THe most surprising thing that came up to tap on...

Discussion in 'EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique' started by Linda, Jul 8, 2007.

  1. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    the other night...the night I posted on this thread...about how angry I was.
    http://www.amitymama.com/vb/eft-mama/345330-tapping.html#post2587257
    I was sitting in bed just letting thoughts cross my mind as I tapped and said "I am PISSED"...I said it over and over...and what came to mind was "I hate Leah".

    screeching halt. UGH! What a horrible thought, I LOVE my daughter. So I asked myself 'do I resent Leah?' the answer was 'no'. Then I asked myself if I 'hated' Leah,....and the answer was yes, and it was a 9/10. So I tapped while I said the phrase "I hate Leah" at each point...and I did the gamut on it as well. I just tapped about 3 rounds, then one gamut, then another round and it was at a zero. I just stuck to that phrase, I did not feel any need to elaborate at all on it.

    Now, I have tapped on the fact that 'I resent Aidra' before, so I am not new to the whole idea of thinking horrible negative low vibrational thoughts about my children, but this one really shocked me.

    The good thing is, my mind let me go there and I got to tap on it, and now it has no intensity *at all*.

    I have to say that my kids have slept better since that night that I tapped on me, and their insomnia seems to be gone that they had all week. Additionally my daily anger is really low now.

    Hope this helps someone.

    Edited to add a bit more...

    Before that tapping moment, I would not have been able to read that someone 'hated' their child (even subconciously as I did ) and been able to empathize with it. But, I posted it to show, that the issues that can come up when looking to tap on stuff can be so seemingly unrelated and so seemingly off the wall. My relationship with her lately has been really good. I've been much more patient and calm when dealing with her even when she has been challenging me SO, it was a big surprise to me that when I looked inside myself that phrase came up. Very odd. I remember when I had the thought "i resent Aidra'. That thought did not shock me at all. I didn't like it, but it did not surprise me. She has been one tough kid, and has sent me on my journey through EFT and LoA...is one of my greatest teachers and I love her dearly, but she is tough, and I did resent that. Not anymore though. It is all gone with the aid of EFT...

    The other point that I have learned in the last few years in learning about energy medicine...is that something like this..'I hate my daughter" is *just* energy. It is NOT horrible, it does not make me a bad person, but for some reason that got stuck somewhere in my psyche....the energy disruption was stuck. WHY? WHo knows. That said, it is NOT positive energy. (of course)But, it is just energy. And believe me before that moment I did not think that hate was something I felt about either of my kids. We don't even use that word in our house at all.

    As a matter of fact, I am starting to believe/understand that we carry layers of energy, family patterns from our families energetically with us. It occurs to me as I am typing, I KNOW my mother hated her mother even though she would never say that. I know that my mother hated me. I also know that this maternal grandmother hated her mother and my mother hated her maternal grandmother. There is a lot of hate energy in my family among the women. I think that maybe I carried some of that in me. Now that I think of it, that makes a LOT of sense to me. I read an article in the EFT newsletter about 'Inheriting illness from our Ancestors' that made me think about a lot of this~the layers of energy disruption that we can inherit from our ancestors/family. If you are interested...
    Thoughts about inheriting illness from our ancestors

    I could talk/type about this all day. :jump:
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
  2. bubbles

    bubbles New Member

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    That is really great. It is so nice to hear that other people have those type of thoughts. I am still trying to get the tapping to work for me. I believe in it and am very hopeful but have not had any experiences like that yet. I don't have much time at all to work on it so that is a major factor. One of your recent posts inspired me to look up workshops in my area. I am really hoping to go to one soon as I know that will jump start things for me.
  3. Christi

    Christi Perpetually NAK'ing

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    I don't get this tapping stuff... LOL I thought you had to say a phrase while tapping? I'm confused. What do you mean by "did the gamut on it as well"?
  4. lakshmi_mama

    lakshmi_mama cleaning house

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    Wow Linda, that is really powerful. I know that whenever we stop resisting our thoughts and accept them they discharge. The EFT really speeds that up. I love reading your successes. It keeps me motivated to get back to the EFT. I am definitely going to get back into tapping. I mean it. Axel leaves this week for his new job so I am going to be on my own with the girls for at least 6 months. EFT is high on my list of things to revisit when I can do it without the distractions of our muck. (and yes, tapping on the muck will be at the top of my EFT list! )
  5. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Well...
    have you read about it in the manual? I mean have you read about the basics of EFT?

    Often you can tap while thinking about an issue, like a headache or some anger...and just focus in on the issue to try and see what words come to mind. It is more effective to do EFT on something specific. So, I was angry that evening and I did not know what I was angry *about* so I tapped just focusing on my anger to see if nay issue came up. Anger is too global, I wanted to be more specific. The issue that came up was 'I hate Leah' and when I said that phrase out loud it made me feel very intense emotions....so I just tapped saying that phrase over and over. I got rid of the anger just saying that phrase. I could have used different words, but I didn't feel the need. I could have gotten specific by describing a story with Leah that illustrated these intense feelings I had...but I just didn't need to.

