Gentle Guidance as kids get older

Discussion in 'Gentle guidance' started by heythereheather, Jun 11, 2010.

  1. heythereheather

    heythereheather A reading family

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    What works for you? any successes and/or failures to share?

    I'm posting this to bump the spam down, but figure it's a good discussion nonetheless.

    I find that gentle guidance gets easier for me as the kids get older. I think: I get better at it, the kids aren't always needing to push the limits, and we just work together better.
  2. tikva18

    tikva18 busy building blocks

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    I find that repeating what my children say - reframing it - so they know I heard them is very beneficial. Then I can sympathize, etc with them and they are 1. more apt to come to me again and 2. more willing to listen to me.
  3. Robin

    Robin Jesus Follower

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    Our biggest issues have switched from physical acting out to verbal. We are focusing on "soft words" using the Proverbs as a model. So when the boys are harsh in their tone we remind them to use "soft words" and then help them figure out what they are.

    But yes it is easier as they get older, now we get to figure out how to guide them with other issues.
  4. heythereheather

    heythereheather A reading family

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    Oh, Anders has had some trouble with name-calling, too. What has helped him--when he calls someone a name, we help him think of three things to say that are true. His brother isn't "stupid", for instance. That's not truth. We help him say that he feels frustrated, then go back and say three true thigns about his brother. It has been incredibly effective with him.
  5. Robin

    Robin Jesus Follower

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    We have to do this with J, but not about his brothers about himself. (I am stupid. I am scared. I am bad.) So we kind of do the same thing with him and use positive affirmations. No you are not stupid. You are smart. You are creative. God created you special and unique.

    We are really trying to tie a lot of their dicispline to how God views them and each other.

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