My repressed anger & anxiety and PPP

Discussion in 'EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique' started by Percy's Mom, Jan 29, 2009.

  1. Percy's Mom

    Percy's Mom New Member

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    I am bursting at the seams with frustration. Just barely containing the massive sense of unresolved anger and anxiety. Tamping down this repressed stuff rumbling underground like an activating volcano.

    It all started a week ago. I was researching brain function, learning about anxiety and the amygdala and stumbled upon a concept of visualizing a healing neuronal firing.

    The method is called, "Ticking Your Amygdala" and is described as, "You can use several visualization methods outlined below to move the dominant brain activity from the amygdala to the prefrontal cortex." on this website, anxiety and your amygdala

    I gave it a try. And much to my surprised I was overwhelmed by this peaceful but powerful knowledge that I was living on a massive growth of repressed anxiety. What a surprise! I have consciously been seeking to address my debilitating anxiety and psychological issues in recent years and fully believed I had been open and honest with myself. Wow! How powerful repression can be. But when I looked at this I saw that repression had been a survival technique. Until NOW, I could not survive the emergence of this repressed anxiety. My body couldn't take it. I am already completely overwrought with a non-stop flow of epinephrine and nor-epinephrine. But when I discovered this technique to shift from amygdala/anxiety to frontal cortex/rational calm, then the repressed stuff was released because it would no longer kill me.

    Fast forward a day or two when I discover Linda's Tapping Challenge. How sweetly it is dovetailing with this "Ticklling". (No small co-incidence that I had been writing out Intentions early last week. No doubt that finding these two are a result of articulating my Intentions.)

    But this Personal Peace Procedure is not coming easy for me. Not at any step. I found making my list difficult. I am finding doing the tapping difficult. I start on one of my seven and unwittingly jump to another without finishing the first and start a jumbled manic switching from issue to issue without resolution.

    Last night I had a dream. Frustration colored each scene but the dream was numb to emotion. Then it became clear - rage was there - but repressed - repressed to the point of numbness. Here is that SAME issue!!! This time the curtain has been drawn back by Linda's thread.

    Wow! My work is cut out for me. It cannot be denied.

    Out of curiousity I went to emofree to read about PPP. It was so helpful. The Personal Peace Procedure Linda's suggestion to start with 7 actually set me free. Craig suggests a minimum of 50 and that stopped me dead in my tracks. I'm struggling with 7 - a very manageable number. I loved the point that Craig makes about one of the attributes of PPP, "As a useful substitute for finding core issues."

    I have been stuck trying to get to some more of my core issues. Stuck tapping over and over, assuming that I am knocking down one tree at a time out of a vast forest. But these memories are easier to list and I can get to work on them.

    It will take great discipline for me because of the immense repressed stuff underneath. The anxiety and rage are so miserable to experience even as I process them with EFT. That is why they are so repressed. The pain of them is indescribable. But there is no way out but through so I must commit to the process.

    Deep gratitude to you Linda for putting this out there. - Percy's Mom
  2. Rhea

    Rhea Tickled by the view

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    :big hug: Percy's Mom :big hug:

    Rhea
  3. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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  4. bubbles

    bubbles New Member

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    It is great to hear of some progress on your journey. I often feel overwhelmed by how much I need to work on. It sounds like you have a good focus and have found a great way to really tackle things. I look forward to hearing more. I am definitely going to check out you link (and Natalia's previous post).
  5. Percy's Mom

    Percy's Mom New Member

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    Natalia - wow, what a fascinating link. So glad you posted it. I will definitely be spending time with that. The whole field of neuroscience has become very interesting to me.

    This line from your link really sums up my situation: "Well-established neuro-pathways that have dictated a life of misery or disenchantment must be “rewired” before genuine change can take place and a life of abundance can be created." That's what I've been talking about. How reaffirming it is to read this from the emofree website. Thank you so much!! Just another bit of confirmation that I am on the right path. I love this place.
  6. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    I love this place too :)

    I think I need to get back to that amygdala tapping myself. Thank you for bringing it up.
  7. Percy's Mom

    Percy's Mom New Member

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    Natalia - I saw on another thread that you know a good bit about brain function. I am interested in learning more. How did you learn? What kind of sources did you use? Do you know of any particularly good websites?

    I love learning more about the brain. It gives me something tangible to work with.
  8. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Percy's mom. You are doing so well.I am really appreciating your energy and your drive.

    I want to say a couple of things to you and to everyone.
    You are perfect just the way you are...you just might need a little tune up.

    Let it be easy...I know it can seem overwhelming...that there seems to be so much work to do, but it really can have a snowball effect. And, you can have quantum leaps in the process! IT may seem like things are not shifting...but be persistent. Keep clearing your stuff out. One day(maybe very soon) you will notice more peace and harmony in your life...and you can build on that knowledge! We are here in the forums and can support each other in the process. That in itself is such a HUGE blessing.

