ack missed last nights call

Discussion in 'EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique' started by starkisses, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. starkisses

    starkisses Amity's Focus Member

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    dangit meant to call in -- so I will join the next one

    I do have a question though - I have wanted to try tapping and I have my phrases I think best work for me ... but what word would I keep saying as my issue??

    here are my phrases that I think best fit how Im feeling

    " Even though I've struggled with my weight for years and I'm embarrassed, I deeply & completely forgive myself for what I have not and have done. "

    " Even though I feel quilty when I overeat, I deeply & completely love and accept myself. "

    " Even though I feel quilty about being overweight, I deeply & completely accept myself and my feelings. "


    I have issues with willpower - walking away from temptations or after one bite of something I shouldnt even have taken a bite of as I know it defiently won't help me overcome my battle with my weight.

    I also have the issue of I can follow or stay focused for a week then I fall off, not giving myself a chance to get into a true routine and form healthy habits.

    Anyone have any insight and suggest a word to tap on or any guidence since I missed last nights call to ask this.

    thanks!
  2. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    I am pretty sure that you can just get in on SUnday night's call. Email Deborah.

    As for somewhere to start...
    With EFT...often for EFT to be really effective, you need to get specific. SO, a place to start is;"How do I feel about my weight right now?'

    foe me I said
    "I feel ugly and I want to hide'.
    So that became my setup phrase...
    "Even though I feel ugly and I want to hide, I deeply and completely accept myself."

    then Deborah asked me "Is there another time in your life that you remember feeling like this" or "What do these feelings remind you of?'

    for me it reminded me of when I was in Jr High and I was really curvy and I did not fit into the same clothes as all of my skinny friends...So those memories became part of my tapping phrases...

    So you are looking to tap on specific past things in the past that make up your belief system about yourself now. The writing on your walls so to speak.

    You can tap on ANYTHING. If stuff is not coming to you, then just tap on what you have globally what words, images or memories are coming to you. No memory is too small or insignificant. If your mind is bringing it forth then it is telling you 'tap on mmmeeeeeeeeeeee'.

    I HTH a bit. If I have time I'll type out more later :)

    DO you remember times when you were younger when you felt guilty and embarassed about being overweight? That is a good place to start!:)
  3. starkisses

    starkisses Amity's Focus Member

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    To be completely honest there is one memory that I have fought for years to make disappear and its a constant reminder and it has seriously effected the relationship between my step grandmother and I.... I have tried in my head to forgive her over and over and over and over but it doesnt seem to fade.

    My step-gm lived across the street from us so it wasn't like I could seriously avoid her but I sure as heck tried to.

    I really feel that my weight problem started around 3rd grade. Its when she stood there straight in my face and said " You are a pig " my mother was standing next to me and I looked up at her and she just shrugged and didn't say a word.

    That scene replays over and over for me. I didn't willingly go over to her house, if I did I tried to not stay long. She has no idea how this has affected me. I have always been the odd one out. Im not her "blood" and Im the fat relative out of every single person that gets together on holidays or family gatherings. I just stand out.

    I have always wondered what she was thinking of me every time I see her ever since that moment. And I have a terrible time wondering what everyone thinks of me. I would rather hide most days in the house then feel like everyone peeks through their window and is looking at me.

    This 'event' in my life was many years ago and it has a great hold on me. I have wondered if I should confront her but then I dont want to bring it up because I hate confrontation and she'd probably never remember that she ever said it.

    I think it really is the root of a lot of my weight issues.


    I am embarrassed by how big I have become. I graduated at 245 and maintained for 3years til I mc the first pregnancy and then I jumped up to 280 in a matter of 3months and took 1.5years to get down to 266 then got preggo with Caden and delivered at 316 and by the time he was 1 I got back down to 245 then a year later I was 233 and now 8 months later I am 252. I'm tired of focusing on a number and not being happy about where I am at any given day. But Im just not happy with me. I felt a lot better about myself at 233 then I do now of course.

    I only know I will feel great as the weight comes off again, I just need to get something to seriously click in myself and do a total body make over inside to outside.

    Thank You Linda for your input - means a lot.


    " Even though I've struggled with my weight for years and I'm embarrassed, I deeply & completely forgive myself for what I have not and have done. "
  4. Linda

    Linda Amity's Focus Member

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    Jody, you have something great to work with.:hug: THe very COOL thing about EFT is you don't need to anything but neutralize your response to that situation. You cannot control what other people think say or do, but you can change the writing on your OWN walls. So, the next time a situation comes up that would normally trigger your response, it won't anymore if you have neutralized it with EFT.

    From what little you told me...
    Set the situation, describe the circumstance people involved and how you FELT. DOn't make it too long, keep it to the point. Also if you had multiple feelings when your step grandmother said that thing to you..then take one emotiona at a time and deal with it if you can manage it. Also you will also have to deal with the fact that your mother said NOTHING. I am sure that was just as devastating for you. So there are a few aspects already that you need to cover.
    Find the specific incident. Your movie with the beginning middle and end.
    1) tell the story in first person 'I'
    2) tell the story in black and white and third person 'she, he,'etc. do this until it feels comfortable in third person.
    3) tell in B&W third person BACKWARDS. truly backwards.
    4) tell the story as a technicolor cartoon inserting cartoon characters(you know, Shrek, Fiona, Cinderella, Bambi, Pokemon, whichever ones strike your fancy) for the people. (the players are still there...kind of like a cartoon/real person morph) Still in third person.
    5) tell the story with in technicolor, with cartoon characters backwards.Third person.
    6) tell the story in technicolor with cartoon characters with very upbeat music overlaying the whole story. THird person.
    For the music, the other person can hum it...or you can just have it recorded and play it. You can have it on your IPOD/MP3 or on a Cd etc.In our Workshop we used Benny Hill theme song and Can Can music. You can download music form the internet. Also, cartoon themes would work great for kids. Anything UPBEAT...no words.

    Telling the story in third person dissociates the story teller from it..by switching from 'I' to 'she'. Then they further dissociate them selves from it by adding cartoon characters and music overlay. Now if the incident is horrific, like abuse or a bomb blast etc...you must use your judgement...technicolor and cartoon character would most likely not be appropriate. However, you can do the B&W movie over and over in third person forward and backward. You are making new associations with the memory. Totally jives with my Neurobiology background. You are causing a pattern interrupt.

    This method is so very cool! I watched people just shift quickly using this technique. It really is not all that time intensive to do...especially since it is so effective.

    LMK if you need more input. I am HAPPY TO help. :)
  5. Deborah

    Deborah New Member

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    Hi Jody,
    This is great -- having a specific incident is great to tap on. Linda's given lots of good direction. We can tap on this on the Sunday call as well as the embarrassment.
    - Deb.

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