This could not have come at a better time. I need it but boy is it unpleasant. Here's my list: 1) shooting 45 at age 4 [done-lots and lots of stuff] 2) lizard bite (age 7) [done-just a little bit attached] 3) spilled milk rage (age 11) [done-not much emotional energy. resolved or repressed?] 4) peach ice cream punishment (age 12) 5) cut leg on vacation (age 7) 6) car sickness rage (age 6) 7) punished for cousin's accident (age 5) I am tapping on my first - Shooting 45 (age 4). I have actually set up an excel sheet to track the things that come up for each so I can work on the sub-issues that emerge. When I was a child, in fact until I was almost 30, I adored my father and actually thought he was perfect. I longed to be like him and to be loved by him. Unaware of his profound, fatal flaws that would subsume him and destroy every part of him except his actual life. Tapping each and every one of these issues is EXTREMELY difficult as they emerge such profound repressed pain and emotion. It is as if tapping gives birth to emotions that utterly overwhelm leaving me feeling actually worse than before the tapping began. I now know that this is because the tapping is actually unleashing astonishing repression of emotions and I MUST release this stuff though the fear of it is horrific. I don't have a choice. I must move forward. I am toggling back and forth between using my rational mind and facing my PPP. I love my rational mind, it is safe and good and strong and has protected me my whole life but I also retreat to it to avoid this horrible pain. That is why I started this thread, so I could put these "rational" thoughts somewhere - a sort of escape valve - so that I can get back to tapping. Tapping on this Shooting 45 has released a powerful experience of extreme conflict of feelings towards my father when I was a young child. I have found an early source of my "paralysis" - these conflicting feelings. I wanted to be like my father - but he was misogynistic, so longing to be like him entailed a kind of personal self-denial, self-hatred. That's alot of stuff to open up. Uncovering this conflict which has much more emotional charge to it than the original memory is such a surprise. The intensity went UP rather than down. That is why I have such resistance to this tapping - the intensity goes UP.