    The 9 gamut is in the manual. Often practitioners don't use it anymore. But it can be very useful if you get an issue down to a 2-4 intensity and it just won't budge anymore. Often if you do the 9 gamut and another round you can get it to lower your intensity even more and it did for me.

    clear as mud???
  6. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    I added a bunch of stuff to my original post. :)
  7. Deborah

    Deborah New Member

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    Family Systems and EFT

    Linda,
    I was interested in your mentioning about ancestors. I also study Family Constellations which is all about our family systems and "stuck" energy shows up in different family members. It's amazingly interesting stuff -- you are definitely onto something with tapping and looking at the family history. A few pointers -- any secrets, black sheep or early deaths will disrupt the natural flow of love in a family. Whatever is suppressed and not acknowledged will show up somehow in someone else. Miscarriages are huge -- the next born child will often carry the weight of the unborn child with all sorts of confusion. Hidden abuse will show up differently. So your feelings of hate for Leah (and I totally understand how bold it is to admit that and that those are just feeligns) are not about Leah at all. They are about something earlier in your family that's showing up in your current family. It's not karma though, it's systemic entanglements that are inherited so to speak.

    A few of the healing phrases used are:

    It stops here
    I leave it with you
    I honor you as my mother for giving me life
    You are my first child and you will always have a place in my heart.

    If you are at all interested, John Payne has some easy to read books on Family Constellations.

    If you can ever get to a workshop in your area, that would be awesome. It's much more popular overseas than in the states.

    Hope this makes some sense -- it feels appropriate to share with you.

    - DD
  8. Kbsmama

    Kbsmama Active Member

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    Holy crap! (That's good,not bad). I think I can use this I talked briefly about Constellations with Deborah, but this is making me think about it even more. Oh, so many things....Both of my Dad's parents were rather "black sheep." And my grandma's mother was reportedly horrible to her. My grandma told us that after her mother died, she woke up one night to see her mother sitting at the end of her bed, shaking her head at her disapprovingly. Or she dreamt it, but it surely seemed real. My grandma's brother was gay, and while I don't know what "causes" one to be gay, it is interesting to me that his mother was known to be such a tyrant. There is so much there that I cannot take the time to type. Family proclivity to depression and hysteria (in the case of my great grandmother and aunt) have been suggested many times. One of my grandfather's brothers is known to have attempted suicide, and possibly accomplished it later. Many in my mom's family died of heart failure. My mom's dad's brother shot himself a few years ago after being diagnosed with cancer.

    I think I may have mentioned before that I was conceived out of wedlock when my mom was 16. I have no doubt that somewhere in my mom there is "hate energy" (?) for me, for my existence. With two more siblings fast after me, I'm probably not alone, but I was the first, and the reason for their marriage.

    Anyway...I can do some tapping, I think...LOL.

    Thanks for the words, Deborah.
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
  9. Kbsmama

    Kbsmama Active Member

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    Holy Crap, again!

    So, I started tapping while I was cooking oatmeal (odd timing, but I've decided, it doesn't take that long, I'm just going to do it). So, I'm sure I looked like a nut standing in my kitchen in my nightgown, cooking oatmeal and tapping and crying.

    I decided to tap on my grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. I did a very general thing and then wound up focusing on my grandmother (because I knew her best, I suppose). I can't say this is EXACTLY what I said, but pretty much. I was surprised and amazed by the amount of emotion that came up.

    Even though my grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, and uncles, my family, has endured great pain, suffering, sadness, depression, illness and disease they could not overcome, I love an accept myself.

    Even though they were treated badly by others, were hurt and could not even talk about or release their pain, I am still a good person.....

    This pain, This pain, This pain. I was crying here, very emotional, surprisingly. And, DD needed strawberries. So, I had to stop and wash strawberries. I stirred my oatmeal and started again.

    When I started again, I wasn't as emotional as the first start. Some points set off more emotion in them than others, so in some cases, I repeated them. Some of the points:

    This pain.
    This suffering.
    This loneliness.
    This anger.
    This hysteria.
    This inability to love.
    This hopelessness.
    This despair.
    This depression.
    This weight.
    This mistrust.
    This hate.
    This shame.
    .
    I release these feelings.
    You couldn't release them, you couldn't talk about them, but I release them for all of us.
    They do not serve us.
    They stop here.

    I went on, mentioning thoughts that occurred to me. My grandmother according to speculation and convoluted bits and pieces, never direct admission on her part, had a baby out of wedlock. That baby was taken from her at birth. She heard it crying as they carried it down the hall. They told her it was dead. It is believed that that baby was adopted by members of my grandfather's family (a cousin of my grandmother was married to someone in his family; the child was not his, nor were they involved at the time).

    Anyway, thoughts that occurred:
    I'm trapped.
    I want my baby.
    Where is my baby? (These were particularly emotional for me).
    I don't want my baby.
    I don't want this baby.

    And, I release all these feelings.
    You couldn't, but I can.
    They don't serve us.

