I think we'll just stay home the rest of the Summer.

Discussion in 'Large Families' started by Chickapea, Jun 12, 2009.

  1. Chickapea

    Chickapea Guest

    Today is the first day that I have gone out by myself with all five kids to a store or anything other than the grocery store once. Normally I got errands, etc. done when the older three were in school.

    We got so many looks and comments (not all said to us, some said quietly about us as they walked by) only two of which were positive and nice.

    I want to say something back so badly, but am not sure if it's better to stand up for the kids while being a bad example to them or not. (Because the way they were talking, I'm sure it wouldn't have turned out well.)

    The kids even made comments about all of the comments when we got back to the van. I did tell them that no matter anyone else said, we loved them and they were a blessing to us and it didn't matter what other people thought about our family size. Unfortunately, it DOES bother me when people say things for various reasons, one being that I don't want the kids to think that they are a negative thing or something bad to be talked about.


    Sometimes, I just don't like people. :vent:

    (I'm not really planning to stay home the rest of the Summer. I have fun things planned for us. I just hate hate hate the looks and comments. Especially the comments that might make them feel like a big family is a negative thing or that they are a negative thing.)
  2. countrygal

    countrygal Guest

    Sorry that happened. Unfortunately, there are a lot of rude people out there. I hope this normally does not happen to you.
  3. javamommy

    javamommy New Member

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    I'm sorry it happened unfortunatly it happens all the time for me.The looks i got as a single mom of 4 and comments made then when we'd go out with our family of 6 his 2 my 4 and yeah people would actually interrupt our dinner to ask if they were all ours....grrrr try not to let it get to you smile say yes and go on your merry way
  4. free thinker

    free thinker Active Member

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    I like to think that they are secretly jealous b/c they are so hung up on the 'two kids' thing, and they don't want to rock the boat :D Sorry you had to hear negative comments, though. I always hear "You've got your hands full!" when I go out (grocery shopping requires a double stroller and a grocery cart, I juggle both all thru the store. I am sure it is comical to watch, especially if the two older ones start acting out.) I always smile and say back "Yes, I absolutely do!"
  5. tikva18

    tikva18 busy building blocks

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    Sorry you're getting comments. Where I live I think it's pretty common place to have large families - or at least, it's not uncommon. We rarely get comments, but maybe that's because our family isn't particularly large compared to others here.
  6. Kris

    Kris Amity's Focus Member

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    I am so sorry that happened!!

    We have had our share of comments too. Maybe it would help if you had a standard comment to say? "We have really been blessed, haven't we?" or "yes, I have my hands full but wouldn't have it any other way" said in syrupy sweet voice?

    I know with us, it has been important to address it when it happens. My kids felt better after...and most people are flat going to shut up if you say something, kwim? I don't think people realize just how hurtful they are being when our kids hear things!

    The other thing we have done is have a 'code word' for making us feel better. In CA, where large families are very uncommon, we got looks and comments all time so DH started calling it our "freak factor". So now the family joke is to say "FREAK FACTOR" and laugh it off.

    Just remember, that how you handle it will be how the kids do. If you act tired and exasperated, the kids will also. (I say as a reminder to myself:)). The comments also seem to get less as your youngest grows up a bit.

    ((((HUGS!))))

    You will get used to it!
  7. gypsimama

    gypsimama in a state of flow

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    I only have 3 but they were all born close together. When #3 was an infant I would get a lot of "boy you have your hands full" and my response was always "and so is my heart". :) No one every commented back. ;)
  8. Chickapea

    Chickapea Guest

    I am happy to report that we did NOT stay home all Summer. :eek: If anything, we went out and did mre than we normally do. I did still get a few comments to the negative, but most were fairly nice. Some amazement (if I go out and about with a few now and I talk to people, it comes around to "How many kids DO you have?" and when I answer 5, I get "WOW!!!" heh)

    I didn't want to keep the kids home and not having the Summer that I had planned because of ignorant people and, after all, the only way to make large famillies more common or seen is to be out there and be a good example of one, right?
  9. Tremor Christ

    Tremor Christ Amity's Focus Member

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    Still a D.O.L.
    That is great Cindy!!
    I still don't feel like I have a big family. It's funny at the PJ parties a few people when they met me would say Mindi, you're the one that has a bunch of kids right? :lol: They either knew me for that or for the Eddie white pants pictures :couch:
    When I tell people that I have 8 kids and that Emaline is my oldest they are really surprised. Which is good I think. :lol:
  10. Chickapea

    Chickapea Guest

    hehe For sure! I don't know if people are surprised that I have that many kids or just about that family size to begin with. Normal family size here is 2 or 3.
  11. marie35

    marie35 New Member

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    theres nothing to be shamed of.. there are u r kids.. what embarrassment????
  12. Blessedinmaine

    Blessedinmaine New Member

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    I'm sorry this happened. We have five also that are ten years old and under. When we lived in south Georgia we couldn't go ANYWHERE without comments. It would drive me nuts!! We live in Maine now and the only comments I've gotten are "your children are so well behaved" or "I came from a large family and miss it." I have not had any big family comments. sigh. I love it. These Mainers even encourage me to bring them all to the OB appts as we're expecting #6. I know many families with six plus kids in our rural area.
  13. Nanu57v

    Nanu57v New Member

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    I know this thread is really old, but stares from me really were jealousy. I often can't help but be consumed by the large families at the grocery store. When I was dealing with multiple miscarriages and longing for the large family I always wanted I would look at the cute family with six kids and think, "wow, I so wish that could be me." So, maybe sometimes that might be some people's attitude.
  14. tikva18

    tikva18 busy building blocks

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    :hug: I'm sorry.

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