Night Weaning a VERY High Needs/Spirited Child??? Can it be done peacefully?

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Aliyas_Mommy, Jun 8, 2005.

  1. Aliyas_Mommy

    Aliyas_Mommy New Member

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    Hi Everyone!

    I'd like to introduce myself, my name is Candi and I'm a SAHM to the love of my life 14 month old Aliya (and married to the other love of my life, Craig). Ali is a very high needs little one but is doing well with an AP mama :) We've coslept from day one (her choice, not mine initally), and are still breastfeeding strong at 14 months, however that's my problem... she still wakes me about hourly to latch on ALL NIGHT LONG and I'm a wreck. I see lots of posts here about night weaning, and many mention Dr. Jay Gordons method which I'm considering (I have all the "no cry" books and although I love them the tactics aren't working for my little darling) however I'm scared to try it with Ali given how hysterical she can get (we're talking soaked in sweat, gagging and throwing up, hysterical screaming all in less then 5mins if I try to refuse to nurse at night)... she couldn't care less that DH and I are still in bed with her or holding her or kissing her etc, she wants one thing and one thing only. So I'm just wondering if anyone else with a very spirited little one managed to night wean, how painful was it, how long did it take, any tips at all?

    Thanks so much! Can't wait to get to know all of you better!

    Candi
  2. punkin

    punkin Amity's Focus Member

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    I'm sorry, I dont really have any advice for night weaning at that age. I have been working on night weaning my youngest, but she is 2. We've been nursing to sleep and I tell her that nunny has to go night-night too, and she can have nunny again when its light outside. It's been about 3 weeks now (i think) and she is still waking 1-2 times a night most nights. I remind her and she fusses for a few minutes, then gives in to letting my cuddle her.

    I'm just not sure that would work with a 14 mo. old. I know it wouldnt have when Taylor was that age.
  3. Selissa

    Selissa Who said I was Girly????

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    unfortunatly for you mama i sounds like she just isn't ready. i know the feelling, my 28 month old isn't ready either and it can be very rough. (((hugs)))
  4. Aliyas_Mommy

    Aliyas_Mommy New Member

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    Thanks girls

    I think I'll just have to suck it up (or let her suck it up as the case may be LOL) for awhile longer, hopefully once she can start understanding daytime and nighttime it'll go better, just the past two days she has understood that she needs to go upstairs to bed when shes tired, and she'll come and grab my legs and then goto the stairs and start crawling up to the bedroom, its the cutest thing and I'm so proud of her (of course it still takes about 45mins-1hour of reading & nursing for her to fall asleep for naps or at bedtime but hey at least she's getting the idea!)

    I'll keep you posted!
  5. thea

    thea Active Member

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    Time will most likely make it easier. My first try ended after about an hour of hysterical screaming, begging, etc. I tried again after a couple of months, she was ready, and it was easy. She was much older than your little one, though. I was going to try shortly after she turned two, but had to put it off because she had pertussis. She was finally nightweaned at 30 months.
  6. Sheena

    Sheena New Member

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    Is your dd MY dd??? You're describing the exact same toddler, lol.

    I tried one night to nightwean her and it was a sad disaster... she is 19 months and she nurses hourly at night. I don't enjoy it, honestly, I am barely tolerating it at this point. I feel your pain and I'll be sucking it up right along side you!
  7. Christi

    Christi Perpetually NAK'ing

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    Hugs to you! My Ry is very high needs/spirited, always has been. We tried the Jay Gordon thing around the age of 2 and it just didn't work. At 28 months he still wakes twice a night to nurse. No advice, just a little commiseration!
  8. hello1107

    hello1107 moving to the next phase

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    Hugs to you. That is so hard. My DD was the exact same way. Night weaning with her didn't work until she was closer to 2. She was not really ready for it until she was nursing only a couple of times per night.
  9. huntersmama

    huntersmama New Member

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    this may not be what you want to hear but here goes.

    my dd was exactly the same way, i was a mess and she nursed all night long, I started workign nights when she was around 2 1/2 yrs and she was fine on nights I was not hoem, but if there was a boob in bed with her she wanted it...:lol:

    I got her nightweaned at 3 1/2 yrs becasue i was pregant and sick and really eneded one good nights sleep to get better.

    we just talked about it before bed, adn i asked her if she coudl please let mama sleep, she coudl cuddle if she needed but no nursing. well all this time later she has only nursed at night if she was asck

    i think if you can waiti a bit...maybe nto as long as i did:smirk: but a bit, it will be easier when she is ready for it

    :hug:

    I know it isnt; easy
  10. Aliyas_Mommy

    Aliyas_Mommy New Member

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    an update, she's almost 21 months old and NOTHING has changed other then that she's gotten more demanding and can now throw tantrums get even angrier. I'm still beyond exhausted, every weekend I say "this is it, we're going to refuse to nurse at night" and every weekend I don't end up having the energy or strength to try. Anyone else out there have luck yet?
  11. Sheena

    Sheena New Member

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    Yes! We have had success and it was much easier than I anticipated. Dd is 24 months and now sleeps (generally) from 7:30-6:30/7:00.

    It felt like the right time so dh slept with her and I slept in the guest room for about a week. He has always put her to sleep by bouncing her on the birth ball so she is used to him being part of her night routine. The first night she cried for about 5 minutes but dh was with her and she loves and trusts him. He told her she could "neh-neh" when the sun came up. She woke maybe one more time that whole week and that was that.

    Now I can sleep right next to her and while she still needs to snuggle and sleep at least part of the night on top of me she doesn't ask to nurse. I love to snuggle and have her sleep on me so it's a good compromise, lol.

    At first I kept waking up, which sucked. I woke every two hours as I was used to but now I sleep mostly through the night and it makes a HUGE difference. Sleep rocks. There is hope!
  12. My 2nd baby never slept well; it was crazy, for months he would wake up sometimes 15 or more times a night. Never less than 6 or 7. I tried many things, Chinese herbs, Ayurveda, etc. They all helped a little. The only thing that really helped was when I took him to a professional classical homeopath. It didn't solve the problem but it did help quite a bit. He's now 2 1/2. I want to try Dr. Gordon's method but I'm not sure if I have the physical stamina for it.

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