    The baby was getting fussy, so I was holding her, and I kind of laughed, thinking of my grandmother and ancestors, and said, "I release these feelings, with a baby on my hip." Then I said, "You would be so proud." For whatever reason, that set me off, and I was bawling. So, I'm crying and saying "You would be so proud."
    You would be so proud.
    They are so beautiful and perfect
    and you would be so proud
    I wish I could have known you now
    and I could share my life with you
    these babies
    I could share this with you
    you could release these feelings while you were alive
    but you couldn't
    but I can
    I can release them for all of us
    I can release them for them (my kids).
    These feelings don't serve them.
    But your love stays.
    You stay with them.
    And you would be so proud of them.
    You would be so proud of me.

    Now....There was more. I mentioned names, mentioned knowing and not knowing some. I don't know, and didn't know when I was tapping whether a soul needs me to have negative energy released for it, as I am guessing that the negative leaves when we leave this realm (thus heaven). But, I did say that I released it for them, and for all of us, feeling as though I was releasing it for their descendants, not just me. And that felt good.

    Again it sounds nuts. But it felt really good, and, again, I was amazed at the emotion that came out. Amazing. And beautiful.

    hope i haven't hijacked.
  10. Morgansma

    Morgansma Active Member

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    Linda...wow! That's just incredible!

    I have been reading here on and off. I am big into energy and energy medicine. I think I need to start this right away. We have been having a lot of issues in our household and I'd like to get a handle on them.
  11. Deborah

    Deborah New Member

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    Jody --
    that's amazing work -- thanks for sharing it -- you really tapped into something.

    And your point about standing there holding your baby when your grandmother couldn't is huge -- all our ancestors want is for us to be happy. When we can carry on life, they feel good and we can feel good. Your language was so amazingly perfect --

    Hugs,
    Deb.
  12. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Deborah, THANK YOU, mama. I am so glad you shared. The HATE in my family was a big realization. I also know that my maternal grandfather HATED my grandmother.his daughter because she was a girl not a boy. He would even dress her like a boy. OMG. ugh. He would leave wine at the foot of her bed in big casks to ferment in her bedroom...yikes. You know it feels so good to take the yucky family stories and to be able to do something with them and release the negative energy. My goodness, I have absolute goosebumps. Ohh and I am teary eyed is such a good way~with a BIG GRIN on my face!

    I agree, I don't believe that the hate is Karma...it *is* 'systemic entanglements'...thank you for those words. I just read bout that last night:) See..your engineering background serves you well~lol!

    THank you for the book rec. I am really looking forward to reading about family constellations.

    Jody~AWESOME work! I am so happy for you. The breakthroughs and the shifting is so great, so empowering, so releasing. Thank you for continuing the conversation here.

    Morgansmama..we would love for you to join us in the conversation!

    :cloud9: :heart: :rainbow: :jump:
  13. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Deborah, can you elaborate on this one.
    My first pregnancy was a miscarriage after trying for a long time. Then I had Leah a couple of years later.

    Thank you:)
    ~L
    hmm...I was just thinking I remember being so scared I was going to loose Leah in the first trimester because it took me so long to get pregnant and I lost the first pregnancy. I think I get what you might mean by the confusion ...wanting the baby but being scared of loosing them. Ugh.I had a period of heavy bleeding around 10-12 weeks with Leah..very heavy. hmmm...

    Wow, so much stuff.
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  14. Deborah

    Deborah New Member

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    (I just posted on the other thread to look at miscarriages and then saw this message).

    Here goes ....
    I used to say I am the mother of three children. I actually am the mother of four children. Even though we might process the sadness and grief of miscarrying, we often do a lousy job of recognizing that unborn child as our child. From a family constellation point of view, it is imperative that I recognize my first child, recognize that Matthew (my firstborn) is my second child, and so on.

    What happens is that if the unborn doesn't know its proper place, the rest of the children will feel out of place. They will feel unsettled and stuff will come up. (How's that for a totally unscientific and vague statement ? ...)

    So from an EFT point of view, try saying these statements and see if you get emotion. The language in F.C. is very old-fashioned -- "rightful place" is a very reverent and respected term and not at all a put-down.

    Assuming you had one miscarriage and then two born children, here's what I would say:

    Statements:

    I am the mother of three children.

    To the first child: We (your father and I) honor you and we miss you and you will always have a special place in our hearts -- you are our first. Your sisters miss you and you are not forgotten. (Expect grief and mourning here -- it will pass quickly with the EFT and you will feel very at peace and calm.)

    Focusing on Leah (not in person though): You are our second child. You are the younger sister of our first child and the older sister of our third child. That is your rightful place.

    Focusing on the youngest: You are our third child. You are the youngest sister of our first child and the younger sister of Leah. That is your rightful place.

    Can't wait to hear what happens ....
    - Deb.
  15. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Deborah, THANK YOU. Though the wording may be antiquated, still the words sound just right. Last night it came to me the first baby(yes, my first pregnancy before I became pregnant with Leah) was a girl. And (of course) I remember my due Date July 23rd..so she is my July 23rd little girl.

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