but every year the bout seems to last a little longer and my old coping skills seem to work less. So to have a tool to not only get through a rough patch but also apply to the day to day stressors really helps.
  12. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Shellie...it sounds like you are doing great.

    Long distance works great. Most of the work I have done was on the telephone one different time zones..even over the INTL date line <grin>

    I said to someone at the Matrix Reimprinting workshop...that 'miracles become boring when doing EFT'. What I meant was...that you start take them for granted. The stuff we can shift, the trauma, the anger, the sadness is so profound. I was able to heal the grief over have two c sections and not having a natural birth. I was not sure I could ever heal that.

    We are here for you.

    And yes, the spiritual connection is profound.:heart smirk:

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