I
cannot express enough the importance of surrounding yourself with
smart, positive influences. Here is my story about how one quiet
afternoon brought me from near depression...

 I made the choice to stay home right after the birth of my first child.

 I was so excited at the prospect of being with her all the time.

 However, I was shocked to learn that the reality was quite different.

 Though
my baby was healthy, she was a challenge. She had colic, she rarely
napped, and wanted only me for a good portion of her first year.

 I
tried to remember my blessings, since I was such a lucky woman. And
yet, as the weeks passed, I would peek through the curtains and watch
my husband pull out of the driveway for work and think it seemed very
unfair. Why did only one of our lives change so drastically? Suddenly I
was stuck here, and everyone else was at work. I had no clue what I was
doing. All I did know was that I became very lonely and sad.

 To
attempt to cope, I brought myself down to complaining on a regular
basis about my new life. I am not talking about venting, either. I
mean, every time the phone rang and someone asked how it was going, I
would go into a tangent about how hard the day was. My husband bore the
brunt of most of those conversations. He tried his best to be
supportive, but could not relate to my bitterness. If it was a fellow
mom on the phone, her usual response was, "It gets worse." Every time I
heard that, my heart sank. No one seemed to have an answer for my
confusion and loneliness.  I finally recognize
how hurtful this was to me now, (and not to mention the listener) and I
don't want to be that person anymore.

 As a result, I began to identify the nagging feeling I carried.

  The support I needed came in a package I ignored for so long.  Recently,
I was sitting in a friend's kitchen. Her kids were playing with mine,
and we were happily chatting. All of a sudden I realized, each time I
was with this person, everything seemed easier. I remembered my first
few months of motherhood, and whenever I was around this woman,
whatever we were doing with the kids, and wherever we were, the time
passed so smoothly. I was really enjoying each moment, just like I
should. Sure, the children were occupied, and I was having some adult
interaction. But we never talked in a derogatory way about our choices
as moms. I realized too, that over the last few years, she has gently
given me books that have helped her gain perspective. She's shown me
great websites, invited me to her playgroups, and introduced me to her
friends. I think I may have pushed her away because we raise our kids
so differently, and I was afraid we'd have nothing in common. I
couldn't have been more wrong.