Loving To Learn Again
Submitted by MomofHeathens on Wed, 04/26/2006 - 04:00.
My
daughter, Chelle, was a public school student up until the fourth
grade. There were times before that when we had problems with teachers,
but it was her fourth grade year that finally made me realize that I
needed to stand up for her more. That is the year I watched my usually
sweet, happy child turn into a depressed and moody bundle of nerves.
She would often come home from school crying and constantly talked
about how stupid she was. Each time when I would try to find out what
made her think these things, she would immediately clam up and retreat
into herself.
Chelle’s
main problems in class were that she talked too much and fidgeted in
her seat. As soon as the teacher hinted that this was a problem, I sent
in information on little things she could try that might help, as well
as a stress ball for my daughter to squeeze and sugar-free candy for
rewards and treats (this teacher gave the kids sugar daily but expected
them to sit still). In return, she suggested that I put Chelle on
medication for ADHD and seek counseling. I tried to nicely tell her not
a snowball’s chance and thought things were going well until the night
I went to the school for a parent-teacher conference.
When
I walked into the classroom there was a lone desk sitting in the front
facing back toward all the others. I couldn’t help but feel sad for the
poor child who was being humiliated like that. Sad, that is, until I
found out that the seat belonged to MY child. That’s when I became
furious! Yes, because of things my daughter had trouble controlling,
she was humiliated daily in front of her peers and I was informed that
she was not allowed to join in group activities either. The teacher
also encouraged the other students to make fun of Chelle’s mild speech
impediment in order to “encourage” her to do better in speech therapy.
As I said,
I was furious and a part of me honestly wanted to physically hurt this
woman. How dare she cause my daughter pain like this! What’s even worse
is that Chelle was so scared of what her teacher might do to her that
she had endured this treatment for most of the year without telling me.
My heart broke for her. The teacher made several lame excuses and then
tried to call me a bad parent for Chelle being the way she was. All I
could do in response was inform the woman that she was very lucky I
consider knocking her out to be unladylike!
Once I
realized that the teacher wasn’t worth arguing with, I went to the
principal who honestly turned out to be just as worthless and uncaring.
So I wrote a letter to the superintendent of schools documenting
exactly what was said and what I expected to be done, and I pulled my
daughter out of public school without a single glance backwards.
Now, we had
planned to start homeschooling the next school year anyway, so this was
only an early start on our plans. Since starting homeschooling, I have
been given back my sweet, happy child and she has honestly blossomed
more than I could have hoped for. Her naturally outgoing personality
has made her lots of friends at the weekly homeschool groups we hang
out with, and she’s starting to recover from the damage done by her
public school teacher.
Oh yes,
there was damage that we are still trying to fix. Chelle still worries
about not doing well enough, she still thinks she’s stupid at times,
and she constantly doubts her own abilities, but we’re working on it. I
just remind her that she’s smart, funny, and doing a great job. I also
don’t give her letter grades on her work because she felt like a
failure any time she got something wrong. Now she does the work, if
it’s not right we discuss it and learn how to fix it, and then we move
on.
Homeschooling
has had its ups and downs for both of us but it’s definitely one of the
best decisions I’ve ever made. I never knew I could find so much joy in
learning with my children, and being there to guide them in all ways.
My daughter never knew learning and life could be so much fun! At home,
Chelle is always a great student and the “teacher’s” pet. Every day
with her is an “A+” kind of day.