I'm not sure if this is the right forum-I am troubled by the book 1-2-3 magic

Discussion in 'Gentle guidance' started by Evan&Annekasmom, Jul 17, 2004.

  1. ThirtySomething

    ThirtySomething About to burst

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    Somewhere between blister and bliss!
    Ok. I misunderstood. I thought you meant that it getting sent somewhere was a bad thing. I suppose I thought you meant it would go to the mod forum and I didn't see any reason why that would be warranted.
  2. IndiMom

    IndiMom .

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    I've read the book and gleaned a few helpful things from it. I can't say it hurt to read it. I agree with all that Stacy has been saying. A lot of the book didn't feel right to me but I'd choose that over losing it any day. I like the books she's recommended and also am really liking Assertive Discipline so far, by Lee Canter.
  3. Kathy

    Kathy Member

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    At one point he does mention a swat on the butt to get them to their room. I loosely use it. I use it after I have said no then explained why I said no. I do listen to their side, but after awhile my "no" is not getting across. I also use it for whining.

    I got the video one day. I was hoping dh would watch it since he threatens and gets out of control while counting. He is always the one to say "well if you do that again". I am suppose to follow through with his discipline which is very annoying.

    My son use to hurt his sister and was in his room rather quickly. Yes he was angry, but needed to be taken away before he hurt her or broke more things. I have no quilt about that punishment. He is seldom like this since being out of school.
  4. SketchyRecipe

    SketchyRecipe New Member

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    I use it and I highly recommend it. I don't understand why people are shocked when they disagree with something they read in a book about parenting. We don't all agree at AW and we're supposed to all be AP parents, right?
  5. freedomlover

    freedomlover ReaderOfThreads

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    in a state of ever growing wisdom
    Years ago, I heard a man give a presentation of it (at a parent ed meeting I had to attend for a cooperative).

    I really don't have anything against it other than it doesn't really teach the adult to teach the child how to think things through. Doing that takes an adult a lot of time and effort when it is much easier (adult wise) to 1-2-3.

    It lacks a real pivotal point of helping a child understand why they should be calm, considerate and listen to others.
  6. fleacyt

    fleacyt New Member

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    I didn't really like reading this book but I realized most of the techniques did make sense for my DS and we were using many just not consistently. I agree with what other people said that if your kid doesn't need it don't use it ! Many children respond to more relaxed, less consistent approaches and if you feel more comfortable that way then I think it's best to go with what works for you :)

    About the school handing out the book, I don't want to start an argument here (!!!) but IMO if you are sending your child to daycare/school and you are okay with them disciplining and raising your child the way they see fit (which is what they will do) then I wouldn't see it as too shocking that they give you a book... now if it is shocking or crossing the line sI think it is time to really start thinking about what else goes on all day when you are not there with your child and that you would not agree with, I think it would be a good idea to start really knowing the teachers and staff that care for your children so that you are able to make an informed decision as to whether this is what you want for your kid or not.
  7. heymarykate

    heymarykate Guest

    123 = behaviour disorders?

    My husband works at an alternative school for students with emotional / behavior disorders. He swears that 90% of his students parents utilize the 123 technique.
  8. annsni

    annsni Amity's Focus Member

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    What's wrong with making your child sleep on the floor if they have a nightmare? I keep blankets and such in my room for when the kids need to sleep in my room. We have a queen sized bed and both DH and I are rough sleepers. REALLY rough. It's not safe for the kids in our bed. LOL So instead, I have a large vellux blanket that is folded next to my bed that I lay out in 4 layers so it's nice and thick. The kids bring in their pillow and I have a blanket ready for them. They know they can come in anytime they need to and have used it a few times. I also recently used it when both of my little ones on different nights had very high fevers so I could keep an eye on them. We use those little fake votive candles that are battery operated so that they have a "nightlight" without bringing too much light into the room and they are literally less than a foot from me where I can just put my hand over the edge of the bed to check on them.

    I don't understand what's so cruel about this?
  9. Chickapea

    Chickapea Guest

    I do the same, Ann, as my parents did with me. I'm fairly normal. :lol: I would have been much more upset to be sent back to my room than to be given a pallet of blankets on their floor.
  10. punkin

    punkin Amity's Focus Member

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    you all realize this is WAY old?
  11. annsni

    annsni Amity's Focus Member

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    LOL - Nope. :) I saw it on the front page of "New Posts" so I clicked in.
  12. Chickapea

    Chickapea Guest

    Yes, I was just responding to Ann. :)
  13. Mama2miracles

    Mama2miracles Active Member

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    correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation. could be the other way around. Might be that parents with kids who have emotional/behavioral disorders tend that way out of necessity BECAUSE the kids have these issues.
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2010

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