    There is a very interesting book
    Amazon.com: the brain that changes itself by norman doidge: Books
    'The Brain that Changes Itself" by Doidge. It is all about brain plasticity. It is so fascinating and HOPEFUL. My first degree is in Neurobiology/Psychopharmacology....and I am constantly amazed at the overlap between those disciplines and all this woo woo stuff. :hoo:

    There is another book...
    'Train your Mind, Change Your Brain'
    I have not read it, but also along the same lines...Showing proof that meditation(or things like EFT...) change neurochemistry.

    BUt as my mentor says...
    Keep clearing out the sh*t, weeding your gardens. Just DO it.

    And if you don't find yourself just doing it, then find an accountability partner/tapping partner. It really helps.
  9. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    I wish you were right! You must have been reading something I cut and pasted?

    If you can be more specific about what you are looking for, maybe I can be more helpful.
  10. 3Gs4Me

    3Gs4Me Blessed Beyond Belief!

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  11. Percy's Mom

    Percy's Mom New Member

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    I woke up thinking about the changes going on within me. I learned about the Amgydala Click a week ago and have been practising without cease. It has begun to take place automatically - just as the anxiety stressors pop into gear the "click" responds and relaxes my shoulders and stops the physiological response. It is almost miraculous after a lifetime of such tension.

    As it wanes, I am able to see how setting off the amygdala response was just the first action in a chain reaction that set in a kind of paralysis that has kept me imprisoned for the past 6 or 7 years. Now, visualizing brain function coupled with EFT, gives me real hope for healing and a new, productive life.

    Part of this extremely painful pattern has been the result of trying so hard and getting stuck further in the ditch. That single issue is indescribable - the harder I try the more stuck I got. It is such a Catch22. What can you do but try but trying does nothing but further exacerbate the anxiety response which completely exhausts and shuts me down. It has lead to a truly nightmarish life.

    Now that I have accomplished the 2nd step in reversing this, I have real hope that this nightmare may soon come to an end.

    Even though I knew that my brain was not functioning correctly it was so reaffirming to read Natalia's link that reaffirmed that. I have actually sought help with this very thing for years. 4 years ago I had an appointment for my little boy and me to get an evaluation at the Amen Clinic in the DC area but had to cancel b/c of a school testing when he was in 4K. Those tests were $3000 per person and were really out of my range. But now, 4 years later, I have found thought exercises and EFT practices that I can use without costs. They are truly life savers.

    The most amazing thing is to see how my expectation of the anxiety response actually stops me from moving as much as the anxiety itself. But now, with the amygdala click and brain function EFT, I can switch off that panic rush and access my will and rational thought. But learning to do that is like learning to walk again. It is not coming naturally and takes some determination.

    The fear of the anxiety has been as great a deterant as the anxiety itself. I'll be tapping on that for certain. I feel a little embarrassed about posting this here but I actually don't have anyone to share it with and it helps putting it down and sharing it somewhere.

    Until now, goal setting and envisioning actually set off the anxiety response as well. In fact, everything I did would set it off. It was a kind of, "Who do you think you are?" reaction that was shaming and epinephrine releasing. Being able to switch off the amygdala it life changing. The hope of accessing my will again is incomprehensible.

    I no longer have to repress it all. I can access brain function to avoid the horrid, crippling, endless fight/flight response. Thanks.
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2009
  12. Natalia

    Natalia New Member

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    Percy's Mom: What wonderful growth you are experiencing! I am so happy for you. Never feel embarassed posting here. I would guess that most of us don't talk about these experiences with the people we interact with daily. That is one thing about the journey. Often, we feel so alone. Everyone I have ever talked to experiences this aloneness and thinks it is because of their own situation (being single, having special needs children, being ill themselves) when, I believe, it is a universal feeling.

    Thank you for sharing your journey. You inspire me to keep tapping.
  13. Percy's Mom

    Percy's Mom New Member

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    Linda, I had not heard of Doidge nor his book but am looking forward to ordering and reading it. I have heard of Begley but was not familiar with the book you mentioned and am planning to read it as well. Thank you so much for these references.

    I know of Begley because she co-authored a book that has sparked my interest in neuroplasticity. She and Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz wrote The Mind and The Brain and I have read and reread that book and given it to several people.

    Today there was an article in my local paper about a podcast called Brain Science by Dr. Ginger Campbell. This is her 3rd year and interestingly she has interviewed both Begley and Doidge.

    www.brainsciencpodcast.com

    The synchonicity of the same message in so many ways is powerfully encouraging.

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